I have dreams................

It's just the nightmares that get me somewhere....

They all saw it...
No one knew the severity of it all though.
I broke.
My last string.
My last hope.
As far as i have climbed I am now falling a great distance.
So close to the top fighting so long threw the cuts on my hands and tears in my eyes I slipped on it all.
It all hit me at once again and again.
They watched me cry the tears i have hid so well for so long.
The tears they caused.
I broke.
My last string.
All my hope.

                                They all watched it...

My name is Rivers Kay Petitt...
You don't know me and I don't know you .
I have been threw a lot and barely make it each time.
70-80 little marks all over me
some deeper than others.
If you take your time to know me you'll learn that I'm strong.
Just  not as strong as i seem.
I break... I  cry...I bleed...
7 attempts but i pull threw sadly enough...
I'm a mess and i worry everyone will leave.
I don't mean it but i hurt others and feel  deserve the pain i inflict on myself...
You don't know me...
My name is Rivers Kay Petitt...

Unaware of my return i hear him laughing with his family
giggling with the two year old
so clueless that i'm here
I listen for a minute knowing how this goes
All i do is think and now I'm in love
I think of what we could be.
What we will be
I think of his laughter and how our family will look like him in every way
I think...
And think...
And think............................................................­.......................
...Now I'm in love...