let's just call this a suicide note

                  because that's
           what it should be.

If I was still who I
           was
                          a month ago

then there would be
     slits up this wrist
and an empty bottle in
       this fist

But instead I can
appreciate
                    that I don't
have more scars.

In the glow of satisfaction
after we are spent from passion
I watch you dress up
You button your shirt
One at a time.
Am sorry to see the expanse of chest go
We talk
About what you want
You tell me you're addicted
To everything about me
Don't mind being a Slave
To my every need.
I hug you
Try to fit myself as close as I can
Hoping to block out the loneliness
you are like a healing balm.
I wish you could stay
Hold me close all night.
Cover my face, palms, shoulder
with drops of little kisses.
I want you to stay
some night, every night.
with you am losing the pain
I like how you invade me.

Days feel longer still and the nights seem old,
My hand it touches glass that bars my way,
I sit and see the winter winds blow cold,
Dreaming now of a closer coming day.
Hands soft with need and want will lift the gloom,
The world is gone we're buried in this den,
I'll see your smile sing back into this room,
Nights young with lips and laughter once again.
My heart it beats so sweetly for your own,
To kiss me now would make me weaker still,
A weakness that forever I'll condone,
Those lips that flame my passion, aim to thrill.
'I love you so,' my thoughts forever sigh,
You are the star, my life an endless sky.