She asked me how laying on that table felt
And I told her like a body in a morgue
Like I belonged to a crime scene
When I got up to leave
My soul stayed behind
She’s been stuck there for years
Naked and sterile
A lost ghost and her bones that used to belong to me stands shaking
Like an abandoned home at the end of the street
Broken down and empty
No one looks inside
No one checks on the memories that still reside there

Mother says that when two crows mate for life
They are blinded by love
There is no temptation
They can recall it all and despite them all looking the same
Once two crows fall in love  
They are completely different
Swollen with full tummies
And shaken feathers cleansed by their partners mouth
Bringing each other small gifts of silver

Once I drove past two crows on the side of a busy highway
One lay lifeless in a shallow grave of gravel
The other
Pacing back and forth away from cars
But immediately returning to tempt fate
To **** two birds with one careless driver
Yet even in death they did not part
At least not fast enough to prove my mother wrong

He said that he didn’t know something like this could exist until he found me
It’s 4am and I’m showing him soft skin
He makes me want to dance in the shadows of his kitchen
Barefooted and light  
Complete devotion in our touch
I want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
And scale his back with small hands
There’s mountains and water and sun
And then us
Nothing is more beautiful than this
Until he found me I never knew lust and love could exist together in matrimony
Made up of slow music and cooked meals
He will be everything I’ve ever wanted and I will be everything in between

I will protest for us until the end of time
With scraped knees and dirt under my nails
Sipping the wines of all the gods in history
Taking every desirable drug under the sun to be your equal
I will sing the songs of soothing deep sea sirens
Reading your palms with promising lips
and native tongue
I will understand even when you don’t
I will do it all for you


R.M

Loving you was like handing a picked flower to a swarm of bees
Small gestures with premeditated endings
Good intentions were not enough

I think about you only when I’m alone
Distraction is great when you’re inlove with someone who is incapable of compassion
I have the taste of your skin memorized on the tip of my tongue
Every time I annunciate I feel your hand wrapped around my throat then your lips whispering in my ear

hush

I always stopped talking when you told me too but that’s exactly what you hated about me
I’m sorry that the hem on my sleeve has unraveled and my heart is on the floor but we cannot all be broken the same way
The truth is I only need you when I haven’t seen you in months
I only cry for you when I think about you unbuttoning my jeans
The swift movement down my thighs taking a white sock off with them at the same time
I know the fragile curves of my body are imprinted in your unconscious and when you touch other girls your hands smell like my perfume.
We only want each other when we can’t have each other and that’s why I’ll spend the rest of my life with other men.

Im screaming so silently,
My soul is combusting
and I can see my pale skin coat
slowly perishing in the reflection of other people's irises.
And I've built a personal hospital,
Brick by brick of everything that has made me
Shake.
I sit on my hands to avoid my critics.
I can't remain still so I take cover
drowning in older men's neutral sheets
As if it would make it pure,
But I'm in love with heartache,
For I wouldn't feel anything otherwise.
I'm incapable of being content.
See options in my town are so,
so,
Small
And I have entire world inside of me.
I'm global ******* and
They're buying their
Parents houses.
But I parent my parents therefore becoming my own
Home.
My father has no say as he's never said anything,
At all.
My mother is an adolescent who has become a world class actor.
And she's running too.
Except my siblings and I are her small town,
And one day I'll release her,
So she won't have to say anything either,
and I won't have to act anymore.
I'm escaping myself, my roof has collapsed.
I'm terminal on my own will.