My emotions are frozen, in a block of stone
untouched by time, or people filled with hate
Love, hope, joy, rage, sadness, faith, kindness
None of these are at my command, forever lost

Out of sync with my feelings, no way to get back
hopeless, loveless, unable to feel anything
Im sick of these missing emotions
even though i know no different

I cant stand this emptiness inside my heart
i cant love anyone, no feelings come forth
when i think i love someone, they leave, and im the same
untouched by their absence, indifferent to the pain

Over this gaping wound, this slit wrist, a noose hanging
Pills spilled across the sink, a bottle of poison lays empty
I feel nothing over my absence, no emotions bubble forth
until im on the floor, covered in red, laying in blood....

fear.

I flood of memories race through me
reminding me of my foolish behaviour
A wave of agony rushed over me
bringing me from my drunken stupor

I remember a night, filled with bad decisions
I lust after someone i shouldnt have
and we kissed, i kissed him and he kissed me
but he still finds hes straight, what folly

But i pushed him into it, without a word uttered
he lent in and so did i, until we were locked together
At the lips is where we met, something i doubt ill forget
An amazing kiss and a bottle of wine later

He had to leave and i was upset, happy about the kiss
He will regret his decision to lean, to kiss and hold
His actions were strong, drunken and bold
He needed a release and there i was, right in front

With this being said he lent in first, yet i went along
as if i didnt know better, granted we were drunk
and out of our minds, it doesnt matter, im filled with shame
I dont regret kissing him, i merely regret meeting him

It was a mistake on his part and mine
Hes not okay with it, but me, im fine
i will make it up to him if only i can,
in 3 more days we'll be kissing again

I am someone though a stranger to you. I’ve got no self-control
I’m sick of the **** and of the pain, crying myself to sleep each night
My days of worry and terrifying nights of fear, what about not knowing if I’ll wake up?
How would you feel, if you knew that tomorrow, you might not get out of bed?
You’d feel wretched; you would cry and break down on a daily basis, wouldn’t you…

I shouldn’t care, I know that much, I shouldn’t cry over these little things
But it does get to me, it does hurt, wait, I’ve decided I won’t put up with this ****
I’ve got no self-control, don’t mess with me, I’m a scary person don’t anger me, a modern Hulk
Fangs and claws, ripping my soul and mind to shreds, changing me into another person
Someone none but you know, he did, but he lost me and I have you, calm me please….

See these marks, these hideous marks; you caused this monstrosity, now it’s a constant reminder
Memories of horror, you created me as I am, you hurt me that deeply, and I took a knife to my flesh
A searing hot burn, a blistering, all because you couldn’t stand me, you didn’t want to be alone
You did this to me, you did it all, you made me fall so far, you attention seeker, but I don’t hate you…
I thank you for this, your fault not mine for creating me as I am, I can now hurt you, with no guilt
Now dear child, reap what you sow, bear this burden, and suffer the consequences of your actions

With everything how it is, as it is
Now it is how you wanted it to be
I'm at a loss as to what my choices are
A creation of unnessasary confusion
Over an unimportant arguement

With nowhere to go, neither forward
Nor backwards is the right way to go
A broken relation, deflated elation
My shattered hope, crushed beneath
Your petty ego, with your spiteful persona

Keep it up you deceptive wicked witch
You won't get very far, with sizable anger
I'll scream in your face, till blue rains down
Everything is ruined, you still wear your rusted crown
It will fall and so will you, neither king nor queen

By your side, hateful glares force me away
Outside the wind blows cold, colder than
Your frozen, frosted heart, icy mists drift
A sharp nail, with a tear and rip, red flows
Freely I breathe, but only now does it count

Our now fragmented family, lies in ruins
A small hammer is all that it'll take
To fix this broken phase, an opposite
Not doing its job, breaking down the walls
Rubble underfoot, crushed harshly like

Icy dry wastes, with cracked bergs
And freezing lies, cold winds blow
No protection from your frozen fury
Nothing to do now but cease and desist
Honest to god, nothing is worth it anymore

While The World Is Turning
I Am Learning
To Be A Better Man

While The Sun Is Bright
I Am Right
On My Way To Greatness

While The Ocean Is Flowing
I Am Owing
My Family My Life

A Man With Broken Wings
Yet A Classical Smile
Splashing, And Crashing
Dancing All The While

A Long Lasting Toot
And Bright Golden Peach
Seeing The Future
Its Just In My Reach

With A Snazzle And Clang
Looking Upon Sunrise
Magical Colours
With A Fatal Surprise

A Lick Of Blue Flame
And A Sparkle Of Gold
The Man Disappears
Face Bright And Bold.

Incandescent Flame, Rope Burning Through
Tightened Noose, Tears Dripping Down
Bottled Death, Child Lock Undone
Thin Metal, Racing Over Flesh

With These Words Written, The Child Lets Go
Of His Life, To End It Is a Tragedy
Such A Bright Future, If Only He Had Seen It
He Might Not Have Ended It All, If Only

He Bled Night And Day, High From Pills
His Only Way Of Escape, Was Poisoning His Body
Pumped Full Of Drugs, He Stumbled Into The Night
With A Dizzied Mind, And A Cough In His Throat

He Grabbed The Noose, And Tied It Tight
Placed It Over His Head, As Tears Fell To The Ground
One Last Puff Of His Cigarette, Before Dropping It To The Floor
He Breathed Out The Smoke, Then Fell Forward.