Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.

The hours we spend are as little as you.
Our time is borrowed from other times.
Things could have been different
you would never leave my side
not for a walk to where I am not
among people I don't know
or to places I don't go.
With me here is where I need you
when I am awake I breathe you
the fruit of me both asleep
both smiling, laughing wondering
who are you dreaming with?
Is it me or is it your mom?
Probably both like it used to be
in other times we never borrowed
I wish I could have them back
and never have to question
when we are not together
if it is out of sight and out of mind
when it comes to you
in that little head of yours
in that little world of yours
that consist of candy
toys and slides
in that short attention span
is there room for your dad?
Do I come knocking in your thoughts?
Ready to pick you up
we'll go anywhere you want
to see the fish, to the beach
we'll play "daddy wins"
we'll play Hide and Seek all day long
to stretch the hours on the clock
to hope that it never dawns
and you never have to leave
and I will never have explain to you
why are things the way they are
but one thing you must know
that I always loved your mom
through tears, I cared through pain
I was still there throughout the years
my heart never gave out
this flame was never extinguished
this love never tapped out
through it all it persisted
and it has just grown fonder
with these years as you get older
it will always be there
until I am six feet under
because of you
my little boy
my little punk
my little Josh
you are walking
talking
breathing
living proof
of how much we loved each other...
and how much we love you.

WHY DO I HAVE
TO BE MYSELF
ALL OF THE TIMES

I WISH I WERE
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
WHO HAVE TWO LIVES
DRAG QUEENS WITH DAY JOBS
ACTORS GONE MAD
A BIGAMOUS, WITH FAMILIES
IN TWO DIFFERENT CITIES
THOSE VEILED WOMEN
OF TEHERAN
AN UNDERCOVER SPY
OR A LAP DANCER IN MIAMI,
AND SOMEWHERE ELSE
A PROFESSOR OF SOMETHING

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS
ALWAYS
WHY DOES MY NATURE
HAVE TO BE SO
PREDICTABLE

WHY DO I FALL IN LOVE
WITH THE SAME KIND
OF UNSUITABLE MEN
ALL OF THE TIMES
AT TWENTY, THIRTY
AND FORTY FIVE

WHY DO I DO
WHAT I´M SUPPOSED
EXPECTED,
KNOWN
TO DO

AND CAN´T ESCAPE THE RULE
AND CAN´T ESCAPE THE RULE
AND CAN´T ESCAPE THE RULE
TO SAVE MY LIFE

WHY DO WE ALL HAVE TO LIVE IN THIS
PRISON INSIDE

WHY DO I HAVE TO LOVE
MUSICIANS, JAZZ
AND ALWAYS SAY NO
WHEN SOMEONE ASKS
ME TO GO SNORKELING, OR PARASAILING
WHY CAN´T I
SAY YES ONE DAY
TO LINING UP FOR HOURS
TO SEE THE SIXTINE CHAPEL
INSTEAD OF HAVING
A GLASS OF WINE BY TREVI
WITH A GOOD FRIEND FROM PORTUGAL

OR CHOOSE THE MOUNTAINS BEFORE THE BEACH
OR LEARN TO SKI, AND SCUBA DIVE

WHY CAN´T I
SAY I LOVE STOCKHOLM
AND NOT LISBOA
PREFER PARIS TO BERLIN
OR SAN FRANCISCO TO ISTANBUL, THAT´S IN MY HEART

WHY DON´T I MARRY
A BUREAUCRAT
WITH NOT A DROP OF PASSION IN HIS SOUL
AND A CONTEMPT FOR ART
BALDING AND CHEERFUL
TILL WE BOTH DIE

WHY DON´T I START
TO DRESS LIKE NUNS
AND HIDE MY SHOULDERS
AND MY LEGS
FROM PASSERS BY

OR I COULD
JOIN A CULT
BECOME RELIGIOUS
START BELIEVING
IN SOMETHING

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO **** SMART
AND TRY SO HARD
TO BE LOVED BY EVERYONE

WHY DO I HAVE TO CRY
WITH EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME
CRY

WHAT IS THE GOOD OF AN INTELLIGENCE
WHEN IT REASONS ALWAYS THE SAME
WAY
AND ALWAYS REACHES
THE SAME CONCLUSION

I ENVY
THOSE OTHER PEOPLE
THE MURDERER
WHO BECAME A PHILANTROPIST
THE PRIESTESS
WHO BECAME A *******
THE OLD MAN
WHO CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET
AT EIGHTY FIVE
FIVE CHILDREN AND TWO WIVES

CHANGE
CHANCE
AND ALL THINGS
UNFORESEEN
AND YET ARRIVED

A CHANGING NATURE
CHAMELEON MINDS

CHANGE
THAT IS THE ONLY
INTELLIGENCE
THAT MAN CAN HAVE

First impressions dug deep into hearts of confusion
Messages of love so warm and vibrant
Perhaps we were fertile for such seeds of emotion?
Planted so accurately in our souls, cautious and yet receptive
As time proceeded the kernels of realisation developed roots, deep and stable
Reassuring our minds and relaxing our subliminal tension
Smoothing our lives as wonderful memories are built, daily
Simple hand touching and brushing of lips, sensitive and meaningful
Walking, talking and learning
A new experience that has become ‘us’, Jan and Max
No longer just two people but a synergy in living and loving
We get to know contentment and embrace it as a tender thing
Every day a careful brick of love is put in the wall of our future
Built on foundations of beautiful harmony and understanding
A creation of happiness and determination worn with confidence
Since no such feeling has ever before been available to us
Fortune and luck is one thing but such poignancy and roundness
Is seldom delivered in such an elegant packaging as our love
Each day is a treasure whatever we do
Feeling you close, hearing your voice, seeing your face.
Why is it so wonderful, was it the wait?
The lack of a belief then destroyed by the reality in fact?
Desperation of having no future, no plans and no-one to hold?
If so all of these are yet diminished by perfection
How close we are, how much we know of each other
Not just now but of the past and of the future we will share
Such true souls never to be parted, ever
These things are not accidental but designed with cosmic influence
Darling Jan since we met our growth has been amazing
Within ourselves and for each other, personally and as a couple
Stronger and stronger from one to a million and on
In this world and all to come
My whole being is completed, enhanced and fulfilled by you
Every day wonderful and a joyful symphony of love
My soul  and yours are united forever and my heart...?
I gave you my heart so long ago.... on the day we met.