c - Hello Poetry

c Aug 2014

nothing drows you more than feelings
nothing gets you more excited than teather
you can see the magnificent in absolutely every kind of art
but baby
who capt your eyes?
i've seen them spining on mondays
and i truly know how you hate this day
boy i wish i'd be your friday
i wish you wanted to see me on saturdays
and i miss you all week long
lover of the fantasy
i wish i was your favorite song so you wouldn't get me out of your head
i wish i was the kind of flowers you like
i wish i could peek at you all the time

oh lover of the dark,
i miss you so much
as exact as math
and i wish
you'd never fall in love with anyone else
but me

c Jul 2014

A letter to the owner of my suicide.

Thank you.

I've been passing though all the ridiculous frustrations of all my life.
You are a part of it.
You never asked how I was feeling and I am pretty sure that you dont even know what I'm passing though right now because you're too busy making machiavellian plans to destroy my ******* happiness.
I feel alone and left by all the ones I loved the most and you dont have any idea of what is this and the big fault you have in it.
You make me feel like this all the time without even knowing it.

I fixed my personality just to make you proud and not become a problem in your life. But this is my goodbye.

You never tasted the real bad thing so every little mistake I make is too much for you.
I never gave you something to really care about.
I never did what all my friends did because I knew you would not approve but this isnt something you even think about when you start your ******* idiots fights, and all of my friends called me an idiot for never cross your line and I'm really sorry about that, because all I really wanted was to be free like them.
I'm sorry because all I wanted was to be the perfect girl for you.
And all I have in return is insignificant and exhausting.

I've decided to change completely. To open my hands and throw away everything you've always teached me just to be who I want to be.
I want to be bad. I want to live fast and die young. I want to taste the horrible things too. I want to let go of all the normal stuff in my life to be as unusual as I can be.
I'm tired. You'll always have something to complain about and I'm not in your game anymore.
I dont want to be good and I dont want to be weak.
You've always made me like this. You're always threatening me and making me play your stupid game. But honey I have nothing to lose anymore.
I'm not going to be stuck on your ways and I dont care if I have to die for that.
I refuse to live a life that is not mine and live to please someone who only sees the worst part of me.
You never told me I'm good even though I am. but when you opened your mouth all you had to say was about all the mistakes I made.
I give up on being perfect and I dont want to spend not even a moment listening to your ******* anymore.
I am really done by now.

c Apr 2014

blooming

Aphrodite would be glad to find him
Not even her ego would win
Nobody ever found a Diamond in a ring
They’re too hidden in streams
But only miners and jewelers can tell if a stone is precious or not
Would he dare to be mean?

Skies are jealous for not having him
Sweeter than the clouds and brighter as the spring
Heavenly side he throws to the Wind
Prefers to be free instead of screaming
Fresh is his last name
And it's the one i couldn't bring
And only between his arms is where i'd be blooming

c Feb 2014

biulding myself

i was born with nothing
no special thing
no talent
no exactly way of going

so i built myself
learned as much as i could about everything
read books
also learned how to play piano
and today i can't contain myself

life is hard for that ones that weren't born so special
writing become an ability and now i do it all the time
all those feelings in poetry always captured me to the point that i can't even talk about
my biggest love came through words
and so did my life
i did it all myself and no one compares to what i've become to myself

c Jan 2014

free spirit

my soul got hit by a beautiful feeling
words turned into flowers in my mouth
feelings were like stars inside my soul,
which ones were sparkling at every move i did
my eyes turned into a glass which had the same colors as autumn last year
suddenly i got involved by a state of freedom
that i really don't know how to explain how it happened
happiness shined inside of me like fireworks
and that feeling felt like home for me
i finally discovered who i was
in the middle of the winter i was dancing like we do in those summer days
i missed so many things on my life and i finally got free of that
it felt like home was wherever my heart wanted to be
then suddenly i became who i am
and that freedom showed me everything
my wild side
my heavenly side
and once i knew that
i could finally see all those hearts around me
all those lonely souls who need help to become who they are
those ones who can see each others' shine
by their own way
without difficulties
without care
just the wind in their hair
just the wind in our hair
thank god, i found my people

c Jan 2014

kinds of love

these kind of love that take the hole night
these kind of love which is stuck in your mind
these kind of love that don't need efforts
these kind of love we'll never taste
these kind of love that only lasts an hour
these kind of love that we don't know how to feel
these kind of love which is unreachable
these kind of love that keeps us up all night
these kind of love which gives us troubled minds
these kind of love that we can't explain
these kind of love that keeps us insane
these kind of love that takes the hole life
these kind of love that died in the middle of the autumn
these kind of love that only lasts by the summer
these kind of love that stays only in our heads
these kind of love that are only words
these kind of love that takes so much time
these kind of love that happens in a second
these kind of love which is kind and patient
these kind of love that are beautiful
these kind of love that are ugly and bad

love love love

that's all i've been asking for

c Jan 2014

inconstant

i don´t really know what i want. i have been with so many boys, with so many personalities, i got stuck in so many smiles, and i can´t understand why i'm always so alone. i don't know what i'm searching for, it seems like no one is good enough for me, i feel like i could never be happy with anyone, even if this person loves me and everything but i can't stand with someone for so long and i feel like i am the problem and i sort of am. i don't know what i need, i am walking for a long and dark highway where i can't find nothing but myself, and i don't know where i want to get. i am so confused about me, it seems like i don't even know myself. i look at the mirror i don't have any problems with what i see superficially, but when i look inside of me i see absolutely nothing, i don't know if i am happy or sad, i feel like i don´t know myself. i feel like i'm not being true with people, i feel like i've been drowing into a deep sea where the water is so black i can't see where i am, i don't know if i will breath again an in this kind of situation, no one can help me. how could anyone understand me when i don't? i live so lost inside my way that i can't even say what i want my future to be, i don't have expectations about me and nothing can change that, i have always been a confused girl, since i was a kid, even when i was a kid i could see my future in a mist where i didn't know what i was going to turn out to be. i am walking ahead but i don't know if what i want is there, i feel like at anytime i can just regret everything i've been doing and just walk back and maybe turn to right or left. i don't know where i'm going to take myself but i am not expecting nothing and i'm not sticking out with anyone because i don't think anyone can handle my inconstant way without getting hurt.

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