Renee Betlehem

Renee Betlehem Mar 2013

Echoes

i thought i heard a dog barking but the night was just larger in my awareness like a danger
the night was still silent
the gift of silence, never fully unwrapped
tiredness never enters, my mind decided long ago that wandering in the dark was my forte
somewhere between worlds
alive of course, but never really alive
time being flexible, sometimes full of nothing or else following thought after thought
echoes of thoughts follow
and feelings, drifting like scents on a breeze
living in the silence and the darkness is immortality, at least that's what it tells me, when i listen
not like the blood and heat
or the violent thoughts of daylight
some sort of suspended life, breath measuring the seconds with no other reference points
i imagine the sound in my head
thinking that breathing proves i'm alive
echoes of thoughts in the silence, echoes of silence in my thoughts, and i don't even see

Renee Betlehem Apr 2011

Untitled

I thought life would be easier after death.
Thought of peace and love and clouds;
I never thought I'd wake up in a shell.

I can see you up there
The still-human ones.

I would envy you but I think the ability is lost
It is more obvious now that you are predators
But we share your space without much notice.

Death is only a sidestep so forget the risks;
Life is yours for the living.

Renee Betlehem Apr 2011

Night

empty night.
busy mind pulling in all directions.
witching hr.
the time for study and creativity.
juices flow.
when thoughts collide.
people cry.
when secrets bite with bitterness.
sleep heals.
night brings out the crazies.
the ones.
who cannot sleep.
those who.
dare not sleep.
sirens blare.
dappled shades of noise and silence.
bright dark world.
shadows and spotlights.
must stay inside.
but rules don't make sense now.
must not talk.
to strangers but all are strange.
the ones.
who sleep now are strangest.
afraid.
hiding, pretending to be safe but only.
like a child.
with hands over eyes and eyes clenched.

Renee Betlehem Feb 2011

Vision

short-sighted vision
complacency
a dangerous choice.
prototypes in my mind
fill the vacancy
fill the silence.
silence the needs
pretend like i die tomorrow
but live like i died today.
motivation for desire
stays and wallows
in it's comfortable rut.
change clings to
concentric circles.

Inspired from random book quote: "Vision prototypes can be dangerous tools"

Renee Betlehem Oct 2010

Spring Shadows

Spring shadows spread beneath the eaves
Birds fight sweetly
Squabbling about love and plenty.

Love is such a strange idea
Never been taught
How to begin to love myself.

Am I ready for that?
Am I ready for a partner, lover, more?

It is the time for growth
Spring silence alone in the dark
Living, changing, moving forward
To something new

Renee Betlehem Sep 2010

Cyborg

Fractured black spaces
curved beneath my eyes
Fractal kaleidoscope
black sand, dust motes
Floating information

A touch to the cobweb
no - just a breath
And dark becomes light
light becomes colour
And my life flashes - as they say

Whatever I breathe is there
inside. I only see
What I want to see
and I bathe in my light
While all other worlds spin

Around the stars
As they've always done

Renee Betlehem Sep 2010

Space Elevator

a tiny anchor, barely a fish hook
moors me to the surface.
light as sunbeams i float
in the darkness.
float above everyone but it's
never far enough.
dreams follow me but many
had to be left behind.
life carries on once
the dying have gone.
of course we're all dying
and i was just dying to leave.
i sleep in the void
see my dreams before me
and below me. i wake
to check if i'm still alive and
i'm not sure why i'm surprised.
i'm not the first, but there was only
a few before me.
perhaps they will fill my dreams
with life and let me wake
in a new world.