I hide behind my the spine of my books
Stories that I'll never live
About love I'll never feel
And battles I'll never fight
Bravery I can only dream of having
And passion that consumes the oceans in fire

I live in worlds that are not mine to own
Worlds where people do what they want
And say what they feel
Knowing that at the end of the last chapter
Everything is resolved
And everyone is where they should be

So at night I clutch the cold leather
And cling tightly to what I know
Coming to peace with never having what they have
And not being brave or passionate
And not having a neatly wrapped ending
Just an end... a sloppy end.

I hide behind my the spine of my books
Stories that I'll never live
About love I'll never feel
And battles I'll never fight
Bravery I can only dream of having
And passion that consumes the oceans in fire

I live in worlds that are not mine to own
Worlds where people do what they want
And say what they feel
Knowing that at the end of the last chapter
Everything is resolved
And everyone is where they should be

So at night I clutch the cold leather
And cling tightly to what I know
Coming to peace with never having what they have
And not being brave or passionate
And not having an a resolved ending
Just an end... a sloppy end.

The hardest words to hear you say
While you may think it, it wasn't goodbye
It wasn't, I don't feel the same way

While it hurt to hear
It wasn't that you were sleeping with someone new
It wasn't that I wasn't in your thoughts

And though it stung my pride
It wasn't that you had moved on
It wasn't that you didn't think of my anymore

The hardest words to hear you say
Were words regret
And going back and changing things

I know that it was wrong
But I want you to know
That I don't regret anything

I don't regret one minute
That I spent with you
Even though they were minutes spent in sin

I wouldn't change a thing
Because I always did what I felt
And felt with my heart

So knowing you regret
Memories I hold so dear
Will **** me until the day that I die.

I have to be honest
I have to tell you that I remember
I remember the way your eyes shine in street lights
I remember they way your fingers felt intertwined with mine
I remember the way your run your fingers through your hair when you talk
I remember they way you kiss with your entire soul
I remember they way you held me like I was the most important thing to you
I remember the way you made me feel like I was safe
And I remember the way you left
I remember how it felt when you said you were finished
I remember how it felt watching you be happy
I remember how it felt moving on with my life with someone else
I remember how it felt to pick up the pieces
I remember how it felt to see you, and know you that you don't remember
And then I remember why I try to forget

My throat is sore from the screaming
My lungs tired from the breathing
I've given up on trying to make you see
That I am slowly fading away

My heart is losing it's rhythm
My mind's wheel's are slowing their spinning
And all the while you just keep going
Smiling as if you don't know you could save me

The world is covered in a blanket of white
From the inside, all is still and beautiful
But the trees scream for life
And the rivers freeze and crack
The grass is dried and cold
And the flowers are gone

But the coldest place of all is here
In this relationship
This back and forth keeps the winds going
And the words that blow are frigid
But neither of us will let go
And find the spring

All I want to do is make You proud
  but I am stuck sitting on fences.
I can't seem to stand fast in the straight
  So I stay, just getting splinters

I'm stuck somewhere between
  who I am and who I want to be
And the answers are so clear
  but they always seem out of reach

So I grasp at indecision
   all the while my choices break Your heart
And every day I stay in the middle
   the further we are...apart

But You never leave me
   even though it kills You to watch me live
And when I come crawling back
   all Your love You'll give

You'll coax me into restfulness
   and I'll be rebuked by Your perfection
And my bruised and broken spirit
   healed and resurrected

But again and again I let You down
   living in foolish pride
While all the time you watch
   my sin, in vain, I try and hide

I keep making my mistakes
   and You keep picking me up off the floor
And how wretched I can be won't matter
  Because You'll always love me more