rey - Hello Poetry

rey Aug 2023

a first.

my eyes were opened
a genuine development
of a feeling i had only
heard about from others
i pretended time after time
to feel this feeling
but what i felt was a fraud
i did not know what
was wrong with me
or if i was incapable
of truly experiencing love
finding you was
the first time
breathing felt easier
and living was worth
being around for
but now that
i’ve experienced it
i will never be able
to lose you
or i will never
breathe again.

rey Aug 2023

mirror mindset

i don’t feel the need to impress anyone
living life worrying
that people won’t like me
will not hold me back anymore
i’m simply who i am
despite the flaws, imperfections,
and whatnot
and if anyone tries to bring it down
they simply will only fail
i am who i am
i see who i am
i love who i am
and i don’t care if you don’t
the mirror only reflects to me
what exactly i am to be.

rey Jul 2023

simply growing

i was a small seed
pushing my way to the surface
ready to take on the world
my motivation unmatched
eager to see what’s above
after the warmth of the sun
and the refreshing chill of the rain
my leaves began to grow
they grew quicker than the others
once the day fell to night
an intruder from the field
picked those leaves
right from my stem
****** on the blooms
spit on the soil
and gave my growing body
and nice stomp with his boots
the night felt much longer than the day
the day i spent hiding my damage
fixing my rotting leaves
with energy and light from the sun
but once the sun left
there was nothing to stop
the terror of the night.

rey Jun 2023

tearing me away

i loved you more than anyone
i watered and adjusted our love to the sun
i watched it grow and blossom
and it only kept growing
it filled the blank spaces
it filled the emptiness
it was comfortable and safe
it was complimented and made sense

suddenly you stopped watering it
it never grew the same
i tried so hard to keep it alive
i tried to hard to make sure it was okay,
but without you it wilted.

i think you realized it was dying
you started giving it more attention
you started to try and find the right light
you bragged about it to your friends
you did everything you could.

why would i water it
why would i let it feed off my air
why would i let it occupy my space
why would i let it consume me,
when you let it die in the first place.

now there’s a hole.
in my space.
in my mind.
in my heart.
you stopped, i stopped, it’ll never be the same
unless we both care for it again.

rey Mar 2023

soulmate.

it’s quite funny
nobody else exists when i’m around you
i don’t look around to see who notices me
i don’t try to spot pretty faces in crowds
the prettiest face is always looking right back at me
holding me, loving me, telling me sweet words.
i’ve been an attention ***** from childhood
fatherless and filling that void was my focus
i ate it up, it fueled me, it gave me purpose.
i’ve forgotten it because of you
the only person i want to see me is you.
i’d tear my eyes out if i’d never see you again
i’ll never want anything more from you
but you.
you fill that void, you’re the missing puzzle piece.
i’ve searched for you my entire life
shoving worthless people in to feel complete.
somehow i stumbled upon you accidentally
the pieces merged together and my eyes opened.
you complete me, fill me, shown me what love is;
i’ve lost that filter of being able to hold the tears
they stream out when i remember the abundance
of love you’ve given me when i needed it most.
life without you was nothing special:
eat, sleep, breathe, cry
—quite pathetic and never ending.
how did i manage to find you?
i’ve begged God for you.
i’ve asked what made me unworthy of love.
why i’ve been given dud after dud.
only pain came from my relationships.
every time you tell me how you feel
how you love me
how you crave me
how you’ll **** me
how you’ll hold me
how you’ll comfort me
how you’ll marry me
i yearn to tell my younger self to be patient.
if only i knew you were out there
i’d stop letting my body be used
i’d stop letting them hit me
i’d stop throwing up to be skinny
i’d stop starving myself
i’d stop cutting my wrists
I’ve cried endless tears waiting.
but the only tears i shed for you
are nothing less than formed from our love.
as much as i wish i could tell you this,
i’d never be able to get the words out.
therefore, i’ll write them,
and hope you love them as much as
i love you.

rey Dec 2022

remembering that feeling

so many failed relationships and experiences
that fall short of my expectations,
but you remind me why i put myself
in these situations in the first place
i like that nervous feeling before a first date,
i like that anticipation of a first kiss,
the tensions between our eyes,
the hands making their way across each other.
you kiss my head, my neck, my arms, my stomach
and it’s complete euphoria with you.
you **** me like you love me
and i honestly couldn’t ask for more.

rey Dec 2022

it’s one hell of a vicious cycle

but there’s not a chance i’d change it