c: Poems

Jan 2016 · 273

Untitled

c Jan 2016

Untitled

dont talk about it
because when you talk
you make my emotions go high
but you're the subject that has me down
now please
dont talk about it

Nov 2015 · 297

Untitled

c Nov 2015

Untitled

have you ever got so scared
over losing someone
to anything
maybe death or circumstances
that you cried
even through
the person is still there for you
alive breathing and well?

but i am so scared
i’ll never see the face again
cause time goes by so fast but it seems like eternity
and then i get scared
that something will happen
today or tomorrow by night or by day
at any moment
'cause life is so fragile
like cup made of glass
and the only thing i’m certain of right now
is death

and i get scared ‘cause
no one knows when is it that we are going to leave
and i have this feeling
i am alive
now today at the moment
but i am stuck
and it makes me wanna die
but i don’t wanna die

so what’s the point of being alive
but not living
care
not caring
what’s the point of trying to redeem
when there ain’t a mistake?

i wanna fly
at least just for a second
but why do i want impossible things
over and over again?

Jun 2015 · 271

01:14

c Jun 2015

01:14

our love is this eternal summer-winter temperature
when it isn't a 100% low, it's a 100% high,
when we don't sink each other
we float together,
but more than that
the rush keeps the feeling alive and burning,
if you drown i won't save you
i'll drown with you,
and that's why we can't be together
we crave for each other so hard we fall each other apart,
it's a sad type of love but still
it's the only one we know,
we are both so broken
we can't mend each other,
in that way
we keep it going
in our own flow

Jan 2015 · 329

where when why

c Jan 2015

where when why

she passes into your life
promessing anwers
you let her in
suddenly you see
everything she gives you are question marks
as she walks in doubt
where when why would she go
step by step carefully hiting the ground
as the loud sound goes through the house
breath by breath
and i beg her not to leave

Jan 2015 · 294

she

c Jan 2015

she

thats what she was
the exact opposite of anything you could ever want
she standed 4 feets away from everyone
she thinks as deep as she feels
and yet she doesnt remember how it felt before it all happened
she still could wonder
and as she wondered
she created a new reality
suddenly all the lies became truths as she says it
but she is still falling
will she ever hit the ground?

Dec 2014 · 508

sweet but bitter

c Dec 2014

sweet but bitter

zeus woud be proud to have him
not even his self-sufficiency would win
sweet eyes and a glass of gin
baby you made me scream

shall we love
the ones that destroy
our hearts like a toy
and celebrate full of joy

or shall we hate
the ones that smile
at our broken and fragile
soul as a sparkle

but it's complicated
when they have both sides
thats why he colides
with me in my toughts

Aug 2014 · 2.2k

heavenly bad boy

c Aug 2014

heavenly bad boy

i miss you ironizing my princess side
you've capched me by your bad side
and that way you had me at my best and my worst
oh honey, i've seen your worst and i loved it
you are lonely as the night and brighter as the day
i could never leave you alone in any way
nothing capts me as you do
and you've shown me my heavenly side
you say i'm a sweet girl
yet you know i'm heavier than heavenly
you met me in a nomadic and complicated time and darling you loved me like that
i still remember everything about you
your passion for teather and your mad side
yet you were an iconic soul begging for love even when you didn't show that
you were bad, the badder boy i've ever met
you didn't fall in love -if you did fall in love- with my pretty face but my broke personality

now you don't give a **** about me
and you have me even in a sad mood
still yours
forever yours
and i dont wanna leave
never leave
because i have such a big affection for you
but even knowing this
you left

so fast as the speed of sound
and so tought like a stone
and even like that
i am still into you
forever and ever
waiting
for you

Aug 2014 · 373

to my darling

c Aug 2014

to my darling

nothing drows you more than feelings
nothing gets you more excited than teather
you can see the magnificent in absolutely every kind of art
but baby
who capt your eyes?
i've seen them spining on mondays
and i truly know how you hate this day
boy i wish i'd be your friday
i wish you wanted to see me on saturdays
and i miss you all week long
lover of the fantasy
i wish i was your favorite song so you wouldn't get me out of your head
i wish i was the kind of flowers you like
i wish i could peek at you all the time

oh lover of the dark,
i miss you so much
as exact as math
and i wish
you'd never fall in love with anyone else
but me

Jul 2014 · 290

A letter to the owner of my suicide.

c Jul 2014

A letter to the owner of my suicide.

Thank you.

I've been passing though all the ridiculous frustrations of all my life.
You are a part of it.
You never asked how I was feeling and I am pretty sure that you dont even know what I'm passing though right now because you're too busy making machiavellian plans to destroy my ******* happiness.
I feel alone and left by all the ones I loved the most and you dont have any idea of what is this and the big fault you have in it.
You make me feel like this all the time without even knowing it.

I fixed my personality just to make you proud and not become a problem in your life. But this is my goodbye.

You never tasted the real bad thing so every little mistake I make is too much for you.
I never gave you something to really care about.
I never did what all my friends did because I knew you would not approve but this isnt something you even think about when you start your ******* idiots fights, and all of my friends called me an idiot for never cross your line and I'm really sorry about that, because all I really wanted was to be free like them.
I'm sorry because all I wanted was to be the perfect girl for you.
And all I have in return is insignificant and exhausting.

I've decided to change completely. To open my hands and throw away everything you've always teached me just to be who I want to be.
I want to be bad. I want to live fast and die young. I want to taste the horrible things too. I want to let go of all the normal stuff in my life to be as unusual as I can be.
I'm tired. You'll always have something to complain about and I'm not in your game anymore.
I dont want to be good and I dont want to be weak.
You've always made me like this. You're always threatening me and making me play your stupid game. But honey I have nothing to lose anymore.
I'm not going to be stuck on your ways and I dont care if I have to die for that.
I refuse to live a life that is not mine and live to please someone who only sees the worst part of me.
You never told me I'm good even though I am. but when you opened your mouth all you had to say was about all the mistakes I made.
I give up on being perfect and I dont want to spend not even a moment listening to your ******* anymore.
I am really done by now.

Apr 2014 · 1.4k

blooming

c Apr 2014

blooming

Aphrodite would be glad to find him
Not even her ego would win
Nobody ever found a Diamond in a ring
They’re too hidden in streams
But only miners and jewelers can tell if a stone is precious or not
Would he dare to be mean?

Skies are jealous for not having him
Sweeter than the clouds and brighter as the spring
Heavenly side he throws to the Wind
Prefers to be free instead of screaming
Fresh is his last name
And it's the one i couldn't bring
And only between his arms is where i'd be blooming

Feb 2014 · 386

biulding myself

c Feb 2014

biulding myself

i was born with nothing
no special thing
no talent
no exactly way of going

so i built myself
learned as much as i could about everything
read books
also learned how to play piano
and today i can't contain myself

life is hard for that ones that weren't born so special
writing become an ability and now i do it all the time
all those feelings in poetry always captured me to the point that i can't even talk about
my biggest love came through words
and so did my life
i did it all myself and no one compares to what i've become to myself

Jan 2014 · 442

free spirit

c Jan 2014

free spirit

my soul got hit by a beautiful feeling
words turned into flowers in my mouth
feelings were like stars inside my soul,
which ones were sparkling at every move i did
my eyes turned into a glass which had the same colors as autumn last year
suddenly i got involved by a state of freedom
that i really don't know how to explain how it happened
happiness shined inside of me like fireworks
and that feeling felt like home for me
i finally discovered who i was
in the middle of the winter i was dancing like we do in those summer days
i missed so many things on my life and i finally got free of that
it felt like home was wherever my heart wanted to be
then suddenly i became who i am
and that freedom showed me everything
my wild side
my heavenly side
and once i knew that
i could finally see all those hearts around me
all those lonely souls who need help to become who they are
those ones who can see each others' shine
by their own way
without difficulties
without care
just the wind in their hair
just the wind in our hair
thank god, i found my people

Jan 2014 · 439

kinds of love

c Jan 2014

kinds of love

these kind of love that take the hole night
these kind of love which is stuck in your mind
these kind of love that don't need efforts
these kind of love we'll never taste
these kind of love that only lasts an hour
these kind of love that we don't know how to feel
these kind of love which is unreachable
these kind of love that keeps us up all night
these kind of love which gives us troubled minds
these kind of love that we can't explain
these kind of love that keeps us insane
these kind of love that takes the hole life
these kind of love that died in the middle of the autumn
these kind of love that only lasts by the summer
these kind of love that stays only in our heads
these kind of love that are only words
these kind of love that takes so much time
these kind of love that happens in a second
these kind of love which is kind and patient
these kind of love that are beautiful
these kind of love that are ugly and bad

love love love

that's all i've been asking for

Jan 2014 · 915

inconstant

c Jan 2014

inconstant

i don´t really know what i want. i have been with so many boys, with so many personalities, i got stuck in so many smiles, and i can´t understand why i'm always so alone. i don't know what i'm searching for, it seems like no one is good enough for me, i feel like i could never be happy with anyone, even if this person loves me and everything but i can't stand with someone for so long and i feel like i am the problem and i sort of am. i don't know what i need, i am walking for a long and dark highway where i can't find nothing but myself, and i don't know where i want to get. i am so confused about me, it seems like i don't even know myself. i look at the mirror i don't have any problems with what i see superficially, but when i look inside of me i see absolutely nothing, i don't know if i am happy or sad, i feel like i don´t know myself. i feel like i'm not being true with people, i feel like i've been drowing into a deep sea where the water is so black i can't see where i am, i don't know if i will breath again an in this kind of situation, no one can help me. how could anyone understand me when i don't? i live so lost inside my way that i can't even say what i want my future to be, i don't have expectations about me and nothing can change that, i have always been a confused girl, since i was a kid, even when i was a kid i could see my future in a mist where i didn't know what i was going to turn out to be. i am walking ahead but i don't know if what i want is there, i feel like at anytime i can just regret everything i've been doing and just walk back and maybe turn to right or left. i don't know where i'm going to take myself but i am not expecting nothing and i'm not sticking out with anyone because i don't think anyone can handle my inconstant way without getting hurt.

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