I don't believe in ghosts
But recently I've been looking at dead people's profiles on Facebook
And that's about as close as you get
To the dead wandering around
Trying to interact with the living
I watched the end of Thelma and Louise again
And I always get confused depressed and scared
As to why they decide to die even when Harvey Keitel
Is running after them waving his hand in the air
Don't they realize that once they're burning
At the bottom of the Grand Canyon
There's not gonna even be a ghost left
Because Facebook hadn't even been invented yet

I tried making these
Carmel Apple Martinis
They ended up being these sort of milkshake type sickly drunk making frankendrinks
Which I suppose is appropriate for Halloween
My roommate and I walk around the neighborhood drinking
And checking out the kids in their costumes
We make self-aware ******* jokes
But we really just miss being kids

Our friend picks us up in her car
She is wearing a shirt with stars on it
She says she is dressed as space
My shirt is blue so I say I am a wave

We get to a mutual friend's apartment that he has decorated
Him and his not girlfriend anymore (are they *******?) are sitting
On the couch drinking *** and coke
And eating cookies
They offer us ****
I don't want any
My roommate eats an edible
I can't stop making jokes
I'm having a hard time
Entering into real conversation
His not girlfriend anymore (are they *******?) is dressed up like a unicorn
She is dressed up like a unicorn but looks like an eighties gym mom who farts streamers and found
A funny hat to show her unenthusiastic teenage son
I tell his not girlfriend anymore (are they *******?) this but
Although she laughs
I don't think she thinks
It
Or me
Is funny
She is probably a little hurt
In a childlike confused way
As if I reached into the secret womb
Where she hides her fetal self
And gave her the finger

We end up at this bar where my face drifts perilously close to this drunk girl i'd met before's face
This drunk girl I'd met before keeps showing everyone her right breast and giggling
But then she frowns and says her friends abandoned her and looks like she might cry
Then her face lights up and she says there's this special place she wants to take us
But I don't want to go and she frowns again and wonders how she is going to get home
I tell her that this is the second time I've met her and also the second time I've seen her ****
This drunk girl I'd met before doesn't seem to hear me and moves on to my friend's face

My roommate wants to leave because the edible he ate is making him pale
And afraid to talk to people
So we take a lift home and I'm vaguely annoyed with the evening
And I feel kind of sad like I'm missing something that I never really had
Or like there was a moment in my life once where I could've really been happy
And I was distracted or something and totally missed that opportunity
And I was never ever gonna get that chance again because everything had changed course now
And this feeling is nagging at me and my roommate isn't talking
He's just looking sad and scared out the window hoping he stops being high soon
Because he's got work in the morning
And I wanted to watch The Silence Of The Lambs when I got home but I'm starting to feel tired
And now I'm annoyed with myself for feeling ****** because I'd just been talking
The day before about how happy I'd become

Something about you
Singing loudly along to Les Mis
Makes me want to throw something heavy at your head

But I remember when I would've thought it was funny

"It was cute when I didn't know you."

I don't remember what movie that's from
I asked my roommate but he didn't know what I was talking about
Or he couldn't hear me over all the Les Mis in the living room
It doesn't really matter what movie it's from
It's just what I was thinking to describe
Everything you do

Pigeons
Can be just as foreboding as crows
Perched above a streetlight
As it abruptly goes yellow
Eight or so of them
Their bellies hanging into traffic
I met an old lady on the street
Trash spread around her like a wedding dress
I couldn't hear a word she said above the traffic
I couldn't tell if she wanted anything from me
Or if she was content to talk while I leaned against my car
Her whole life bubbling out of her  mouth
She watched her words float away
With big sorry eyes
And she cursed at me as I got into my car
And drove home for breakfast

There's a guy dressed up as Freddie Kruger for Halloween
Freddie Kruger can't sing the high part during Eye Of The Tiger
I murmur something to my friend
Me: Freddie Crooner
My friend laughs more than he needs to
We aren't sure whose whiskey sour is whose anymore
My roommate doesn't want to sing in front of people
She'd rather hide in her glass and mingle with the ice
But I make her duet a Nirvana song with me
Which we scream and she starts having fun
The crowd claps with relief when we're done
Freddie Kruger offers me a fist bump
A group of sweet plump ladies takes turns singing love ballads
They all have pretty voices and work at Bubba Gump on the pier
The one that sang the Adele song is studying business
She tells me while we smoke outside during Wonder Wall
I sing nine minutes of Meatloaf
My voice cracks and growls like feedback
This guy buys me a shot afterwards
My throat is so dry that I have to drink it in tiny sips
This guy thinks me and my friends are fun
I duet Desperado with him and we knock over stools and laugh
He has clearly never heard the song Desperado before
Me and my friends invite the whole bar to sing an Aerosmith song together
I think that this may be the only way to really appreciate Aerosmith
I drive my roommate and my self back to our apartment
I'm drunk but I pretend I'm sober so she won't get scared
Then sometimes I laugh bizarrely to scare her a little bit
But always end up lying and reassuring her that I'm sober
We start talking about Lou Reed because he had died that day
I guess Lou Reed didn't like when people said RIP
Which I had written in my facebook status about him dying
I don't really care much because Lou Reed wasn't really a friend of mine
I just liked his music
And he never mentions in any of his songs anything
About people saying RIP
When we got to the bar the first thing I did
Was to look for a Lou Reed song to sing
But there weren't any
So I sang other songs instead

I wonder if my roommate's cat
Understands mirrors
I've heard only dolphins understand mirrors
(like people do)
I wonder if my roommate's cat
Walks by the mirror in our living room
And thinks that there is a cat living in an
unreachable corridor
Which shuffles from wall to wall when he walks by
Or maybe my roommate's cat
Sees a rather bland television in our living room
Projecting just more of the room into the room
Which brings to mind
Whether my roommate's cat understands television

I wanna live like a piece of chewing tobacco
Stuck at the bottom of the front of your mouth

I'd like to be the television program you barely watch
Before you fall asleep on your couch at night

Maybe I could be the orange peel you can't find a trash can for
So you stick it in your shirt front pocket instead and it stays there for weeks

It would be nice if---

                                                                               ---HEY HEY HEY what do you think you're doing?
I was writing a poem---

                                                                              ---Oh yeah? What kind of poem? Is it a love poem?

Sort of---
                                                            
                                                                              ----Well who is it too then? Huh?

It's kind of non specific---

                                                                             ----What a bunch of baloney! This guy? Can you believe        
                                                                              This guy? Thinks he can just write love poems to the
                                                                           ether this guy. And they ain't even real romantic like.
                                                                          Jeesh! I'll tell you why too! Because they ain't got no one
                                                                       serious in mind. You gotta get yourself a lady friend.

Well I'm working on it---

                                                               ---Well work a little harder huh? Instead of sitting in bed all
                                                                morning go to some farmer's markets or a library and talk to
                                                              some classy chicks. Christ go to a... a.. juicery... or somethin.
                                                           Whatever you fancy LA types do. Christ almighty I ain't got time
                                                         for this. I'm outta here.




I think maybe I'd just like to be a piece of gum at the bottom of your shoe
Now I'll just have to find a street corner to stick myself to