My life, a perpetually circling dog trying to find just the right place lie down.

I look at the world and I think
oh no not again
history repeats
so I guess I gotta say
keep your head up
spread the love
send a prayer unto it's peeps
before it's done
and you're reaped
and it's set in stone
that you are lying under their feet

123, 123 think
I'm on the brink of dear life
Past, present, and future strife
There always exists the shame
Even when I am not to blame
Tomorrow doesn't exist for me
And I am not holding onto tonight
I'm holding on to being free
Figuring out love and it source of light
learning how to love someone like me

Being sober is like turning into a werewolf there is everything and nothing that scares us because we have seen it all and done it all except accept the pain as spiritual growth and keep on going towards what feels like forever and try and try not to lose hope

I'm dancing. I'm drowning. I hate myself, please leave me. No, don't go, I love you. I need you, I'm nothing without you,  please stay! Who the **** am I anyways? I never knew me. Eulogy my insanity, nothing else is me.  There's nothing in my name, I am not words, I am not okay. Leave me BE! I'm so lonely... my paradoxical heart is beating me to death and I can't breathe, not even rapturously, I'm burning alive from the inside out.  As if that feeling ever even existed, it's nothingness and pain, just like I am, constantly playing some pseudo game of cat and mouse with my mind,  except I'm never the cat until I snap and eat Cinderellas friends. I'm tired and hyper, will you please just stay and go away? I'm sick of pleading with and of you to the point where I never even loved you because I don't even know what that word or all these others mean, nothing is as it seems... I'm floating outside myself, nothing next to nothing is still nothing, full of rage. I can't do this anymore, off with my head. How can you make nothingness dead? I'm empty and nothing so how can nothing be empty, I can't contain my pain... ahhh I'm screaming someone please don't help, you can't anyways, so just play hide and go **** yourself or me, I don't even know... I so badly want to feel something, anything, can't I cut me? No, they all get mad and send me away... who the hell is talking? Is this even me? This is and isn't me. Oh ****, I AM ******. I've gotta go away.

Ah, light! Beautifully strewn across the landscape of my soul's heart. My desire for freedom illuminating the sphere of my little big world bubble, casting shadows of fear away to where they belong in their spiral, circling the drain of no hope, clogging my madness and need to run from the precocious empty, which used to damage me so... I feel free today! Where did I used to go? They are gone from the circular despair and return in desperation, as such that cycle goes... clinging and growing inside my joy, as ego... but no more foes like lightning electrifying the compass of my one true soul. Flames we are, catching fire to the moth, assimilating within its flow, though we are like the butterfly, not the moth, transformed in representation of pillars made of salt... we are those pillars, the salt of the earth, guarding freedom, in hope... do we taste just so? Or shall we baptize in waters that float... why even worry? We cannot add to our canvass we create on to and fro, quo vadimus... where are we going? I now can and may answer that we are headed home, though not on our own, but through loving others as ourselves, all those with hearts of stone... Thus we shall say, 'Let there be Light! Or so the story goes...

I walked into a love story that was still in bloom
Sure it might have had quite a few pages ripped and some tear drops on the binding
But all in all the story was beautiful
It was about two people that have had their ups and downs
But never stopped loving each other
There were moments that they will never forget that were gut wrenching
But their were also moments that made them feel alive
The past hurts but the future for these two only time will tell.  
I pray that they find the right combination and the right foundation to build their love to the sky
I am in love w him but he loves her.
I won't ever regret my choice to love him bc he makes the world open up and makes my spirit want to dance
She will get to lay down with him as he holds her tight at night
I'll continue to pray as they go forth in this journey that they stay safe and keep each other alive
Bc no matter what I want I want them to live to the fullest and love w no conditions.
I will always wish he loved me the way he loves her but that is not how this story is going to go.