There's a dotted line
B e t w e e n   u s

It might never be strong enough to
Connect us,
To be solid,
And there will always be
**        les
Like swiss cheese.

And I hope it isn't
nothing
Like I thought it was
Once.

Just
Something
In
My head.

It's
A little
Bit
There

And
A
Little bit
Gone

It's
A
Dotted line

Don't
Pretend
To like me.
Don't
You
Even try

You
Ask
Me
Why
I'm
Insecure

I say
"I don't know why."

But
Really
It's just
Guys like
You.

Playing with my heart.

I
Always
Labeled
You
'Bad news'

I knew it from the start.

Normal
Stupid
Guys
Like you
Mostly
Pass
Me
By.

Please
Don't
Pretend
To like
Me

Don't you
Even
Try.

1 Look around. You should be.... You should be dancing. Dance with me.
But you don't. You won't dance, you push me away.
2 You built your own wall, now find your way around.
You think that you can ignore your feelings. Ignore me. Money can't buy you happiness.
3 And where's your shiny car? Did it ever get you far?
You need help. Those drugs aren't numbing the pain, they're making it worse.
4 Lately her face seems slowly sinking, wasting.
You just wanted to impress everyone.
5 You just tried too hard and you froze
You're so stressed. You're restless.
6 This city never sleeps and that makes two
You're wasting your life. It won't last forever.
7 I do what I want when I feel like it. All I want to do is lose control.
Everyone is watching you. Everyone knows that you're in a downward spiral.
8 And the camera flashes make it look like a dream
I've always been here. I never left you. Why won't you trust me? *
9 Cuz all I know is we said hello ad your eyes look like coming home.
I won't wait for you any longer. I'm done with you.
10 Headed for the open door. Tell me what you're waiting for.
I'm waiting for *you

Livie told her parents
About the cuts on her wrists
From the girls at school
And the calorie counting
In a little green notebook shoved into pockets.

Livie's parents
Fed her
To the dragon called
Mr. Therepist
Who chewed forever.

And he plumped her up
With lies
So that they spilled from her mouth
Like a fountain.
And she threw up
So many times
That she started to believe them.

And
Mr. Therepist
Spit her out
In a big
Sticky
***.
Shaped my monster spit
And
Stomach acid
From when she threw up lies.

And though she was finally in school,
Livie stayed gone.

Livie had dissolved in the dragon's stomach,
Leaving piles of bones
And shadows
Under eyes.


She never came back.

He told you
He wants you to be sluttier.

If he loved you
Like you want him to
Like you love him
He would
Never
Even
Think
About asking you to change.

Why can't you see?

He's ruining you.

He eats at your soul like an earthworm
hollowing things out in there

He's done it to girls before.

Why can't you see?

He's using you.

Why can't you see?

And on her patterned wrist
She scratched
*Please Don't Go

It got so high
Yesterday
That at first
My mom told me that
I just didn't have to do my homework.

99.4

I lay in bed
And cocooned in covers
Because
My skin was warm
But my blood felt like
Liquid polar bear.

99.9

I got bored.

100.3

My mom took my temperature.

101.4

She ran a bath
And the thought
It would be smart
To make it
Feel
Like
Liquid
Polar bear
Again.

102.2

Mom says I hummed.
So she thought I was
Better.
I got out of my
Liquid
Polar
Bear
Tub.

101.7

I climbed back into bed.

102.5

Mom got on a work call.

102.8

I fell asleep.

103.1

My heart rate went down.

103.4

I woke up.

103.6

I

103.7

Couldn't

103.8

Breathe

104.1

104.1

104­.1

But mom was on her work call.

And they forgot about me
Let sin take over
As soon as Eve
Laid a pearly white finger
Upon the flesh of the apple

For those first poisoned bites
Sent wedges
Like earthquakes
In between us.

A huge crack of rubble
Uncrossed,
No bridges to connect

And dust filled the air between
To cut off breath
And to cut you off from me
So you could not see me
And you could not hear me

But I want to know you
I want to hear your voice
I want to know you more.

I want to touch you
I want to see your face
I want to know you more.

And that injection
That sin
Coursed through your veins
And thickened the blood
That connected us
And made it thick and dull and cancerous
Until it was still.

And one day
I hope for a cure
To this evil disease.

Something to help blood flow
Like a river from the crimson heart.
And I will send
A
Bridge between us
To connect us once more
And make a swept
Breeze to clear the air.


I will send Jesus.

You left
For England
Saturday
An it was raining when you left
An when you got back
It rained still.

And you were gone
For one week
Seven days.
Which is five school days
For me to squeeze through geometry
without you
(And
I
Can
Barely
Survive
With
You)

And Sarah asked
For a Union Jack
T-shirt
And told you
Not to forget.

And you brought it
For her
And
Got
Nothing
For
Me

But you told me
"You didn't ask
But if you want something
I'll get it for you
Next time.
I have to go back in
Six to eight weeks"

And I thought
You would have
Bought me something
Not as a
Souvenir
But
As
An
Apology

For leaving my alone
For a week
To live lonely

And yet
You'll go back
To England across the pond
In
Six
To
Eight
Weeks

Sometimes I doubt you're actually going to England.

Sometimes I forget I have a father.