rip my heart out darling
but first, let's order takeout.

you can be my fella
if I can be your gal
we can go to a speakeasy
and sneak kisses on the walk home
swell

pin me after class
I’ll wear your letter cardigan
so everybody will know
that we are going steady

pick me up in your porsche 944
we can go for a ride
put in your favorite tape (tenderness)
and we can spend the night together
rad

we could start as adversaries
like in every 90’s teen movie
but secretly we will fall for each other
until our relationship culminates
at the party
where the whole school
is getting down to B.I.G.

let’s be facebook official

you make me feel dangerous
not falling off the edge dangerous
safe dangerous
like climbing beneath the highway bridge to drink
40’s we bought at Edgewater Deli because they didn’t card
they shined their lights but they could never find us.

you make me feel uneasy
not frightened
a good uneasy
just enough so that my pulse becomes irregular in your presence
it races
like the time we were high and I spilled cranberry juice
at the super market
so we ran

you make me feel loved
not a lasting love
transient
as though at any moment you might flee

leaving me to feel everything alone

We are immobilized
veins thick
with toxins
brains saturated
with synthetic sensation.

Get out of bed
pill pundits.
Who do you love?
There is bliss without
a script.
Somewhere.

Look at yourself
****** harlots.
Now look in the mirror.
Is it a surprise that the same face
didn’t appear?

Stand straight,
sloppy sippers.
Take the flask out of your glove compartment
you can’t pregame life.

Come clean,
nicotine queens.
We say we do it
because we don’t care when we die
but I care if you draw your last shallow breath
before mine.

We are the machine,
**** fiends.
We can’t be fueled
by ten sacks
and melancholic
dead dreams.

I am envious
sober superstars,
of your greatest feat,
waking in the morning
and walking
on your own
two feet.

As soon as I saw the bottle of Prozac on your nightstand
I knew we would be
best
friends
forever.

I could fit into your life,
or your pocket
just don't leave me

it's all happening for you
                                   congratulations
             just look how far you have come
    
these are the best years of your life
                                                                                                                                          


                                                                                                                                                   why am I so alone

A homeless man asked me if I believed in god
I told him I was agnostic

Looking back, I realize that he was God
because everything turned to **** from there.

you came back for me
which is all I ever wanted.

but you were disappointed to find instead of my smile
a troubled face
instead of my eyes (which you loved)
sockets.

and then you realized what they really meant when they said
"she's gone".

girls like us

we are reckless,
delicate
riotous.

we are unpredictable

he will have his fun with girls like us
then
he will marry her
you know her
with the smile and the child bearing hips
and the pure voice
and the sweet demeanor that you hate to love

he wont look back
which will make you wonder
why he bothered with a girl like us


in the first place

take me back
to the time you dyed your hair purple
and we went to drum circles
and our whole lives were ahead of us

march fourth, twenty twelve
2:39 pm
you: i want you
me:  i'm yours

april eighth, twenty twelve
6:38 am
you: hey
me: you are awake
        but not answering your phone
        are you ok? how was your party?

I thought about us
and
just like that
my night was ruined

does that ever happen to you?

wear that dress that I like
to my show
you request

anything for you

play my favorite song
I demand
as though you wrote it for me
you didn’t.

when you do,
you will give me that look
that lets me know that you are mine

I’ll blow you a kiss
you’ll catch it
my invitation
to meet me in the green room
after the set

these are the recollections that haunt me

I can’t bear the thought of another
getting my look

and if you think i’m sending kisses
in anybody else's direction
you are quite mistaken

they are yours
and so am I

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm alone drinking a bottle of Captain 100
and watching Almost Famous without you
Happy Valentine's Day.

you ask
are we gonna be ok in the morning?

I wasn't going to be anyways.

there's some fight in her yet
after all you put her through

her eyes are dead but she's still breathing
her breaths are shallow but her heart is still beating
her pulse is slow but her mind is still there
barely

just to remind her
that there's some fight in her yet

there's a weight
on my chest

I can feel your foot
like a stone

lift it off
or press harder

in case I die suddenly
there is a playlist saved
on my computer
for the funeral

do not play it on shuffle

all I can think is how much you will suffer
when he breaks your heart

but maybe he won't
maybe you are one of the lucky ones.

the last place I ever felt beautiful
was in your arms

she flips a lucky
even though she never wishes
for anything

things to make me more beautiful
hair
teeth
lose 10 pounds

your skin is gold
                              to me.

next to you
                       i feel


                                                 tarnished.