I've been dreading this day for quite sometime
The day you finally push me away
Leave me behind to rot
You didn't deserve what you got
Possibly a sharp slap to the face
It's all my fault
And I couldn't be more sorry
Now I'm lost and wandering
Because I don't know what to do without you
You must have forgotten that you are my everything
That you're the reason I'm still alive
But now you're gone
And you're probably going to forget what we had
You just kicked me out of your life
Just like everyone will do eventually
Don't worry
I'll get used to it

Your skin is stained with scars of your own doing.
Your makeup runs down your flushed cheeks.
You've tried to escape from this world full of pain.
But each time, you've been saved.
By someone who wants you to stay.
Someone who loves you.
There's someone watching over you, someone I don't believe in.
Telling you that you need to carry on.
So stay strong and keep marching.
And I will be here to catch you, when you trip and fall.

As I down this bottle of pills
You're the only thing on my mind
As blood drips from my skin
You're the only thing I'm thinking of
As I skip another meal
You're embedded into my brain
I can never stop thinking of you
No matter how hard I try
My head always seems to find a way back to you
Just like my heart does
Every single time

I hold a cold blade in my hand
As tears fall across my face
I hold it against my skin
And take a deep breath
"I'm sorry." I whisper
As I start to draw blood
These cuts form letters
The ones that spell out your name
I need to keep this a secret
So, I won't tell you
That your name has been engraved in my leg
Ever since the day I started to miss you

I know my writing makes me sound sad
Maybe even suicidal
But this is how I hold myself together
This is how I stop doing something bad
I'm sorry if this makes you upset
Or if it makes you hate me
I just don't know how to write happy things anymore
I'll stop if you want me to
I'm so sorry

I want you to go away
I don't want to hear about your problems
I don't want you to say, "I'm sorry." a thousand times
I don't want to tell you anything that's going on
I'm sick of you
I'm tired of hearing the same old thing
I don't care
I  really don't want to talk to you
I don't
I don't
I don't

You should know
That I'm not just going to leave
After you confessed your secret to me
You should know
That sometimes
I forget I have messages piling up
You should know
That I don't think any less of you
Or that what you did was satanic in a way
You should know
I'm still your friend
And I'm not going anywhere

You cry to me about all of your problems
I try and help the only way I can
By telling the truth
Your problems aren't that bad
No one has died
So, a guy doesn't like you
Big deal
Trust me, I have bigger problems
So, now you're done?
Alright
Fine
I didn't need you anyway

"Do me a favor?" I whisper, my voice harsh
"Anything." you look up at me, tears in your eyes.
"Catch me"
I lean off the slippery bridge rail
I can hear you scream my name
Far above me
I crash hard into the sea
The cold water engulfs my body
I try to breathe and the liquid invades my lungs
Weighing me down like chains
My body grows heavy as the icy waters numb my nerves
My consciousness slowly fades
And just as fast as I fell
I'm gone

Swallow the pills
Slice with the shining silver blade
Silence your screams
Say goodbye

Would
You
Still
Think
I'm
Beautiful
If
I
Sent
You
A
Picture
Of
Myself
Covered
In
Cuts
And
Scars?