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I am not congruent
If you open me up
You will find mismatched bones
And the disjointedness of me

Every jungle has a snake
I am in the garden of Eden
And my peers feel like
They are the conspirators

I am loved, often
He holds me and I sleep
But nothing is perfect
Nothing can stay, not even him

I am brittle and fragile
My bones break on a nightly basis
My mother fears I'll crumble
We all turn to ash, one day
 Jan 2014 Robyn Lewis
Mosaic
I look at the ***** mirror.
The mirror isn't the ***** one.
. :
I've been
getting
tired

since
1954

when my father was
born

since when
we would
begin
beginning

to eventually
end
and anyways

I don't have insomnia
but I do watch
wildly

with my lower spine
and whine

and refrigerate
my mind

and he there,
that one

looks into
my eyes
as if

I've been
kicking him
since he was
a child

and
keeps it
up
 Oct 2013 Robyn Lewis
Nyx
Addiction
 Oct 2013 Robyn Lewis
Nyx
So I traced back our love with an uncertain pen,
The track led to blank pages that were ours to paint,
I can't stop the tracing although I can't stop the pain,
An addiction is an addiction itself that cannot be tamed,
Because it always hurts the same.
The gleeful laughter was like myrrh,

Dewy, unprovoked,

Mouth opened, like a gaping hole

In Elysium….

She laughed, and I watched,

She laughed like life was bereft of pain;

I looked at her… and I laughed;

Cause her laughter bore a spell.
The cold ***** is standing in darkness
But the south of the trees is dry to the touch

The heavy limbs climb into the moonlight bearing feathers
I came to watch these
White plants older at night
The oldest
Come first to the ruins

And I hear magpies kept awake by the moon
The water flows through its
Own fingers without end

Tonight once more
I find a single prayer and it is not for men
home decorating magazines say, avoid blue walls
instead, opt for yellow, sunshine, cheery
my mood matches the walls here
blue blue blue blue
four days
chin deep and alone
my companions I bought for thirty six dollars and change:
Bukowski, and some young unknown poet’s first anthology

I have starved myself for four days to begin loving my body again
today: one orange
shrunken and underwhelming without its peel
why is it? when I love myself I find
only contempt for the people around me

it’s stormed for four days
bone rumbling thunder
spiking veins of lightning
liquid bullets soak into my skin, pound into my bones

at night, I dream of becoming water
Time
will go on eternal

Life
is numbered in years

Death
only one per person

War
counted in losses

Peace
counted in the lack thereof

Expression
is boundless and without count

A song
need only a few notes

A poem
but a few words

Love
needs only two hearts

Happiness
is how you count your blessings
Lo! Death has reared himself a throne
In a strange city lying alone
Far down within the dim West,
Where the good and the bad and the worst and the best
Have gone to their eternal rest.
There shrines and palaces and towers
(Time-eaten towers and tremble not!)
Resemble nothing that is ours.
Around, by lifting winds forgot,
Resignedly beneath the sky
The melancholy waters lie.

No rays from the holy Heaven come down
On the long night-time of that town;
But light from out the lurid sea
Streams up the turrets silently—
Gleams up the pinnacles far and free—
Up domes—up spires—up kingly halls—
Up fanes—up Babylon-like walls—
Up shadowy long-forgotten bowers
Of sculptured ivy and stone flowers—
Up many and many a marvellous shrine
Whose wreathed friezes intertwine
The viol, the violet, and the vine.

Resignedly beneath the sky
The melancholy waters lie.
So blend the turrets and shadows there
That all seem pendulous in air,
While from a proud tower in the town
Death looks gigantically down.

There open fanes and gaping graves
Yawn level with the luminous waves;
But not the riches there that lie
In each idol’s diamond eye—
Not the gaily-jewelled dead
Tempt the waters from their bed;
For no ripples curl, alas!
Along that wilderness of glass—
No swellings tell that winds may be
Upon some far-off happier sea—
No heavings hint that winds have been
On seas less hideously serene.

But lo, a stir is in the air!
The wave—there is a movement there!
As if the towers had ****** aside,
In slightly sinking, the dull tide—
As if their tops had feebly given
A void within the filmy Heaven.
The waves have now a redder glow—
The hours are breathing faint and low—
And when, amid no earthly moans,
Down, down that town shall settle hence,
Hell, rising from a thousand thrones,
Shall do it reverence.
I never was any good at
letting go. Like the balloon
at the fair twenty-something
years ago.

I tried so hard to hold on
to it, red and bursting
with helium and love. The harder
my little hand grasped the string, the more
it slipped away until, regrettably,
it floated up. Slowly and then
all at once. But it's not the
red balloons fault, I hold
no grudge, nor do I blame
you.

The only direction you could go
was up. Into the atmosphere.
I was a weight holding you,
in all your firey-red glory, to the earth. A
water filled ball
and chain.

Watching you float further
and further away from me, turning
into a tiny spec, my eyes still trying to see
where you would go, where your destiny
and the wind
would take you.

The tiny red balloon
became a piece of my heart
that went missing. Landing
a random place, thousands of
miles away, maybe, existing to
remind me
of all
that I've lost.

The balloon that got away
is the only one
I remember. The only
color I saw fading
into the clouds. The only
one I ever
loved.
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