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Dec 2013 · 1.1k
Asexuality.
calion Dec 2013
it's like everyone is making fun of you for never seeing a zoosla.
but when you ask what a zoosla is,
well, if you saw a zoosla, you'd know.
that is exactly what sexuality is like.
you have no idea what it even is,
so how are you supposed to know if you've felt it?
Dec 2013 · 3.0k
carnivals
calion Dec 2013
when i see you
i am transported to a summer carnival.
and you are the ferris wheel.
you lift me up and take me to new heights.
but you drop me eventually.
you always drop me.
but maybe the drop is worth it because
I get to be lifted by you.
{baby good night//gdragon and top}; {i got a boy//girls generation}
Dec 2013 · 622
loneliness
calion Dec 2013
loneliness is marked by tables built for eight
and still not finding a space.
by three-way conversations
and missed relations
by forgotten drinks
and ****** sinks
by not getting a bracelet
and not being invited to get wasted
by getting replaced
and being in the way
by long sleeves
and broken dreams
by relapsing
and collapsing
by not being included
and feeling secluded.
Dec 2013 · 591
pleads
calion Dec 2013
i'm a lot like a lost puppy
why have you left?
am i not good enough?
am i not being distant enough?
please come back please i need you.
oh dear god why am i not with you please.
please i need you.
please what have i done?
oh my god please i am so sorry.
please come back.
please.
calion Dec 2013
blades tear skin and they hurt less than you.

music gets repetitive and even on full blast is softer than the sound of your heartbeat.

alcohol makes you stupid but not nearly as stupid as you made me.

cigarettes and **** have strong smells but the smell is nothing like the smell of your cologne.

so tell me, what can I use to forget you?
Dec 2013 · 415
best trigger ever.
calion Dec 2013
b.t.e
best
trigger
ever.
i have given this title to three boys.
you are the third.
the first boy told me i should throw my blades away and then handed them back.
the second told me i should get help but stopped helping me.
and you, you told me i was perfect and then left.
Dec 2013 · 495
I used to say things.
calion Dec 2013
i used to say things like "you will be mine."
or, "you will love me."
or, "one day, you'll start to care."
but i am not the foolish young girl i used to be.
i know better than to believe in miracles or fairy tales.
maybe that's all we would have been; a fairy tale.
in real life the ugly commoner never even gets noticed by the perfect prince.
i have gotten noticed by you.
what makes me think that you cared?
you have an entire kingdom of girls better than me.
you and i would never work and it's a bit hard to understand that fact after believing in us for so long.
it's hard going from the top of the world to rock bottom and that's how i feel after losing you.
actually, no, i didn't lose you.
i still see you everyday.
i guess i just came back to reality.
Dec 2013 · 1.2k
do you care?
calion Dec 2013
he doesn't see what she thinks of him.
what every little word does to her, or how she hooks on to his every word.
how him being close one day and distant the next kills her.
or how her disorder is blowing this out of proportion.
does he hear her stomach rumble?
does he see the gashes on her skin?
does he care?
she thought he was immune to her disorder because of how clearly she saw him.
but then, he changed.
or did she change?
someone changed.
not even the strongest prescription glasses or hearing aids can make him care.
not even the strongest antidepressants or mood stabilizers can make her see that he does.

— The End —