We sink ourselves in the debauchery
Because in the dark, we can't see ourselves;
Because it feels so ******* good;
Because it makes us feel something.
Sobriety is a crushing reality designed to be escaped.
It's about the danger of being a runaway;
The beautiful, ****** pleasure of letting go,
Casting off,
Leaving behind.
For just those few rushing moments we fly.
It feels like flying when you fall.
There is always a floor,
But all good must be weighted,
And we accept the price.
It is good to leave all things behind for a time.

If I told you what I really felt,
Would it make a difference?
Maybe to me,
Maybe not at all,
But definitely not to you.
Are there any words in all our languages
That could combine-
Any configuration,
Any grouping of sounds and meanings
That could grip your mind?
Words don't mean anything.
Words are useless.
Thoughts, emotions,
When will we become fluent enough to speak what we feel?
If I told you what I really felt, would it make any difference?
Not at all.

Why have I never gotten past you?
Even now, as you fade into the nether
of the past, I desperately try to
hold to the effervescent memories of you,
and as it slips through my fingers, I
feel the loss, loneliness, and yet-
I never want another.
I only want you.
I don't care:
what you've done
where you've been.
I just know that I love you.
That is enough. It is too much.
I know I will never love again, because
after you, all other love will be pretend.
I cannot have you; I will have no one
and the winds will blow my love across the sea.
I hope you feel it in the salty beach breeze,
feel it in the warmth of the sun.
I hope every time you get goosebumps,
you realize it is my embrace;
every birdsong is my declaration,
Every whistling wind,
a soft whisper.
I hope you know that even until time dies,
through the endless reincarnations,
I will carry my love to that end-
until in blissful Nirvana in ages come, we are one.

Because there are stars,
because there are cool winds rippling over mountain lakes,
because there are bird songs and blooms;
because you reflect in these things:
your beauty,
your kindness,
your gentle demeanor;
Because you bring hope like a scent where other women leave ****** perfume,
Because your teeth glint like alabaster and fill the room with a tsunami of joy when you smile,
Because your voice could melt the coldest man's heart-
           because your life is like a song I've heard my whole existence, always on the
           edge of my hearing, waiting to fill my being with its melody;
Because of all of these things, I know you are there.
I will find you, where ever you are.
Just hold on.

I think, perhaps, that I
may have been born for a different time
Maybe my soul rested too early
On an infant never meant to be me.
I look around, and it seems so strange,
People dig for shallow ore; I seek a deeper vein-
but those who skim the surface are rewarded
It seems like all my hopes are thwarted
by our reality, such a subtle thing,
that defines who we are by how we gleam
with gold and glitter, all so transient-
I think friends and memories are more significant
Everyone calls accepting this reality "growing older"
So you become less of yourself? Get lost in folders
and numbers and binders and paper; and days
are slipping by, as you're getting paid
For what? To own a house you never see?
Drive a nice car to a place you hate to be?
NO.
No, I say, this is a better solution:
NEVER. GROW. UP. That's my resolution.
****. Fight. Dream. While you're still young, retire.
Throw all your junk out and set it on fire.
Move to a place that you've never been.
Make friends, fall in love, and then do it again.
Never get settled; never set down your roots;
always try the new, and I tell you the truth-
You'll find you live richly with far less wealth,
and your life will have meaning-one you gave it yourself.

It isn't what we had that keeps me up at night
Those memories will stay with me
It's what might have been, but drifted away
All those things that will never be
There is a resounding finality to it
Sending chills down my spine
A chapter closed, but not fully written
A heart not fully mine
I long for you in the deepest night
when self-deception is not a choice
I'd like to say I'm over you
But I don't have a voice
The words choke up, blocked by some
burst of feelings in my throat
Closed eyes, the world is gone
I am on the sea, a lonely boat
Sailing away from you, and your world
I'll never come back home
Your face follows me across the blue
I realize it's all I'll ever know
I wanted so much more! you and I
We were what should have been
And I long inside the mystery
That will never have an end