When I was a little girl
Monsters used to sing to me at night.
They would stalk closer and closer to my bed,
With their soothing lullabies,
Waiting for me to fall asleep
So they could tear at my soul
With their nasty teeth
And swallow it, bit by bit.

Every night I tried to hear past them,
And listen to the angels outside my window.
They said they could protect me
With their songs about sweet dreams.
But when I did sleep,
The dreams were never sweet.
(Yes, even angels lie.)

In my dreams I stood by the sea,
Staring out over a cliff.
My tears would fall with the rain,
Until I jumped to an icy death.
I was murdered in a dark alley.
I was eaten alive by bugs.
I was drowned in someone's bathtub.
I was ***** by demons I couldn't see.
I was buried alive and tore off my fingernails
Trying to claw out of my own casket.

(Who the **** dreams this as a child?!)

I'm all grown up, and I know now that
The monsters in my life aren't the ones
That try to sing me to sleep.
The angels in my life aren't the ones
That lie about sweet dreams.

But even now,
With my half-eaten soul,
I never know what lies in the darkness
Or how I'll die when I fall asleep tonight.

I fell
Into a bottomless pit.
I crawled
And screamed to no prevail.
I threw myself
Into this volcano.
I’ll meet my fate
And burn.

What if you lost me to the other side of the Earth?
What if you were always the dark side of my heart?
We move in the same direction but we never meet
We only share mutual passion in our own heartbeats

What if you left everything behind
while I left everything forward?
Our shoulders touch and I turn away
Only to feel your hand guiding me back right under your face

What if you had left me die in my sleep?
You would stay alive, for me you would weep
One day someone else would come your way
You would reach for her hand and ask her to stay

It will be okay you say, it will be okay
For love to exist only in this fate
We wipe our tears to laugh out loud
Our misery is our eternal vow

We dance, fight, drag each other to the ground
The pain all over my body makes me aroused
As long as you are there I have someone to blame
We play the game of putting each other to shame

I am dead only because you are too
Look how much life we need to go through
Light another smoke, let this day burn out
Let me remember love the way I do now

crinkled love notes litter the battlefield that had
spread between us. and we are nothing now,
nothing but ashes and stone. you spoke in a
whisper too slurred to decipher and i swallowed
words too ridiculous to comprehend. and
papercuts line my throat from the nights i consumed
all your lies, like a child riding some sick, suicidal
carousel. and as it turns out, i’m delusional. lost
and oh so terrified of the dark because there
are ghosts, and they whisper to me, telling
tales of lost boys with beautiful eyes and
heavy smiles who want to be found (just once
more.) and i know there were faults and there
were breaks. but i swear we had each other at
goodbye.

because i’ve always been addicted to catastrophe;
and you were just the beginning of my end.

our promised land is mortgaged
waters poisoned
your daughters legs are spread
mass culture ready to eat her out.

she buys it all-
the gossip rags, fake tans, cherry-flavored condoms.
she aches for it and it takes her gladly
leaving behind only a faint scent of perfume.

blood nails and ******* lips and artificial **** carry on.
girls lose their virginity only because it's trendy
and people obsess over the human interest
pieces on the nightly news.

i lash out with coffee breath
and short nails and unkept hair
and no religion
as my mother sits me down and
asks me not to step on any toes.