i'm going mad, sylvia
  sylvia, save me
    from the psychopath
my writing's bad
  but i'm a scientist
    i won't lie, it's
true that my own
  words evade me
    and non-truths persuade me
i found a love, he's faraway, he
  loves me too
    but i'm a writer,
not a liar;
  i'm not someone he can call his
    in this
world or the next
  my writing's bad but i'm alive
    i'm getting sad but i can write
about it, i suppose
  sylvia, i'll be a crying rose
    that dies when the words rain
because water doesn't suit
  me
    but i'm a swimmer, i'm the rain
so words will always
  choose me

maybe I could drive away, drive my way
towards you
get past Tennessee
and through
watch the flowers die and bloom
maybe if I lose my mind—
come closer to the truth
maybe if I look for you
in mountains you’ll be carved into
them just the way
I always do—
you’re in my mind
you’re in my room
I see you in the phantom blue, I
fall I drown I look for you
I close my eyes, don’t wanna lose

I close my eyes;
the flowers bloom

i feel your arms around me in phantom form
i feel you here and it hurts me more, but
i embrace the pain in seeing
your phantom face
because i'd rather dream you up
than not have you at all
here in this lonely place

your aching lungs seek life—
is breath mist or is it smoke
from fire underneath your tongue
borne of words you nearly say
but don't
trust the fire—burn the leftover
sawdust in your mouth, don’t put it out
there’s stardust in your veins
don’t put it out

it's a deep blade
buried like a treasure
wade your way through to the heart but
mountains stop you every measure
every way
every chance you get
you take but i can't heal myself today
and i'm sorry

i say i miss you more
i see your face all etched
into my mind like mount rushmore
i say i miss you more but maybe
i've been missing my hometown or
the way i felt my cheeks flush pink
from sun i soaked in on the shore
i miss the heat, i miss the warmth
i miss the pretty things i wore
you noticed them,
i noticed more
i'm sorry i never talked to you
i wish i understood it for
myself