I ALWAYS COUNTED ON YOU,
BUT SOMETHING JUST NEVER
ADDED UP QUITE RIGHT.
IT HIT ME SO HARD,
I STILL HAVE DOUBLE VISION.
YOUR FACE IS STILL FUZZY
IN MY MEMORY.
BUT I THINK THAT CAME WITH
TIME.
TIME AWAY FROM YOU.
TIME TO BREATHE.
TIME TO WALK ON MY OWN.
BECAUSE THE **** CLOCK
NEVER HELD MY TREMBLING HANDS
LIKE YOU DID.
BUT IT NEVER LIED TO ME
LIKE YOU DID.

*   *   *   *  

WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS
ALL I COULD THINK WAS
"HOW DOES HE LIVE WITH HIMSELF?"
THEN I REMEMBERED YOU HAVE
TROUBLE SLEEPING AT NIGHT.
IS IT FROM THE GUILT?
OR THE CHORUS OF TEXTS
FROM ALL THE GIRLS
YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH?

   *   *   *   *

I WANT ALL MY TIME BACK.
I WANT TO GO BACK AND
NEVER LAY EYES ON YOU.
I WANT EVERYTHING BACK.
I WANT MY SECRETS,
SWEATERS, AND SERENITY BACK.
GIVE IT BACK, YOU ****.

You didn't know it yet,
but you made a mistake
by picking me out of the crowd.
I want more than your
recycled one liners
and puppy dog eyes.
more than you have to offer.


you weren't much for deep thought,
but I have to commend you for trying
...even though I really wish you didn't.
You tried to write poetry for me
because you knew it was my favorite,
but nothing was original,
nothing was special.


if I wanted to hear something
I've heard a million times already
I would have listened to Christmas music.
honey, this is not a game
and my life isn't a revolving door.
You can't just keep going
around and around and around.


if you wanted to be here,
you should have stayed.
now all I want for Christmas is you
walking out that door for good.

There's a lot to
learn about love
when I watch the
people I gave it to,
grow into strangers.
We stop making plans.
We start to forget things.
We meet brand new people.
We learn new things and we just
don't bother to share it all, anymore.
I stopped fighting for the person I met
When they stopped answering the phone.

I'm sorry.

I've been stretching inside my skin
I've been feeling these brick borders
for cracks to pick away at
I've been looking for a city to get lost in
because the air here is heavy.
Because the air here is toxic.
Because I am unable to walk through the door
without a hazmat suit.


I never was comfortable indoors.
The lack of sunshine made me wilt.
I was dying to get out
I was dying to get out
I was dying
And so was everything else
It makes sense, if you think about it
There's something cozy about the way
Tree branches tangle and hold each other

I wonder if mother nature
gets depressed in the winter too
I wonder if the word 'stay'
will ever stop feeling like a ticking time bomb.
Like a synonym for Already Gone.
I wonder if the word 'stay'
sounds like slamming doors to you too.

As a perpetually cold person,
I think it takes longer for indifference to thaw.
I think it takes longer to warm up to people
When I'm busy counting
goosebumps like stars
And waiting for spring
to scrub the remnants of ice
from the front yard (and my lungs)

I'm still waiting to breathe again.

I hate the way my chest reacts
When I see your eyes light up
I hate that you're favourite colour
Is my favourite colour.
I hate that you talked about
Some kind of future with me
And now I see it too.
You took my snow globe world
And like a child, you shook it.
My sedentary life became
Extraordinary.
I hate how much you don't care
I hate how much I do.
I hate how much I adore you.
That kind of rhymes and I kinda
Hate that too.

The puppet strings were
always pulled so tight.
They restricted my movement
and my breathing.
Then you cut them off
With no
Warning.
We dance in the car
We hold hands
We do not take instructions
From cues prewritten
In teenage romance novels.
You don't listen
To indie pop.
You don't even like poetry.
But you like me
Even when you pretend
Otherwise.
The night you kissed me,
You spent thirty minutes
Talking about cars in the cold.
I didn't understand a word,
But I loved every minute.
We aren't delicate China,
We are a red sports car
On our way to the Smithsonian.
We aren't baby steps and blushing.
We are red sharpie,
Rewriting Rules For Happiness.
We are *******,
Pushing buttons until they jam.
We are awful singers.
We are louder than the radio.
We are just a moment
But it's a moment to look back on.

You talked about dying once
and let me tell ya,
Heaven won't take you.
But Honey,
Even the Devil cringes
When your name hits my ears.


You have a lot of girls feeling so
Heart eye emoji for ya
You didn't break my heart
See Sweetheart,
You're not James Dean enough.
I don't wait around for just anyone.


You joked about haunted houses
And I almost told ya
It's not nice to joke about yourself
Look Darling,
You can fill up all your spare time
It still won't fill that emptiness you feel.