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The agent orange was taking over my lungs and blood stream,
I cried in a pitch black room with a very tan man,

He came towards me with only giggles and smirks laughing at my coughs,

He won.

Years later I end up emancipated,
With a son in my hands,
And a mental disorder taking over my mind and soul.

I was trapped.

The government was after me.

Taping my life, as my blood stream to my son and I were connected.

I laughed aloud.

I kept laughing.

I hit my son.

I kept hitting.

The government arrested me.
Gave me nickel and mustered gas in the back of my head.

I'm left with a scar.

Every time my son did drugs my heart collapsed a little.

He wasn't supposed to be born.

He Is the soul inside me.

He is my way out.

I laughed.

Then I killed myself.
What are words but sounds and consonants?
Semantics give meaning.
  Reason is misleading.
   Forgive me, I am dreaming
    of a day when trees stop bleeding
      for your written words,
        your sounds and consonants.
What is worth
    but a series of crowns and continents?
 Apr 2013 Rosaline Moray
Sappho
Yes, Atthis, you may be sure

Even in Sardis
Anactoria will think often of us

of the life we shared here, when you seemed
the Goddess incarnate
to her and your singing pleased her best

Now among Lydian women she in her
turn stands first as the red-
fingered moon rising at sunset takes

precedence over stars around her;
her light spreads equally
on the salt sea and fields thick with bloom

Delicious dew pours down to freshen
roses, delicate thyme
and blossoming sweet clover; she wanders

aimlessly, thinking of gentle
Atthis, her heart hanging
heavy with longing in her little breast

She shouts aloud, Come! we know it;
thousand-eared night repeats that cry
across the sea shining between us
Bohemian goddesses stalking the coffeehouse
All wiry hair and flowing skirts
Points of view and opinions and self worth
How her soul craved to join them
Don headbands and sandals and learn to be like them
To play the bongos and be part of natures and kove what’s real
She wanted to feel her soul in the mass joining of the human spirit

She envisioned it, and it was beautiful.
We parted ways
it was uncivil , uncaring ,
unclean cuts still linger in my body
the wounds have seared open and snapped shut at the mention of your name .

it frustrates me , still .
how you were ,
how I was ,
and who we are now .
neither of us comprehend the damage done to one another
our mouths open when our backs have turned .

You are still beautiful to me though ,
But I will not admit it .
And I am still your best friend
but you don't hear these words when you read them
to know they are wrote for you .
Lonely is a girl someone once loved too much.
Lonely lays in bed and thinks of why it was too perfect.
Lonely stays up till 4 and wakes at 6 only to be alone.
Lonely cries and blames herself.
But Lonely forgets…
Lonely ignores the memories of pain.
Lonely doesn’t acknowledge the fights.
Lonely dismisses the abuse as her fault.
But Lonely still lays in bed and thinks of why it was too perfect.
Lonely cries and blames herself…
Original 3-23-2010
Bathtub overflowing
Spilling
Spitting
Spinning
Giant vortexes
Consuming the bathroom
Where a single candle burns,
Where a single candle is put out.
Where the rubber ducky floats
But then sinks.
Nothing stays afloat forever.
She sloughs off her skin,
stepping out with heavy
feet to let her
coffin fall around her
piece by silk pale piece.

Raw and bleeding,
the water encases her in
a liquid embrace, as
calm as a mother's arms
as quiet as death at midnight.

Naked and alone
the water turning red with
truth and thoughts held
close, she washes away the
weighted thoughts of a future unknown.

What life she must lead,
to hide behind closed doors, locked
against the eyes of those
she so sweetly calls
her dearest friends.

But soon she is clean of filth
and doubt and steps out
into the gleaming lights of reality,
facing again the impeccable
glass of imperfection and truth.

She denies the facts and
slowly recovers, recollects
the pieces of a lie
formed through years
of trying to belong to others.

And slowly, like a geisha,
she paints on a face strange
and familiar, her practiced
hands trembling slightly,
the first crack in a porcelain mask.

It is then she stops,
caught on a stray thought
that has crept from the depths
of reddened water, the  realization
that the geisha died long ago.
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