People in places with feelings
Running down the darkest of roads
They could be much worse off
it's their choosing
Some choose life and love the perils of love
Love is alive and it's moving
Never tie it down to anything
We must be free of the chains and see beauty
In each and all of God's everything
So just live and let live and sleep naked
and love every single being you can

Dear Randy,

     What the ****? Why do you consistently continue to **** your life up over and over again!? Why do you choose to talk to all these crazy broken women, knowing it will always end badly? Do you really hate yourself that ******* much? Or because you're crazy too?
     Is it the loneliness or the worthlessness? The boardroom or the cabin fever? Your mom's overdose or childhood horrors?  Or is it the simple fact that you just LIKE to get ****** up? And since the world is ****** up too, you use that as an excuse to USE... citing that it's all just too much for you...

Because you are a little *****!
    
     You have no excuse for the drinking,. You started young, you liked it, and never wanted to stop. So you just didn't. And now, 15 years of hell later, your mind is losing itself, turning whatever pseudo-intelligent person you used to be into a mush-brained-narcissistic-soapbox-ranting and complaining *******.
     Oh and let's not forget! Your lies... Creating stories at times that are fairly large lies that affect you and other people, just for the rush of using your mind pulling all that off, to get that person to believe you. And you maintain the lie. Often times these lies are to garner sympathy of some sort. Still, others are self depreciating, which is strange. ******* ******. Attention *****. Self-seeking self loathing self-centered self-destructive stupid selfish *******!
     You need to somehow find your big boy boots so you can finally climb out of that little fantasy world you have been sheltering yourself from the storm with. And then you can see that everyone is in the same ******* storm. Grow up, grow a pair, and start doing your ******* job and help people,  ****.

Sincerely ******* always,
Yourself

this feels so surreal
stuck in this hell still
this song I hate that's on repeat
so tired of the beat
listening alone
tired of believing others
they tell me they hear
they lie to me
as we slow dance
and I feel them
swaying out of tune
then I lie to me
hopelessly clinging on
hoping if I take the lead
maybe then they'll hear my song
and learn to love me
even though I know I'm wrong

have i told you lately that you mean a lot to me? you shook up my world in such a good way, and I would say that I owe you, but I know that your soul was just being who you are. You've saved me out of that hell I was in by simply being my friend when no one else would... I'm still not perfect, and I could still **** it all up, but I no longer want to be dead, and that to me is enough to try and begin again... I hope this make sense, sometimes my heart doesn't quite see, so i just wanted to let you know, how much you truly mean to me.

The calendar says December 31st. The eve of a new reverie, the beginning and the end of the next and last dream we perceive through our eyes which are the windows to the galaxies and the universe and the black hole pupil at the center pulling everything which is nothing into nothingness and making it real and alive and transcending who we think we are into everything we thought to be, manifesting the love we share as human beings when we allow these vessels to do their thing and experience the oneness that we so desperately need to achieve, so even if there are numbers on a page that make you say that this year I will find my way, rejoice, because you already have today and not tomorrow, because the past and that day do not exist but only on a page

my body tingles after sipping down that first long pull
my lips dripping with the sweet fire of my greatest desire
the wave of relief washes over my entire being
I shudder because the world is finally right again
I have spent 15 long years battling these demons
I was never really expecting to win
and now I'm just so ****** tired
that I've decided to finally give in

Red haired fair skinned girl
You're beautiful
Not because of the red hair
Or the fair skin
It is your kindness
Your openness
and your light within