He came to me one night
when I was cold and alone,
I was halfway through with it,
an inch from the bone.
He whispered so gently
as he laid me down on the bed,
"what aspect of life
put these thoughts in your head?"

"I don't breathe like I used to,"
I told him, as his image blurred,
"I ask for their help
but they don't say a word."
His vice like fingers
clamped onto my wrist,
"Not on this night, child.
You don't die like this."

Before I could figure out
what I thought he meant,
he opened his mouth,
"my dear, be patient.
For life is a hurdle
in the relay of death,
your time on this earth
is not over yet.

"When you reach the finish
then I'll come for you,
but until that moment,
here's what you'll do;
each problem that throws
itself in your sight,
promise me you won't
give up with no fight.

"The days when you
think you're over and done,
just look in the mirror,
you've already won.
Because you made it this far
through so many years,
you've conquered your demons
and outweighed your fears.

"The pills in the bottle
can wait a while longer,
because with each passing day
you've gotten much stronger.
I don't offer my help
to little girls who suffer,
I'll be breaking the hearts
of the ones that love her.

"Do you see now, child,
what I'm saying to you?
Your time is not up,
your life will ensue."
I bit down on my lip,
and nodded my head,
and just like that,
he disappeared from my bed.

That was the time,
that Death saved my life,
so if you ever want to end it,
just remember his advice.
Don't think of the pain,
and how it'll end soon,
because Death talks a lot,
when he enters your room.


a.d.

Two lovers
Standing on the side
Of a ship, peering down
To the sea below.

I was the southern belle
With one hand on my coin purse
And the other on my cap, holding
It in place despite the breeze
Sweeping off the sea.

You were the southern gentleman
One hand in your pocket, toying with
Your antique watch that always seemed to
Be a minute late, and the other on the
Railing, keeping you steady as you
Squint ahead in an attempt to
Separate the seams of
Sky and sea.

A wave of mass proportion
Heaves the ship to one side,
Causing me to slip from the
Balcony and into the railing.

You immediately tear your eyes
From the sky and into mine as you
Reach for me, grabbing my hands
And attempting to pull me to safety.

But the ship leans,
And I slide over the side,
Your hands the only thing
Anchoring me to anything.

You are under the impression
That you can pull me in, but the
Sea has something else in mind.
It rocks the ship, throwing me
Against the side and then
Tossing me back out again.

Your eyes are desperate,
Your grip is sturdy,
But your body is
A victim of
Gravity.

I can feel you
Leaning further
Over the side, your
Eyes still searching mine.

I know that
If I continue to
Hold the hand that
Has always saved me,
It will only endanger you.

So I pull
My fingers
From your grasp
And watch your eyes
As I fall to my death, but
I know that I have saved you.

We're one half of a pair of jigsaw puzzle
and like many puzzles, we will meet
the wrong other half
before we find one that is made
to fit with us
but what if along the way,
in the process of finding our other half
we have deformed ourselves
in order to try and fit with the ones
that are just not meant for us?
Does it mean our original shape will no longer
be for the one we're destined for?
And we missed the chance of our
fated happily forever and after?
Or are we meant to be damaged?
So we can fit with another shape
that is also damaged,
but the type of damage that is supposed
to go along with you?

Run away from here
to the sea
where you can finally find comfort
in the lulling waves
and simplicity of the deep blue
run away from here
and I will find you

Run away from here
to the forest green
make friends with all the animals
and tell them your secrets
climb trees like they are mountains
and howl with the wolves
at the crisp blue moon
run away from here
and I will find you

Run away from here
to the top of a building
watch pedestrians walk by
with ants on the way to their hill
contemplate jumping
but decide against it
when you find the girl in the building across
is quite pretty
and likes to dance with the windows open
to jazz and hip hop
run away from here
and I will find you

Run away from here
to the desert heat
pile sand on your legs
for warmth at night
throw stones at the vultures
to keep them away
run away from here
and I will find you

Stage One - Experimentation:
I've seen it before, on movies and television shows.
The peer pressure, the giving in, the going back again.
And that's exactly what it felt like to me.
The pressure of your hand against the small of my back,
The way my body fell apart at your touch,
Like an ancient foundation crumbling,
And the desire that stirred in my chest to feel your touch once more.
At first, I only wanted a taste of you.
But the thrill that you brought me was something not easily forgotten.

Stage Two - Regular Use:
It became a casual thing,
Feeling you coursing through my bloodstream.
A knock on the door like the prep of a needle,
And your hand pulling me in like the ***** of skin,
And within seconds, a high I couldn't recognize,
As though I was walking on the sky and the
Grass was tickling my eyelashes,
And your fingers were pressed
Into the dimples in my hips.

Step Three - Risky Use/Abuse:
Before I knew it,
I was lying awake,
Wide-eyed in bed at night,
Imagining your fingertips
Tracing the inside of my thighs.
So I brought my pillow and blanket
And pitched a tent at the foot of your bed.
Then swore to myself I'd never leave your house again.

Step Four - Drug Dependency:*
A minute without your breath against my neck
Causes my chest to burn and my knees to shake,
But every time your breath fills my lungs,
I can feel the years of my life falling away.
Your lips are my nourishment,
Your sighs are my fluids,
And your kiss is my IV drip.
Every part of you has consumed every inch of my thoughts,
Even the dusty corners I have forgotten about,
And with every gentle touch, I can feel the withering of my heart,
Like a flower never to bloom again,
But it's a beautiful destruction.