fireworks sparkle
the darkened sky of my memory,
sparkling through my soul in a pleasant wave,
uncovering a walk in the jungle of my heartland

and a guava tree.

I’m in my kitchen, filling my nose
with the delicate scent of ripening guavas from Mexico,
palmed in the chalice of my hands,
feeling my way to that jungle walk with my family when I was three
or maybe two, in Hawai’i

and the guava tree.

as I bite through the fragile skin of the yellow globe,
the seeds, like BBs, take me further into my remembrance,
my family around me sharing
the excitement and joy I felt when I saw and climbed

the guava tree.

after we moved back to the Mainland
to a desert paradise I also loved,
each Spring I came down with what I called my Island Virus:
a deep yearning and homesickness
for my heartland

and the guava tree.


c. 2017 Roberta Compton Rainwater

I have been too long in the world.

I am frayed at my edges
chipped
cracked and broken in places

I have been too long in the world.

Have listened too long to the
THOU SHALT NOTs
the
I WANT IT ALL MY WAYs
the
IT'S MY RIGHTs
and I have let them dry the lake of my soul
with their drains and siphons

I have been too long in the world.

I shall use the golden joinery
of the Japanese art
to honor my frayed edges
weave a golden, or silver, or platinum
thread through them
fill my cracks and broken places with lacquered metals

I have been too long in the world.

other edges, smashed to smithereens,
will be left as they lay
jutted, stiff
while the softened, smashed powder from them
I'll keep in a medicine bag
and mix it, as needed, with my blood
stirred into a salve, a queen of healing

I have been too long in the world.

my thousand-times-broken heart
repaired and repaired and repaired
and re-paired
I will wrap like the gift it is
with the gold of Love
while laughter falls from it
salve regina


c. 2017 Roberta Compton Rainwater

beautiful luxury,
crumpled mid-bed
is an insanity of love

an asylum for dreamed life

into this I crawled,
unmade
arranged
not yet awakened

I dreamt of kisses from princes
incandescent with madness
now faded

my bed greets
a lament for the dead

Madness wakes its own



C. 2017 Roberta Compton Rainwater

fluent yet not swift
stilled surface
depth-charged movement
my soul seems to stagnate
seems to have lost the oxygen of inspiration

appearance is deceptive
for I will float you in your boat
allow you to skim over my surface
yet hide the toothy terror
under my duckweeded surface

I am never to be taken lightly
if you can take me at all

water snakes know me well


c. 2017 Roberta Compton Rainwater

The nightness of you
terrifying in its power
to shred
to bite and crack
to maim
crawls over me
sniffs my fragrance
purrs into my ears
my heart
threatens my neck
wrestles me prone
Requires me
I surrender
my love, my Love
while you maul
chew
and lick my submission
my annihilation
out of me
The fawn that was my heart
lies bloodied
in pieces
wanting more
Of you

copyright 2017 by Roberta Compton Rainwater

Comes a wind like
a “shock of leopards” in the temple
quickening, now
ebbing
Yet my soul ---
Ah! the soul takes the shock
into herself
where it yet lingers

Sweeping.

copyright 2016 Roberta Compton Rainwater

I hope I can
remember my mother
with kindness and joy
someday;
to forget the long agony
of watching her disappear into herself,
disappearing into a somewhere I have no ken,
leaving only the angry husk of an ego
so ornery it leaves one
breathless with rage.
I hope I can resurrect her
in my heart someday, some day, and
remember the lovely things she did for us all.

I hope she reappears to me in light and gossamer, as she once did,
in fey jokes and laughter uncontrollable,
in food well cooked and delicious, thoughtful of health
and healing.
I hope I forget the plaints and sorrows soon. Yes, soon.
Sooner.
Soonest.
I hope my love for her will rectify me.


c. June 15, 2013
Roberta Compton Rainwater