renay esquivel

renay esquivel Nov 2016

11/6/15

i love how i felt w him, i loved how he kissed me and i loved his smile
i loved the way he would roll his eyes at me when i was messing around and the stupid little bed time stories he would tell me so i could fall asleep
his voice. my god his voice. and the way his body was because i felt comfortable w him.
i love his eyes and looking into them and i swear to god mine were brighter when with him. and i smiled a little bigger and laughed so hard.
i love the way he could make me laugh and made me feel comfortable.
comfortable to be myself and accept me for who i am .
but i hate that it was so easy to fall for him. i hate that it only took two months and that thats all our relationship lasted.
i hate that i was the one to mess it up. i hate that all it took was one time for me not to know how to help him when he needed me .
but most of all i hate that i love him.

renay esquivel Apr 2016

sorry

i didnt even like you that way
i was only being nice
but then you went and made it into something
and i was trapped.. and i tried to leave but it felt wrong
so i gave you a chance but even that felt wrong
i knew i would hurt you but i was being selfish, taking you back for my own benefit
i knew it was fake but what did i care as long as i had someone there
we were two different people and i knew it would end
you had to be the one to do it this time
so i acted different and you saw
you say i dont care but i do
just needed a way to break you
i loved him, it was never going to be you
but he is gone and so i used you
but as the days went on i wanted him more..
im sorry for treating you the way i did
im sorry that it wasnt you
im sorry that it had to be that way

renay esquivel Dec 2015

Mr. Bad Boy

i was dancing with the devil
swirling round and round

then you kissed my lips
and my heart was yours.

and i started to fall for you.
deeper and deeper

you took my hand and said
"ill never let you go"
but it was all a lie because
you did let me go

and i didnt have a choice
but to accept your wishes

so i let you leave and
you took my heart

now im sitting here
with an empty chest..

you said i was too good for you
and that you are a bad boy

well Mr. Bad Boy,
you knew i fell for you

you didnt think
to even catch me

as i went down
i hit the ground .

now my whole body is shattered

renay esquivel Dec 2015

You

But do you feel the way that i do?
Do you mean it when you say i love you?
Cuz X's and O's on a paper could be fake ,
and baby i hope i didn't make a mistake.

renay esquivel Nov 2015

What do i do?

I fell for you
and you knew
a hard fall too
but then you left me
and it hurt for a while
until i met someone new
and now youre back ,
having me thinking
"what do i do ?"

renay esquivel Jul 2015

4th of july

pulling up , i couldnt breathe.
whenever he is around its like my body shuts down
and i dont know what to do..

i hugged him and suddenly remembered all the times i used to feel his arms around me wrapped to lovingly.

she was standing behind him . too close for my liking . but i still smiled like everything was okay
but im never okay

renay esquivel Jul 2015

its over

i had to stop trying bc i found my one, i just wasn't his.