Clinging tight
Can't let go
Please release me
From this indignified tripe

I can't seem to let slip
My grip
On this barrage of desire
I need a lover
But disdain love
So I need release
I need peace
Of mind
If you would be so kind
And stop being
The apple of my eye
Please let me unwind
This tangled mess
of my mind
I could let you go
And find some other girl
But god forbid she be a ***
So please could you bestow
The honor of being your beau
And just forgo
The pleasantries
Please just Set my heart aglow

I want you
All the little things
That make you perfect
All the things that don't

Every morning
I want to see
That heartwarming smile

Every day
I want to hear
Your cute little giggle

Every night
I want to feel
Your smooth curves

I want you
And your daddy issues
I want your fears
Of the dark
Of spiders
Of abandonment

I want your
Big heart
I want your
Naive humor
I want your
Good nature

I want you
And all the little things
That make you perfect
All the little things
That make you imperfect
I want the beauty
And the beast
All the flaws
All the mood swings
I won't withdraw
No one night flings

I feel the familiar weight
Of a familiar depression
Before, My response
Was violence
To myself

And with a knife
I carved the peace
And tranquility
Out of my veins
The answers to my misery
Flowed crimson
Down my arms

But the blood runs dry
And the knife
Is dull
So now what will I do?

Life bears down
Grabs you by the horns
Takes you head on
It never surrenders
And never relents

All life ever does
Is push you
And so builds
The pressure
Powerful
Insurmountable

You seek only release
But wait
Aren't you master
Of these affairs?
Didn't you drive
These needs out?

After all
Your release is obvious
Aren't there tally marks
Of the flesh
To mark
Every time you gave in

Until finally the desire
Nay even need
Becomes unbearable
Crimson shall be yours
For the low low price
Of weakness

And so finally
At the end of the week
Your tally
Comes out high again

Cage these feelings
Round them up
Chain them down
Don't let them escape

Hear them cry out
My desires
Are my own
Although I turn
A blind eye
To the misdeeds
Of my heart

I know better
Than to let the feelings out
To express my feelings
Would jeopardize
All we've got
Such great bonds

So strong now
But can they withstand
The fire of desire

These thoughts
Inside my head
What are they?
Here with me
Laying in bed

They go to places
I feel I shouldn't follow
Confusing and dark
Such betrayals
I should not allow

My brain knows
Where the line is drawn
It's off limits
But boundaries
My heart has forgone

Without regard
My heart ponders
Just a friend?
Oh here she comes!
My heart flutters

And my thoughts wander

On the sweet wind
Of a lovely spring day
The kite dances on the wind
Up it flies
Like my spirit
In the wind

The kite silhouettes
Against the sun
The light glistening
Off the thin plastic
Of his flimsy wings

But together
The kites
Dance and dance
In the spring day sun
Shining down
So comforting
With my fiends
You can't tell
Which is cozier

The sun...
Or their love

Porcelain moonlight
Through these winter clouds
Silver light shining
Through wispy doubts

The moon casting
Tones of sobriety
Clearing my head
Of intoxicating
Melancholy attitude

Here I am
In the silver light
Casting a silhouette
Over the carefree purity
With doubts and anxiety

And so I bathe
In this silver
Shower of light
Pure and undefiled

Once proud
Sullen trees
How sadly hang
Their sullen leaves

Long lived
This mighty oak
But soon it is
To finally croak

Memories sweet
Memories stale
If only it could
Share it's tale

Hark! How it would sing
And how it should weep
A life well lived
His wisdom deep

Lonely now
But not before
Companions plenty
Alas, no more

One by one
Birds took flight
All flying south
To warmer light

And so left
The cheery children
But so remained
The loyal Falcon

For him
Life was dear
And for this tree
He did care

Oaken memories
Days of joy
His best friend
Was but a boy

This boy was young
He couldn't pretend
Doomed he was
To outlive his friend

All he wanted
Until the End
Was to be there
Through thick and thin

His last winter
Has arrived
Death of a tree
It made us cry

On this night
The sun set right
The spirits ready
To perform the rite

Deep chanting
Whispering wind
The tree was ready
No sin left to rescind

Shining brightly
The silver moon
And with the tree
It did commune

Softly singing
In charming harmony
Playing proudly
His past so truthfully

Colors faded
Leaves fallen
The trees final day
Has come and gone

3 things
a man creates
happiness
a profit
beauty

every day
we choose
to create

every day
we sacrifice one
for another

profit for happiness
happiness for beauty
beauty for profit

it is a strange
and difficult task
to balance
the three
but to be a man
demands balance

to sacrifice balance
to sloth and greed
is the greatest crime
a man can commit
upon himself

so every day
we choose

Relativity
Sensibility
If you ain't got perspective
And you ain't reactive
Then you aren't proactive

These words only have meaning
If you make them meaningful

Advice
should be a vice
Get your daily dosage
So in your old age
You can be part of the new age
The thoughts of many
Has wisdom uncanny
If you ain't ready
And you aren't steady
Then you lose yourself
To the crowd

Beauty isn't the number
on your bra strap
Nor the number on your IQ test
Hell it ain't the number
On your bank statements either

Not the number on your waist line
Or the amount of teeth you have
Not how many people
Laugh at your jokes or have your number

Beauty is the room in your heart
The space you allow
For all people
All creeds
All religions
All colors
All living things

Beauty is the respect
You have for yourself
And others

Beauty is the strength
To stand up for those
Who are being tread upon

Your actions
make you beautiful
Not your body

Your beauty is what you make of it

Soft
Sweet
Sensuous
She beckons me
with a wave of her hand
Graceful
Seductive
The skin of her chest
Warm against my own
The Flurry of Romance
swelling and engulfing

Her eyes hiding behind
Tender locks of hair
Golden as the sunset
Her eyes glisten
In the moonlight
With the glow
And fervor
Of a true
Woman

I dissolve in the moment
Consuming every passionate
Second
Of this dream

I whisper in her ear
Soft words of passion
The words only I
Can tell her
She let's out a giggle
The kind that sweetens
Even the most bitter
Of hearts
With a smile to match

I melt away
To a world of dreams
One I wish never
To wake from

Sparkling moonlight
As beautiful as dawn
In the golden gate
I gaze upon the heavens
Dissecting every star
Every galaxy
And celestial body
Every planet and 
Every solar system

I see within
Life
I see death
I see
You and me
But most importantly
I see nothing
For within nothing
Lies beauty
And peace

Sweet kiss of the steel
Searing
And endearing

Sliding
Gliding
And biting

Blood loss?
There's no cost
I got plenty to spare
Just like the air

What about self harm?
It ain't without it's charm
Just ignore the marks...on my arm

It's 4 am
Insomnia glows faintly
Like a phosphorescent
Jellyfish

Creeping down
Drifting in
It encloses you

Its poison
Burns
As do your eyes

Paralyzed yet
Conscious

Too tired
To fight it
To awake
To drift with it

Through the veil
Pain flares
Like a volcanic spout

Brain screams
Nothing but
Muffled screams
In the oceanic deep
Of your pillow

The velvet lady
seductive
elusive
Feel the sweet embrace
Incredible and passionate
Crave her sweet romance

Surrender your heart
And be
Forever entwined

Confess these newfound talks
Dreary verbal dance
Realize the illusion
Of interest

Whisper, without engulfing
The conversation
Hesitate only for desire

A conversation of eternity

The world whizzing by
I cant help but sigh...

Everyone speeding
I'm not even seeing

The human soul
what was your goal?

You finished the race
You never set a pace

And now you're gone
As well as the dawn

Left alone with nightfall
No one to answer my call

Its better this way
don't worry I'll be ok....

Consider if you will
The bill

The cost of all actions
every actions reactions

The value of your life
is dependent on:
reactions > actions

They say actions speak louder than words
That the pen is mightier than the sword
To me:
the sword = actions
pen = words

I aim to make
my pen = my swords
and let my mighty pen ROAR
so that my actions are Pure

Consider If You Will

She shoots me a text
Lookin to settle some debts
I knew she had only wanted ***

Gave me the slip
Soon as she knew I would stick
Around longer than one night stand
She understood I was a man

She only wanted a toy
So I was ever so coy

She couldn't understand
That I would take a stand
For something more grand

Longingly I gaze
Out the tall windows

Breeze rustled trees
Taunt me with
Their
freedom
beauty
glory
I wish to join them

I feel that
I too
Could bury my toes
And I would take root
lignifiy
And absorb the golden rays

Then I
Would be the subject
Of the longing
And envious students poetry

Fell far
With a
Imperceptible lack
Of sanity
I lay here
Life remains
Dismally bleak
Now
Solutions
Attainable
Undesirable
Yet required

We scrape the
Minds shattering psyche
For the goo of conciousness
Sludge of humanities spirit
Succesful reboot...

Here we go again

Sitting upon the hill
Gazing the distance
I see the blooming flowers
Opening themselves to the world

Sun Rising
Sun Falling
Beauty in their synergy
Light
And Darkness
Both sides of the same coin

I find equal beauty
In the sunrise
As I do
The flowers
And as I find
in *you

I took her sweet hand
Into mine
She was shaking
As she looked me in the eye

"Do you love me" she asked
My heart skipped a beat
did she doubt me? I wondered
Wrapping my arms around her
I whispered sweetly
In her ears
now and *forever

A worldly wind comes
Whirls through
My hair
Clothes
And mind
Closeing my eyes
It sweeps me away

Off my hands and knees
Across vast plains
To mountaintops
And high above the big blue
To lands
Different from my own

Every new land I meet
Has a beauty
I hadn't known before...

I look upon these
Cold empty streets
Puddles showing the dim
Reflections
Of the stormy sky
In which created them

They mirror the
Soaking
Lifeless
Trees
That hang mournfully
For they have lost
Their beauty
And color
They mirror me

And like these streets I walk,
I am
empty
And
*peaceful

Don't feel sorry for me
And don't you pity me
I am a broken soul
But I'm not a dead one
I am a broken soul
But I aint done

You wake up in a cold sweat
Realizing its 7 pm
You wonder where the day has gone...

As this putrid
thought
Crosses your mind
It clicks
You're begging the day to speed by
..aren't you?
You think quietly
This day hasn't gone fast enough

You know this
Because it ain't blurring yet
You close your eyes
And let the world
Whirl by

The world turns
And churns
Tumultuous
Ravenous
Life creeps
Crawls
And yes even claws
I am but a stepping stone
I feed The Pulse
The Life
Indomitable
Unyielding
And forever
Growing
It is I
As I am It
So I shall creep
crawl
And yes even claw
My way through this Life

I was once lost
In the confines
Of my own soul

My heart inside out
And the world felt
Like it was
Every kind of backwards

But today
Will be different
I will put things
Rightside up
Whether you're here
Or not

And even if my heart falls
I will rise

And even if I lose my way
I will rise

And even if you blind me
I will rise

And though you don't love me

I will rise

What
Is the pit in my chest?
Numb to all emotion...
But....
An unmistakable
Unexplainable
weight is there...
I desire your presence
I feel it will drive this
Pain away
But as you near
It gains weight
I feel my chest sinking
And as my heart falls
Further
I seek you
Further

Until one day
I find myself soo deep
I cannot find my way back
To the your world

And now
Inverted
My heart pushed
So far
I am lost
In my own soul
I am lost
In my own mind

I know but one thing anymore...
I know you....
And that once
burning desire

One thing is left
That once burning desire
So curious I am
I cannot find reason not to
Grab hold of it
Once more.....

I fall
Indefinately
Lost in my own world
Where I will sink
Till I find
What I lost...

I would rather be
A broke man
Than a con...

I would rather be
A lover
Than a hater...

I would rather be
The bad guy
Than lie to you...

I would rather be
With you
Than without...

I would rather be
In your arms
Than hers...

Shining bright
The rising sun
Its brilliant rays
Piercing the clouds above
Like arrows of the divine
Shattering the darkness
Bringing light to shadow
And hope...
To those who need it

Look
Look at the trees and rocks about you
Relaxing
Enjoying the spring air

The clouds above
Looking upon you
With carefree delight
Disguised as dog or shoe
Or what will you see
In the clouds above

They're nothing but rain and snow
From winter now past

Like a raging river
Time seems to pass you
But all that matters is here

look

Trees
Rocks
Clouds
Just your kind of company

I shake
And I shiver
I'm cold and scared

When I feel your touch
So warm and soothing
My heart flitters
flutters

I wake
And see your eyes glistening
All is well once more
I'm in your arms again

Where does it lead?
That's always the question
Isn't it?

The conundrum
That befuddles us all
Where does it all lead

We all go about
Wandering till days end
Never finding a satisfactory conclusion
You'll go your whole life
Looking for one answer
All for one question
Where does it lead?

This choice
That choice
What's the consiquence?
All for such a simple
...curiosity

The one solution
The one demise

Good to see cats aren't the only ones
Who are slaves to its will

Curiosity

It seems we're all slaves to its twisted will

Love crashes
On the shores
Of my heart

It comes and goes
High tide
Low tide
But ever persistant
Dependable
And as gracious and beautiful
As the sunset

When low tides comes round
I will come to you
And when you miss me
High tide will come back to me

Your love crashes
On the shores
Of my heart

As the sun sets
And the stars rise
I look upon these
Twinkling and majestic lights
Truly noticing them for the first time
Its an experience one never forgets
And as I gaze
Upon this beauty...
I can't help but reminisce
Of the twinkle in your eye
As you said
"I love you"
An experiernce one never forgets