you said "goodbye"
and I turn around,
tears running down my face.
the memories flash by,
and it felt as if it would feel if my life was flashing before my eyes
when a bullet was coming towards me.

the voices fill my mind again,
"I told you.
He doesn't want you.
He never wanted you.
You're worthless."

and I turn around one last time,
thinking maybe you'd change his mind.
but  I turn around to already see you
with your arms wrapped around someone new.

Roses are red
violets are blue
it's so hard to admit
that I love you

Strawberries are red
blueberries are blue
I wasn't told
that you love me too

Now we're just
Friends in passing

You'd say "hi"
And I'd say "hello"

That's it

No more
Midnight conversations
No more
Inside jokes
No more
Secret knowing glances
No more
Heartfelt confessions
No more
Tender moments

No more
Us
Best friends

Now we're just
Strangers
Who once held each other's hearts
In their palms

She still remembers
his promises
before he left
risking his life
for their country
their family
their future
for her
they were
promises of a lifetime
she kept living
for those promises
she waited
and waited
in the end
he left her
all alone
hurting
mourning
for him
for the death
of her soul mate
the reason she's living
she cried
and cried
until she was empty
she decided to end
her misery
an eternity without him
is like hell on earth
like putting salt in her cuts
because
she can't catch up
with the speed of the world
without him in it

A young girl
Walking down a hallway
Surrounded by people who
Are the same age
Scared, confused and alone
She's fifteen

A young girl
Walking down a hallway
Surrounded by people who
Are different ages
Scared, confused and alone
She's fifteen

A young girl
Peeking into her bag
And opening a note
That her ex-boyfriend wrote
When he loved her,
He doesn't anymore

A young girl
Peeking into her bag
And opening a card
That mother bought
When she cared,
She still does

A young girl
Walking home
Toying with the blade
She keeps in her purse
She thinks of dying
And ending the hurt

A young girl
Walking "home"
Toying with the tubes
Tethered to her veins
She thinks of living
And running again

A young girl
Lying in her bed
Thoughts of demons
And darkness entering her head
She eyes up the pills beside her
Then takes them

A young girl
Lying in her bed
Thoughts of cute boys
And field trips entering her head
She eyes up the pills beside her
Then takes them

Two young girls
In hospital beds
One wanting to die
And one wanting to live
One confined to the sheets
And one able to leave
They're fifteen

One young girl
Gets out of bed
And places a flower
Near the other girl's head
And the other girl smiles
And asks if she's dead
"Of course not silly,
You're very much
Alive, so go to
School and
Learn something
And stop wanting to die
Because it's not your time."

The other girl says,
"I'll leave if you do.
I'll go back to school
If you go back too."

One young girl smiles,
"I wish I could go,
I'd give anything to
Go back and live
On my own. But my
Bones are brittle and
Won't let me leave,
So you go and you
Live life for me."

Two young girls
Finally freed
One walking
Through hallways
One walking
On golden streets
One with her head high
And her razor shattered
One with strong bones
And cute boys beside her.

Five years from now
You'll look back
And ask yourself
"What's the name of
The girl who sat
One row behind me to the right"
But I'll remember your name

Ten years from now
You'll look back and ask
Who was the girl
With a freckle on her chin
But you still can't
Picture her quite right
Yet I will never forget your face

Fifteen years from now
You'll find your old yearbook
Flipping through the pages
Until you land on the girl
With the freckle on her chin
Who sat one row behind you on the right
And you'll remember who I am

You will remember that you both
Were once the best of friends
And you'll realize
You forgot her
Just like she thought you would
And you'll remember the pact
We made to never forget each other

Now we're here fifteen years later
You're standing there, phone in hand
With the girl's number in the other
She picks up the phone with a sad
"Who is this?", you tell her
There's a gasp on the other end
You don't know how much my face lit up

Let's go fifteen years and a few days later
You meet up at a coffee shop
But you don't sit down to chat
You take your orders and go on a walk
The first thing she says "I thought you forgot me"
You have to tell her you did
Those words shattered my heart

Now fifteen years later
You have a family, a wife you love
While that girl, she's alone
She has friends but never found love
Because of you
The girl had a dream
It was to marry you

So now you know, that girl
She never forgot you,
Not once
You invaded her mind
Every other night
Hoping you would come find me
Just like you promised

But you forgot,
While I will never forget you.





A.B.