he carried her heart in his heart
loved her despite the allegory
that was her life, despite the pity
in his eyes, despite the pity in his eyes

he carried her soul in his soul
loved her despite the spite
loved her ***** soul despite her filth,
despite the doom of her soul,
despite the doom of her soul

he loved her with his spirit
carried her spirit in his spirit
loved her despite her dooms of love
despite her dooms of love

loved her despite her dooms


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater

the man in the yard rakes leaves
splashes them into a pile
flourishes his rake over and over
swashbuckling like a Hollywood pirate
in a choreographed action scene
as though he’s dancing,
his diligence giving him grace
his movements clear the grass of the litter
changing brown to green
he begins on another area, raking motions
like gentle waves on a beach
forward, backward, side-to-side
repeating them again and again
revealing more green
swashing the yard with his rake-sword
a ballroom dancer with no audience but me
in standing ovation


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater

a wearied heart dislikes a drawbridge
set to keep one out while letting one in
wearied by the stop and go
of the flow across it and of the flow under it

wearied of the constant up-and-down
pulling up, letting down
the never-ending demand for passwords
the disappointment in the incorrect answers

the fear that it chose wrong
that it will regret this choice
and thus it keeps out more than it allows in
gives more than it gets, which is just enough

just enough to keep it fed by hope
just enough to keep it alive and yearning
just enough of just enough
just enough of only enough

yet, that mustard seed of hope grows,
flowers, then casts more seeds,
fields of hope cover the heart
and Love returns, pure, immaculate

then the bascule ceases its wearying monotony
ceases its thoughtless habitual movements
settles into place, allows the natural flow
of letting-in and clearing-out to commence

beginning with Hope, Gratitude, and Love
ending with Life eternal


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater

my brain puddles as though stopped
soaks in its damp, rising steadily
as though going to some heavenly place
where it’s safe from evaporating
a constancy in reverse

brain storm
fake lightning strikes and thunderings
believes its puddles are wet and deep
believes its windy sky with skudding clouds
believes the wind is stronger than it is
believes it can blow it away
and gust it clean
rainish

the heart knows the truth
Love is stronger and steadier than truth
Love defeats truth
Love defeats evil
Love washes us pristine and pure
knows that rainish is mirage
uncreated
uncreative
uninspired and dis-spirited
knows that

only God is Love


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater

blue fire surrounds you
tints you sacred
extends itself in waves
to all who meet you
saves
them from their ignorance
and the a-theism of their minds
saves
them from their dis-ease of the heart
begins to bond them to themselves
and baptizes them in the Blood

this is no strange fire
it is the fire of the burning bush
the fire that leads by night
and is smoke by day
ever present in the wilderness
of exodus:
the blue fire of Love


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater

his appearance was ordinary
same amount of human parts
distributed as usual
he was not special, in that way

yet….there was SOMEthing about him…
something in his blue-sky eyes
his attractiveness
his cleanness
the allure of his voice

he oozed wisdom
protection
goofiness
smarts
laughter
quick responses
anger where merited
terrifying adeptness
horrifying experience
patience
spoke only Truth
loved to prank us
gave second-third-fourth chances
got angry when we died
acted out at our funerals
mourned our deaths forever
always said Yes
and, most importantly,
Loved
as God Loves
gave forgiveness
generosity of heart
Sacredness
to all, no matter what
no. matter. what.

Sun-crowned
he used himself up
in God’s Service
Spirit-crowned
he gave it all to his Heavenly Father


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater

1
I am blinded by stupidity
as though drunk on it
stupidity made to look normal
to me
teetering on toes
unbalanced and moving along
this rough road
I am trying to find a way through to
myself
by the seat of my pants

a hand stretches to me
large and meaty, strong and gentle
yet I hesitate to take
it in mine
what woozy stupidity sees
is always wrong and never true

                    2
my heart is breakened
the way a wave breaks on a wall
shatters into tatters and shards
releases into the outstretched hand
all the hard surface it was
all the soft torn sheets
of love saved in hardness
all the gentled pieces of me sharpened
by betrayal
into shards
and the floods of salted tears
from verbal slaps and punches, stored
like holy water

my heart becomes a cabinet with locks
stuffed with
broken
sharded
pieces of me
in need of kintsugi

                         3
I float
am buoyed by the salted tears
in the Sea of Forgetfulness
the sea where sins are thrown
never to resurface
a riptide of Love
drowns me
tumbles me about
washes me clean
rounds and smooths
my edges
puts me back together
ashore - safe, sound of body
and mind

                       4
I find my way through
with help from
the Eternal Force
warm as heated, crystalline air
soft as a spring breeze
safe as breath on skin
secure as the spirit of a mountain


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater