she is so tired of words
for the first time in her life
she had so much to say
but now it clogged her throat
burning like bile
no definition is good enough
to swallow the sorrow

She no longer has to wonder
How it feels to lose the stranger
Who always stares back
In her mirror

she was born a half formed thing
holes in her soul
not enough effort left over
to raise her better
in her gasping wet breaths
she tried to be smaller
but only swallowed more
becoming lovers with her failure
missing the eyes and ears to know
she reached for an absent future
only learning later
she was made in the perfect shape
of their shame

her words make her feel like an imposter
the past makes her feel like a spectator
when he asks her how the family is doing
she wonders if she looks pretty enough
if it will ever be able to cover it all up
he doesn't bother to ask any further
and she gets her answer

you think it's cruel
how quickly I forgot
about you
and when I remember
to think of it
I think so too
if no one stays
it's a lifetime of
Object Impermanence
baked in by nature
but nurtured by others
including you

the shape of it shifts as we hold on to it, like water
it  f
        a
              l
                 l
                    s
                          throu­gh our f i n g e r s
while we blink it's shine from our eyes.

Tonight,
I've been made like poison;
Carefully measured,
Sweet and sour flavored.