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 May 2014 Reilly Cole
Vivian
get on your knees; this position, supplicative and ******, is one you will come to own over the course of lovers both male and female and religions both Christianity and Islam.
you forgot what it was like, always being different; you were the only nonwhite kid in church for well over a decade, and when you urbanized, finding a new, ethnically homogenous clique to call your own, you thought you were Home.
then he kissed you, and your sexuality fractured into a thousand tiny pieces bearing the cool pressure of his lips against yours and the flavor of Burt's Best Bees Lip Balm and the acrid aftertaste of Godiva Dark Chocolate.
you haven't felt so alone since your kindergarten years, and yet-
You Are Free, for the first time in a long time.
I couldn’t love you more I loved you before the ocean was blue an ocean of emotion what about the
Time at Disney’s rivers of America we were setting in the River Bell and you invited the kids from
Melbourne to watch the show with us there was three girls’ three boys about eighteen they told us how
At the motel there wasn’t a shower curtain and they took a shower and the flood it caused it ended with
Cheerful down under good bys but the unknown haunts us there parting words were in a few days
We’re going to New Orleans they timed it just perfectly with Katrina we have no way of knowing about
Their Safety and the time the doctor said she thought you had cancer you were standing before the
Majestic gate how black the bars were on this side the shadow that it made but through the darkness
You could see how bright the bars were on the other side all was a blaze nothing ever was witnessed like
this before such clarity interesting as if logic was fine tuned things burned into your knowing with the
Warmest glow all was showing and bestowing it secret wonders you came back from the brink all added
To love’s undying flame then the time we ate at the happening place the Crazy Horse the same year
As Urban Cow Boy although it was southern California and it is west it was like we walked into Texas
Every Yuppie for miles was there dressed to the hilt in western wear it had something for a little kid
The next day we went to Knott’s Berry Farm we brought food from the Crazy Horse so we just set at the
Barbeque picnic tables I was eating steak but the fun was eating the purple onions the little kid was just
Young enough to be fooled what a face he made as I ate worms what fun you had then in southern
Florida we went to Wolf Man Jack’s club a great Ferris wheel out at the side of the building we listened
To Dell Shannon I guess we should have prayed and not just listened shortly thereafter he took
His own life but the knight was old time Rock and Roll and someone threw in the song Bogey and Ma Call
Because Key Largo was so close lower the black curtain of night it’s time to have those throw away
nights that were without price but in my eyes your stature grew on the night we walked on the sands
Of Waikiki and the sea turned from turquoise blue to blackest black with the fringed waves in whitest
Magical white and then we strolled among the Hilton Garden with the burning torches you swayed as
Well as any Island girl and caught the rhythm of the sawing palms over head but as you know day
Follows night and what a sight you made in those red shorts just above the knees and that white shirt
The only way it could have been more perfect if it was a man’s white shirt and you had tied it in the
Front don’t worry I said a little prayer that night for imagination your heart beat took control the
Softest island breeze we were there but we were where all lovers congregate either Rome or the French
Country side among wine vineyards or the burnished sands that Valentino gave love its signature look in
This place of empty space silence hits a cord most adored you hear that single sound of wind hitting the
Walls of the greatest tabernacle the tabernacle of love in your love ones company maybe you can’t
Identify it but your spirit knows the rolls upon rolls of interchangeable wonder that we know you were
Asleep the other day I set and watched your gentle breathing it made my heart beat stronger because I
Know the gentleness of your soul and all the kind acts you do for others and the reason I’ m writing this
It is your birthday so for them and me Happy Birthday my love
 Oct 2013 Reilly Cole
wounded
i am an assemblage of broken promises and abandoned dreams, of bruised tissues and faulty organs, of poisoned blood. i am part sky and two parts ocean, the moon clings to me and i to it.

i am concealed by a sheath of milky skin, a sad and slow smile and fading eyes. i wear my clothes like a suit of armor, hiding behind cotton and polyester as if they make me invisible. i am not strong, nor am i wise. the years have taught me this time and time again.

i fall for cheap escapes and bright lights even though i know i will soon hold them accountable for my impenetrable sadness. i have built walls, brick by brick, until my body became an enchanted fortress. there is a moat around the circumference of my heart and be warned the alligators are trained to ward off trespassers.

i am the past that i cling to and the future that i fear with every ounce of my being. i am fleeing every place i ever step foot upon. see me now.

now i am gone.

— The End —