bundled up in a sadness soaked blanket
hating every inch of my existence
wishing that I had more Nyquil
so I can sleep for a few days
and maybe not wake up
-

Secrets I must keep
Secrets I do hide
All of these are locked away
Never to reveal themselves,

Not every secret is necessary,
But I've grown a habit
Of telling nothing
Not even trivial things.

From this grew a mask
One I was unaware of,
People don't see me
They see a falsehood

I must tear this mask from my face
Free myself
Breath,
live --

But old habits die hard,
And I sink back
Away to where it's safe,
Where I'm nobody

What I am will be a shock,
It's time to cast away the veil
And let this world see
I'm nothing like they thought I was.

My eyes swell with tears,
How could this be?
My cheeks glisten
As the silver drops fall

Cold chalky eyes,
They look at me
They look thew my eyes
Into my soul

But why?
When did this red fill the room?
Who could have done this?
The one I love breaths no more.

My knees give out
And I fall to his side,
I touch his face
Leaving marks like war paint,

My hands,
When did they become so red?
And this knife,
How long has it been by my side?

Wrap the cord around my neck
I'm so pathetically sad when no one calls
mostly I just want to make you waffles and watch you eat them on the blue carpet in the kitchen
because after that you can kiss me
and I can pretend that my heart doesn't hurt everytime I look into your eyes at night
thinking of the end.

Please peel the skin from my bones and kiss my rib cage
you can bite my lip off if you want,
at least then you wouldn't have to listen to me talk.

The colors fly in his eyes
Colors that I cannot see,
But he tells me they are there
That each one is right in front of him

I reach out to him
Taking his hand in mine
What brought him to this?
This place so dangerous and low.

His glazed eyes find mine
And we hold for a moment
A smile illuminates his face
All I can do is smile back

This walk in the woods
Was meant to be sweet,
But now I sit here beside him
Holding a cloth to his head.

He brings up a little mushroom
And stares at it in wonder,
How could such a little plant
Hold so much destructive power?

He didn't even see it
The rocky drop that took him down,
Fractals blinded his vision
And I was left to watch in horror.