One poisonous idea flowing underneath my skin
Injected into my bloodstream through a dirt syringe
Take advantage of, use and abuse me
Do whatever you want, I have no dignity
Crawling through gravel and spit
Swimming through of sea of *******
Infection spreads starting in my ears
Bringing light to my darkest fears

And now I'm gone

Living in a world with the image of hell
What becomes of me and you only time will tell
The work of sin, it's an easy trade
With the lies ive been told from the friends i have made

When apathetic minds lead apathetic lives
The views of Christianity destroy mankind
Regard for human life spirals down the drain
The world is rotting, rotting in its grave

The quest for *******
Results in mans extermination
Intelligence is lost
At life's cost

The fate of the land is in the demonic hands
Of ignorant men with catastrophic plans
The window to happiness is as clear as crystal
To solve any problem all you need is a pistol

I waste my time while I work
I waste my time while I play
I waste my time while I sleep
I waste my time while awake

I intend to die without...

To die without honor
To die without dignity
To die without valor
To die without sanity

A man born inside a cyclone will always spin
He walks a crooked path, smiles a crooked grin
A swirling torrent of energy
Unable to be controlled,... having no symmetry
****** down the drain and stuck in the well
He sees no difference in an utopia or hell
Pushes away, likes to keep his distance
Most will even question his existence
Such a strange being, what kind of world is he in?
What is he seeing through those crystal eyes and that crooked grin?
A tongue like a snakes and a bite twice as venomous
A vicious demeanor described as monstrous
A man of pure intentions and a strong will
But when born in a cyclone nothing ever stands still
A star has fallen and an angel lost its wings
The demons are calling and a siren sings
For a man born inside a cyclone
Throws caution to the wind
He's a crooked man walking a crooked path
With a crooked grin

I want to destroy something beautiful
An innocent child's stained-glass mind
Throw a rock through it
Watch it shatter and fall
I want to look into the face of Divine Greatness and ******* in its eye
I want to mentally ****** everybody in existence
Our minds have been ******
Since the dawn of civilization
Man is anything but civilized

We are Savages

Savages of a demented,
Macabre masquerade
Waltzing on roses
While the thorns pierce our souls
We stare into the face of all evil
We recognize its intentions
And welcome it with
Warm open arms

These empty eyes are being drained
By this evolution of culture
Reversing back to one-celled creatures
Front row seat to the never ending horror feature

The white ones get stripped bare
The black are killed and disposed of
Like the were never here

Make the same mistakes
Over and over again
Then your fear rapes
But you're so willing to slip it in

You drop down onto your submissive knees
Spew out ******* apologies
Your permissive mind leaves you vulnerable
Anything but invincible

Dream of a heaven so high in the sky
Dying to get there
Living in sin, don't wanna try to get out of the grave you dug
Of this Hell hole of despair

Welcomed this sensational feeling with all these horrific images
The selfishness of the world
The breath of wind blowing from its dead lungs
Is enough for anyone's self-destruction
While everyone idly stands by
They're dying inside
...The flies swarm
The urban hyenas
Collectively they feed on the dying breaths of all living things
Selectively they breed...they are the future...Can't you see??

I'm tired of this heartache
The burdens of the worlds
Bleeds through my veins
Everyday i hope for a change
But everything,
Everything stays the same

There's something i can see
But it's everything i can't seem
To face
From the flames of my hell
From the walls of my cell
To my eternal resting place

There's no joy
In my somber state of mind
I've lost all direction
I've run out of time

I'm falling down
I keep falling down
i search for help
There's no one around

It's come to me
I'll die alone
My life and my spirit
Drained from these bones

Living in times of decline
A world of decay
At night no stars shine
Crashing into the end of days
Blazing a trail to death
Leaving ash in my wake
Counting my every breath
It's my life to live and my life to take

Lying face down i'm ***** and defiled
I don't wanna be the cause of your smile
I'm not yours or mine, nor  man or boy
i don't wanna be your pride and joy

Gimme gimme this
Gimme gimme that
Gimme gimme drugs
Gimme gimme disease
I'm negative charged
Atom age beast

What's left to do? What's left to say
When I've got a barrel in my mouth?
Just look me in the eye with a smirk
Please just take me out

Lay waste to this body, feed it to vultures
I don't need a grave
The angels will fly over
and see there's nothing to save

Put an end to this charade
My blood won't rain on your parade
Ease the tension and unleash the beast
It's a 6 chamber, 6 bullet, 6 shot release

My life flashes before me
Traveling at demon speed
My blood will fly
And will wash me clean

there's a place up the road where the **** of this town meet
The city, is so *****, you catch infections from the street
The creatures congregate, their motives cloak and dagger
Occasionally, i can be found, drunk i  stumble and stagger

I can't breathe, suffocating in this poison town
A terminal social cancer from a carcinogenic crowd
Suffering melted skin from the acid rain,
Fried nerves from bullet burns shot through my brain

And you're polluting my eardrums
With your toxic verbal sludge
And your tarnished silver tongue
Is lapping up my blood

The names we have are meaningless
The things we say are emotionless
The actions we make are pointless
The lives we live serve no purpose
Labeled from our birth
Made to fit the mold
Eyes sewn shut we're ostracized
All freedoms sold
Declining civiliazation
Condescending to primitive beasts
**** another innocent victim
Use the body for our feast
We're all performers
On the devils stage
After the final curtain call
We're thrown back into a cage
Is this what it means to be free?
We're drowning in this cesspool
Called democracy

I immerse myself in literary marvels and self-loathed poems
Any brilliance found in my work ,
Is in the space between words and the gaps between the lines.
Silence is golden.
I survive by breaking the golden rule...

...I want to take you everywhere I've been.
To have you look through these eyes,
The filtered images through liquidized eyes
Accompanied by ghastly thoughts.
Come onto this roller coaster ride.
Battle my demons.
Try to win...

How long can i endure?
I've buried them so many times.
The zombies and ghosts travel in my shadows,
Lightly and ever so softly
Pushing nails into my brain.
Showing me picture shows of beautiful stories.
Stories of love and companionship,
And spirit crushing images of a slow dissipation of lives...

---- Welcome to my dementia ---

...The outer limits of a young boys mind
A ****** in a devirginized world.
Dancing on forbidden ideas.
Lusting for a sense of belonging and genuine companionship.
A world of electric monologues and synthetic laughter.
The well has dried up and i thirst,
I thirst for sincerity.

Pull the trigger and land the bullet
Into the mental membrane.
Punch a hole right through it.
Become the catalyst for a revolution.
Let the light in to melt the wax exterior.
To enable a freedom long since forgotten.

Let them breath...

Let them breed.

If i could do it all
Believe me, i would
If i could make everything better
Believe me, i would

Beneath these golden dreams
Lies an ugly reality

It's slipping away
And i can't function right
I feel worse each day
As i wake from the dreams at night

Are we torturing each other or ourselves?
Every day we keep putting ourselves through hell

This heartache is what we have and share together
With high hopes the soon we'll be one and forever

I walked across a tightrope
Balanced on a razors edge
Trying to cut a diamond
Out of an arrowhead

Its facets were ***** and murky
It shined underneath the crust
I cut and i carved and wouldn't you know
This diamond turned to dust

How long must I stand alone in this field of exclusion?
How long must I stand alone in this field of disillusion?
I see a mirage, a desert oasis
It's just a mirage and i know i can't escape this

Laying in the trenches dug only three feet deep
Lie the decaying corpses of the ignorant and the weak
Try all I may but i can't escape the stench
I see there bodies deteriorate as maggots consume their flesh

There's no life to be seen in this barren wasteland
Plant your seeds of life and love, plant all you can
Because in this field we call the Dead Mans Grove
You can plant all you want but nothing will grow

How long must I stand alone in this field of exclusion?
How long must I stand alone in this field of disillusion?
I feel a cold deathly wind blow through my bones
As I stare at this ghastly land that many call home

A starving sensation overcomes
Filled with desire
A thirst for change
Thirst for destruction
Thirst for fire

A bomb has dropped on humanity
Charred our moral integrity
Gotta find a cure, mankind is a plague
To our Mother Earth
If she could've predicted the future
She would have chosen
Abortion over birth

Why can't i do anything right
Everything i do just causes a fight
I can't see anything i can do to help
When in the end, I'm fighting myself

It's raining needles in my head

Thoughts keep racing through my mind
Seems as though I've run out of time
I've run out of words to say
Cat's got my tongue for another day

It's raining needles in my head

I'll take the next train that's leaving town
Won't let myself bring anyone else down
I'll drop out of sight, I'll never be seen again
I'll ride these rails 'til the very end

It's raining needles in my head
I can't feel them when i'm dead

I'm screaming at a wall
Speeding towards a red light
I want so hard to believe in everything
Everything seems hollow
It all has some kind of plastic exterior
Empty shells
I find it really hard to believe
In anything without substance
I'm running in circles
Never reaching any destination
I'm stuck in a rut
It's spiraling

Black...

White...

My mind is twisted
Contorted
Tied into a million knots

Spewing
W     a      n    d       e      r     i      n     g

It's uncontrollable
I'm wearing thin
I want to blow into thin air

It's a jungle
Hectic
Spiteful
Prideful
Wonderful

Destructive
Up the ante
Raise the flag

Living in an iron lung
Wasting away from the time of conception

Original sin
Born of chaos
Forged of chaos and destruction
The Annihilation man

Eternally, I'm yours
We only communicate through closed doors
Communication failure, what is left?
Anything to say? Another breath?

Will our love live to see another day?

Eternally, I'm grieving
I'm still broken
Having trouble believing
The words spoken

I gravitate towards you
Your beauty always radiates
Turn the grayest skies blue
And i cannot escape

...Even if i wanted to

Release me from this spell
Free me from this mental hell
How I'll never tell
Break me out of this shell

My personal demons are breeding
Spreading diseased thought
They're eating away my mind
I can't get out of these tangled knots

I lose myself in dreams
The closest to death i can get
With memories from a time long ago
With a pain I'll never forget

...If I can escape...If I could escape...

If you could find truth anywhere,
Let it be
In the words that expel from me
It's all i have left to give
It's all i have left to live

The colors are changing before my eyes
Turning red and orange under gray skies
As dull as life and as vibrant as death
I live on the thought of my last breath

The land is barren
Only the dead grow
Expanding indefinitely
In magnificent columns and rows

I'll take my rightful place among them
Not as a diamond in the rough
But an undiscovered gem

The world is coming to an end...imploding
Getting ****** into itself and I'm falling
I want the tranquility
Completely solitary
Floating through space with this
Chaotic harmony

Treasures are all buried and forgotten
Maps are lost and the bones are rotten

Crawl back to my cave where nothing can touch me
Invincibility is reality
Except for me, I'm in hiding
Can you find me?

The snakes creep up your body
Constrict around your throat
Into the mouth of the beast
Stealing your breath
In the bowels of the snake pit
You'll never choke

I've drank the blood from its mouth
I have received the serpents kiss

Just another day and i still feel the same
Trapped in my room with the demon in my head
The boredom sets in, give it to me again
Hit the devil's slopes one more time
Just one more line to speak...

"I want something better, something stronger
Something that will last longer.
What is it? What will fill this desire?
What do i need?
Something new and exciting to fuel this fire
Something new to bleed."

Same routine day in, day out
There's no escape or hope of getting out

The marks i leave, no one will see
No one will know the things I'll be
The things that i do, no one will know
No one will know the places i go
No one will know

There used to be a purpose
But its gone now
Used to be a reason to try
But its flown away now
There used to be something inside
Its empty and hollow now
There used to be something
Now its gone

Stranded in the desert sands of time
White as the devil's snow
And i ask for one more line...

"Let me have have that feeling of fulfillment,
Pride and accomplishment.
Before I die and perish,
Before i throw my life on this silver dish.
Just let me have that feeling one last time."

I'm not much of a man
If man is only as good as his word
The early bird gets the worm
But it only takes one stone to **** two birds

In my time i will build a chapel
It will only have enough room for me
If you could mend a broken person
All i ask is could you fix me

Its all gone away
Done that way
Not my choice to choose
Not my choice to lose
What i held so dear
To be removed
and succumb to fear

You look at me with disgust
As i inhaled that devils dust
But the boredom still remains
And its just another day

There will another morning
When there isn't
There will be no mourning
I'll be gone away from here
From what i held so dear

Again i ask for one more line
I promise i won't ask again...

"Please. Oh please
Just let me be forgotten."

So i survived another year
Another year since i was delivered into this wrecked world
What's there to show for it?
A few more scars, a crack in my heart from another girl

I'll chase down the day with a glass of whiskey
Maybe Ezra maybe Velvet
Two packs of smokes
Surprised i haven't got cancer yet

Another year to make more memories
Another year I'm left to wait
Another year I've survived
Passed my expiration date

We speak without moving our tongues
In volumes that will bust eardrums
In sounds that aren't meant to be heard
We convey emotions without saying a word

Do you feel this old friend
The familiar silence is back again
Or do you fear this old friend
The uncomfortable silence you wish would end

We're crying blood and tears
From expressions that ignite our darkest fears
Drinking the blood that flows from our wounds
As this silence drives us to our tombs

In this world without compassion
Everything seems to be broken
Where everyone shares the same expression
We remain silent but outspoken

I don't want any of this
Nothing more, Nothing less

The dead parade the city streets
I'm now ready to admit defeat

I just want a place to rest
Nothing more, nothing less

The human mind is a breeding ground
To the senseless chaos that's all around
There's got to be a way to destroy this machine
I can destroy anything, I can destroy me

I'll join the rest
Walk in death
I'll roam the streets with the rest
I'll march among the best

It's always halloween here
It's a lifeless community
Except there's no costumes, no masks
No tricks, no treats

Death is peace
Death is tranquility
Death is calm
Death is serenity

This is what i want
Nothing more, Nothing less

Under the darkened sky
Underneath the cellar door
Where expired death row victims fry
In a pool of blood on the floor

With the rest of my spinal remains
A trail of organs and dismembered brains

This is what lies in the subconscious mind
Awakened by the eyes of a special breed
Strong convictions to lies not, not of a blasphemous kind
As we watch the ideas bleed

This is what lies behind the cellar door
Would you like to see more?
If you can see through the tears
Learn to embrace the fears

Everything will be just fine once you're able to look behind the cellar door

To hell and back again
My permanent residence
Everything is so heated
It's all ****** up,...

...My choice i guess...

What else am i supposed to do?
Just swallow the poison?
Humor the idea
"everything is gonna be ok"

Sad state of affairs
This mess i got myself in
Point my finger at the mirror
Though it's not been spoken
We know where to place blame
...it doesn't need to be said...

I just want a release,
An escape.
I want the most magnificent illusion
"it's all gonna be ok"
...No cracks,
No flaws,
No imperfections

Until then...

I saw my friend the other day
He sold himself to the ARMY
I watched him as he walked away
Preparing to **** in a foreign country

We ran endlessly in circles
You always left me in the dark
Somewhere, sometime, somehow i happened
What the **** happened to the spark

I have no friends to call my own
Everything changes too **** fast
In the end i stand alone
I guess relationships aren't built to last

Everything just disappears
The friends that stood by my side
Are no longer here
They fade away
Fade away
Fade
Away

I can't carry the worlds weight on my shoulders
I'm the monkey and you're my master
You keep me chained to this ***** grinder
Turning the crank you're my biggest debt collector
How much do i owe you? I cant seem to remember

And I can't keep dancing
Picking up change that people throw
And I cant keep trying
To squeeze blood from a stone

Please can you spare some change?
Any amount will do
You and me we are the same
I'm a stranger just like you

I'm gonna purchase my ticket
Down at the liquor store
I'm gonna sail the amber seas
'Til i reach the floor

Baby please stop pulling these reigns
Can't you see that I've already stopped
You've sewn all of my seeds
And then you burned all the crops

Ending each night with lethal doses
Between the rubber hoses
And the ****** noses
Baby tell me how am i to pretend
It's all wine and roses

I traded all my dollars for
A hot shot in the rain
And you know you should never trust
A man who's wearing
A ball and chain

Just spare me a pittance
You can hold onto your pity
You know one of the days
I'll be a grease spot on this city

And if i died
Two weeks from today
You can rest easy knowing
I wanted it that way

I feel sick...trapped in this deadzone
No resources at my disposal, nothing to call my own
Stare at the landscape, reap the seeds i have sewn
King of an empty kingdom, I'll claim my lonely throne

Staring into the depths of a pitch black sea
I see the reflection of a defective human machine
Wonder what the hell happened to me
Curse who rejected and spawned this demon seed

Escape into the dark,
I'm growing weak
Tongues getting twisted
Get's more difficult to speak

The future is looking bleak
My future is looking bleak

Memories plague my mind, absorb into my skin
Repeated images of a life now lost, never coming back again
Memories plague my mind, starting a new life of sin
Images of a life no lost, never coming back again

Surrounded by people I've never felt so alone
This isn't where I wanna be but I feel I have no home
Light fades as I'm stripped of what means most to me
Darkness consumes my soul trapping me in this twisted reality

Smoke the cigarette, Drink the beer
Feel no pain
Smoke the cigarette, drink the beer
It's all the same
I look to the sky to find an answer
To try to find an escape
But the answers just bring more questions
Is this my fate?

Entranced with misery, fills my body with fear
Thoughts not foreign to me but none that I can bear
Singled out and forgotten by a jury of my own peers
As i pass out on a water bed made of my own tears


Smoke the cigarette, Drink the beer
Feel no pain
Smoke the cigarette, drink the beer
It's all the same
I look to the sky to find an answer
To try to find an escape
I finally found the answer
This is my fate

Everything's ****** and it's all gone astray
At least for just right now anyway
Go ahead and leave we know i can't make you stay
Left with the bitter sadness and its unforgiving embrace

And so here i sit with no company
In my lake of mistakes, i want no sympathy
If i should ever fall from you angelic grace
Then i'll drown in my shame knowing i lost this race

It's time to place blame, to point all our fingers
I'll point a gun aimed directly at the mirror
There's nothing left to feel, i won't make another mistake
I'll enjoy my last meal that's led me to break

Alone for the last time, loathing in self-pity
In my lake of mistakes, i want no sympathy
And if i shall ever fall from your angelic grace
I'll disappear and put myself in my place