While in the pool
Your foot rested on top of mine
And suddenly you were all the things
I had loved you for
Again
And here we were in this house
Where we had spent the best part of our time together
Breathing wetly inside our cocoon together
Here we were
You're being funny again
And you're looking at me again
                              I know you so well
                                       But I never got tired of you
                                              Even when I hated you
You're looking at me
And I know exactly what you mean
I miss loving you too
We get back inside the house
And you go upstairs and wake up
Your boyfriend
And you loudly ****
And I feel like a worm inside someone's shoe
Again
I'm more bothered that I'm bothered
That there's nothing new to bother me
That maybe I'll never stop being bothered by you
But it's nice and terrible to see you
And I'm glad everything between us is fine on the surface
But underneath it
Your foot's still touching mine

People are still driving
To work
In their cars

I got a bagel
With locks
The place was busy

The bagel place

Facebook seems pretty upset
But so far the morning
Looks like morning

Bright
And sad with sleep

But I guess the government stopped

I thought I wouldn't feel as gross
With my greasy hair tied back
Fermenting in my gym shorts
Sniveling in line
At the bagel place
What with the government not working
But I did
And I felt bad for being smelly
Around all those people

I wish the stupid cat in my apartment
Would shut up
I wonder if he's hungry
Or just nervous

I manage to get
Maybe a few hours
Before I'm thirsty
And I wake up
I wake up wide
Wide awake
Wide like a crater on the face of the moon
The moon must be quite the place
At dawn

When I was asleep
I slept restlessly
And dreamt that I wouldn't get enough
I wouldn't get enough sleep to function
I woke up in my dream and drove my car
Into a tree and the hood crumpled into a paper bag
That had carried my lunch
But I'd eaten it all
And I sat down next to my ruined car
And wept
And cursed myself for not getting more sleep

Then I woke up for real
I wrote this poem
While I watched the palm tree outside my window
Turn into a postcard

It's been months since I've seen my friend
He's good
Unemployed
He talks a lot in the car because he is unemployed
And he doesn't want me to judge him for it
So he feels he has to explain

It's OK
I'm still borrowing too

At his place we sit
And I drink water because he doesn't have anything stronger
Unless
You count
Almond Milk
I sit with my legs extended on one section of the couch
He sits with his legs extended on another section of the couch
He takes out his sketch pad and starts drawing me
I talk

I talk about my life and try and make it sound
Good
Or like everything is progressing naturally
I try and fit everything into the right place
Where it should be
Or I think it should
Or where it was supposed to be when we were in school together
It's all old silverware
In new cabinets

He finishes the sketch
It doesn't look anything like me
My lips are four sizes too big
I look crumpled somehow

But I tell him it's good anyway
Because he is my friend
And it would be a good drawing if it was of someone else
but it's not a good one of me

The music was good
I asked the DJ if he had my song
No
But the music was good
There was a shapely bartender with a shaved head
And a long flannel shirt that made it sometimes look as if she
Wasn't wearing any pants
And she wasn't
She was wearing shorts
I asked the DJ if maybe he had a certain other song
No
But the music was still good
There was a smaller room where you could smoke indoors
And a foreign guy with a shaved head
Foreign guy with a shaved head: Hey let me know if I'm in your space or something.
Me: Huh?
Foreign guy with a shaved head: You bumped into me so if I'm in your space or something...
                                                                                                                                                         let me know
It is not my space
I don't own the bar
It is the bar's space
Or perhaps it is the government's space
Or god's space
Or like an alien supercomputer's space
But it is not mine
Or his
I think about picking a fight with this guy
Or letting him kick my *** more likely
So we could share the space
More effectively

I ask the DJ if maybe possibly he had a certain song by chance
No
But the music was still pretty good
There was a girl with a pretty dress and a head full of ****
I patted her head to watch her hair go up and down
She noticed and we got to talking
About musical theatre
A song came on and she said she would meet me on the dance floor
The song came and went and she did neither
I asked the DJ if he had a song I knew he'd have
Yes
The music wasn't so good because it was a boring song
That I had heard many many times before
I danced with a friend
And a sweaty man danced between us
Reeling and mugging for his audience of friends
He picked up my friend and put him down again
To the crowd's delight
I stole his hat
Right off his head
And my friend and I left the bar
We got in the car laughing
And drove away
And the music was good