march fourth, twenty twelve
2:39 pm
you: i want you
me:  i'm yours

april eighth, twenty twelve
6:38 am
you: hey
me: you are awake
        but not answering your phone
        are you ok? how was your party?

it's all happening for you
                                   congratulations
             just look how far you have come
    
these are the best years of your life
                                                                                                                                          


                                                                                                                                                   why am I so alone

I thought about us
and
just like that
my night was ruined

does that ever happen to you?

all I can think is how much you will suffer
when he breaks your heart

but maybe he won't
maybe you are one of the lucky ones.

there's a weight
on my chest

I can feel your foot
like a stone

lift it off
or press harder

things to make me more beautiful
hair
teeth
lose 10 pounds

you came back for me
which is all I ever wanted.

but you were disappointed to find instead of my smile
a troubled face
instead of my eyes (which you loved)
sockets.

and then you realized what they really meant when they said
"she's gone".