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1.7k · Jul 2013
Heartless
Miranda Jul 2013
There's this thing
where my heart should be.
It's cold as ice,
hard as stone,
and broken into millions of pieces,
as small as sand.

It's supposed to be
loving, compassionate,
and kind.
But instead it's
hateful, deceitful,
and selfish.

It should be vibrant,
filled with color,
from red to green,
from blue to orange.
Instead it's as black
as the darkest of nights.
1.4k · Aug 2013
Scared
Miranda Aug 2013
I used to be scared.
My biggest fear was losing you.
I had nightmares about it.
I'd wake up in the middle of the night,
Crying, gasping for air that my lungs couldn't get fast enough.
I always thought that I had the worst fear imaginable.
What could possibly be worse than losing the one you love?
But then I lost you.
You walked out of my life the exact same way you came in.
It was only then that I realized there are worse fears.
I'm no longer scared of losing you;
I already have.
Now I'm scared of something else.
I'm scared of the future.
I'm scared of my future.
I'm scared that maybe you were the best thing I'm ever going to have.
I'm scared that maybe there's nothing better out there.
I'm scared that I have already had the best,
That it's only downhill from here.
I'm scared that maybe I should've tried harder.
Maybe this was my one chance for something wonderful.
Now with all these fears swimming in my head,
I wish for my one simple fear again,
Because nothing is worse than this.
1.3k · Jul 2013
I fell in love
Miranda Jul 2013
I fell in love with the guy who made fun of me for being so clumsy. I fell in love with the guy who sang me songs and told me stories when I couldn't sleep. I fell in love with the guy who sent me a hundred messages to express just how much he loves me. I fell in love with the guy who woke me up in the middle of the night because he missed me too much. I fell in love with the guy who refused to say "***** please" because he didn't want to call me a *****. I fell in love with the guy who wouldn't let me stay angry at him. I fell in love with the guy who forgave me for even the worst of things. I fell in love with the guy who said that even if I was green like shrek he'd still love me. I fell in love with the guy who offered cuddles even though he knows we're too far away to actually be able to right now. I fell in love with the guy that told me how beautiful I was until I started to believe it. I fell in love with the guy who made time for me every single day. I fell in love with the guy who would give me the world if he could. I fell in love with the guy who acts like my flaws don't exist. I fell in love with the guy who would rather be in a long distance relationship with me than be in a relationship with any other girl. I fell in love with the guy who makes my heart happy. I fell in love with the guy who can make butterflies explode in my stomach. I fell in love with the guy who can make me blush through a simple text message. I fell in love with the guy whose 'I love you' means more than everyone else's combined.
1.2k · Jul 2013
Our List of Firsts
Miranda Jul 2013
The first day I met him
was like a dream come true.
He was handsome and dashing.
His eyes shined a bright blue.
His laugh made me stop in my
tracks just to get a better listen.
When he looked my way,
oh his eyes, how they glistened.

The first date we went on
was like you see in the movies.
It had laughter and dancing
and flowers and sushi.
We held hands and hugged
and shared an ice cream cone.
It was absolutely perfect.
And then he took me home.

The first time we kissed
was just as magical as they say.
We went out for a picnic
and out under the stars we lay.
After a moment of silence
he looked at me and I at him.
And when the time was right
we both leaned in.

The first time we fought
was a hard blow to the heart.
You yelled and I cried
and completely fell apart.
When there was nothing
left to be said,
you asked for my forgiveness
with a kiss on my head.

The first time you said
the words "I love you"
my heart fluttered in my chest.
"I love you, too."
You pulled me close
and said you'd never let me go.
You told me again that you loved me.
Much more than I could ever know.
1.2k · Jul 2013
I hate myself.
Miranda Jul 2013
I hate myself because
I hurt you
Every
Single
Day.
I make you
Angry and
Sad
When all you do is
Love me.

I hate myself because
I am worthless
In every sense of the word.
I bring nothing
To the table
But harsh words
And rash actions.

I hate myself because
I know
In the
Deepest
Depths of my soul
I am not good.
I am broken.
I am not whole.

I hate myself because
I can't express
My love for things.
I can't express my love
For the stars
For the crashing waves
For the kids
Playing on the playground
For you

I hate myself
Most of all
Because no matter how
Completely awful
I am to you
You love me.
And I can't make myself
Stop loving you too.
1.1k · Aug 2013
Class Clown
Miranda Aug 2013
I think I'm getting over you.
I think I'm getting there.
I don't want you back as my boyfriend anymore, anyway.
I still miss you though.
It's not a subtle feeling.
It's like walking face first into a brick wall.
It's like in school.
There's those super quiet kids.
They always sit in the front.
They're simply there to do their work and leave,
as unnoticed as possible.
Missing you isn't like that at all.
Missing you is more like those kids in the back.
The popular ones.
The class clowns.
The ones who make sure everyone can hear them.
That's exactly how this is.
The feeling of missing you makes its presence known.
The only difference between it and the class clown
Is that the class clown makes the whole class laugh.
Missing you just brings me down.
702 · Oct 2013
Untitled
Miranda Oct 2013
You used to call me cutie all the time.
Sometimes muffin instead.
You told me all the time
How much you loved me,
How amazing I was,
How I was too good for you.
But now you act like it never happened.
You walk back in my life
After leaving in such a **** hurry
And pretend nothing ever happened.
You act like staying up with me all night
Talking to me when I was upset
Never even happened.
You still tell me
"Morning"
When you wake each morning and
"Goodnight"
Before I fall asleep each night.
But it's different.
It feels like the love isn't there anymore
Then again, maybe it's not.
Maybe I just need to accept that
*You're not who I fell in love with.
638 · Sep 2013
We are fighters.
Miranda Sep 2013
We get thrown down.
Beaten, bruised, and abused.
We get pushed around.
Told that we're wrong.
That everything we do is completely wrong.
Even when we're right,
We're still dead wrong.
We're shaped by pressure.
Pressure from society to fit in.
Pressure from teachers to succeed.
Pressure from parents to be perfect.
But we are strong.
We are perfect in our flaws.
We don't have to listen.
You don't want to wear skinny jeans?
Then don't.
You want to save yourself for marriage?
I'm ******* proud of you.
You don't make straight A's?
That's completely okay.
You don't have to be what everyone else wants.
You are a fighter.
We are fighters.
We will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
545 · Aug 2013
Me
Miranda Aug 2013
Me
I got so
consumed with you
obsessed with you
in love with you
that I somehow lost myself.
I gave up everything;
drawing
soccer
music
friends.
The minute you left
I was sad, confused.
But now I'm happy.
I feel *free
523 · Oct 2013
Doubts
Miranda Oct 2013
How do you tell someone you love them?
Do you just walk up and blurt it out?
Is there some special sign to know when to,
Or do you have to take your best guess?
What if they won't say it back because they're scared?
Or even worse, because they don't like you?
What do you do if that happens?
Do you just walk away from it all?
Act like it never happened?

Because that's what you did.
You told me you loved me one day.
I didn't answer you right away.
I think you thought I didn't feel the same,
When I was actually reveling in how good those words felt.
And before I had the chance to say anything,
You just turned around and walked away from me
And you never came back.
I never could return those three words to you.

*I love you.
503 · Oct 2013
How can I not?
Miranda Oct 2013
Yes, I do still care about you.
Yes, part of me still loves you.
Then again how could I not?
I'm too invested in you to not.
You were the essence of my existence.
The reason for me to breathe.
I can't just wake up one morning,
Think how much I regret it all,
And take it all back,
Pretend like it never happened,
Or forget you completely.
You are, in a way, part of me.
Part of me that I can't lose.
No matter how much I want to.
No matter how painful it is.
I really care about you.
I love you, even now.
Then again,
*How could I not?
I still do love you. I hope you know.
476 · Jul 2013
Three
Miranda Jul 2013
Three years ago
I met you.
I said hi.
You said it too.

Three hours later
I knew for sure.
I liked you.
I was already yours.

Three weeks after
I knew it all.
Favorite color, song,
Position in football.

Three months later
You had control of my heart.
I gave you the key
At the very start.

Three minutes ago
You broke me in half.
You'd had enough
and left with a laugh.

Three seconds ago
I cried to myself.
I put my feelings away
On the back of a shelf.

Three months from now
I'll be okay.
I'll forgive myself
And maybe you one day.
471 · Sep 2013
Him
Miranda Sep 2013
Him
I could listen for hours as he,
laying on his back in the dark,
explained every tattoo that covered his
smooth
perfect
skin.
I trace my fingers over the one he's currently talking about
lightly
gently
like even the slightest bit of pressure would hurt him
like his tattoos were still only a day old.
he talks about them quietly
slowly
like he's trying to remember the story behind them
and it's in that moment
under his dark blue sheets
and the pitch black sky
that I fall in love with him
444 · Oct 2013
Story of her life (10w)
Miranda Oct 2013
Even she who loved nothing
fell in love with *him
415 · Jul 2013
I promised.
Miranda Jul 2013
I swore
I'd stop calling you
that stupid nickname
you always hated.
But I can't.

I promised
I wouldn't
force you to stay
with me.
But I tried anyway.

I told you I'd
be okay
all
by
myself
.
But I'm not.
414 · Aug 2015
Tattoos
Miranda Aug 2015
I find the tattoos on other people fascinating.
They all speak to me,
Each one with their own story.

The compass tattooed on a shoulder blade.
It tells the story of the teenage boy,
The one who fell so effortlessly in love,
The one who lost himself in another's company,
Then had to find himself and his own way without her.

The lightning bolt tattooed on a young girl's foot.
It speaks of the late night thunderstorms,
The ones spent with a boy who was her world,
The boy with the thunderstorms raging inside of him,
Who ended his life much too soon.

The anchor tattooed on a teen mom's heel.
It reminds the young mother to stay grounded,
To keep the drug abuse in her past,
To stay away from the alcohol,
If only for her daughter.

The rocketship and the moon tattooed on his fingers.
It brings back memories of a little boy,
The man's little brother,
The one who he'd fly to the moon and back for,
That became his priority when his father left them.

The music notes making their way around her wrist.
They tell the story of her teenage years,
The years filled with fighting parents,
The years where her only companion was music,
That in a way saved her life.
414 · Jul 2013
A poem to my love
Miranda Jul 2013
You are my light
In the darkest of times.
You may not always say it
But if I read between the lines
I can tell you love me.
Always have, always will.
When I am sick,
You are my healing pill.

You are my addiction.
The one I can't go without.
You always reassure me
If ever I have doubts.
You come to me with your problems.
I always listen to them.
When another guy looks at me,
Your stare burns right through him.

All these poems that I have written
Always somehow come to you.
If I hadn't met you,
Who would I write them to?
You are my love,
My baby, my heart.
I hope this cruel world
Will never tear us apart.
411 · Aug 2013
Goodbye
Miranda Aug 2013
Was it that I wasn't good enough?
Did I say something wrong?
Maybe I pushed you too far.
Could it be that I just wasn't what you needed?
Did you meet someone else?
Did another person catch your eye,
Steal you away, like I had done before?
Maybe she promised to give you things,
Things I could never give you.
She was probably a hell of a lot more stable,
Someone whose emotions weren't a roller coaster.
It might have been the distance,
The fact that we couldn't physically be together.
It could be the timing, me being in high school.
Did you simply lose feelings?
Maybe you thought you deserved more.
Could it be you were trying to save yourself from heartbreak?
I could've done a thousand things to make you want to leave.
But maybe it has less to do with me and more to do with you.
Which one is it?
Miranda Sep 2013
don't make promises when you're tired.
or when you're sad.
or extremely happy.

don't get caught up in the heat of the moment.
you may say something you'll regret.
or do something.

that was the problem with us.
we stayed up until the wee hours.
and that was when we made our promises.

it was then that you promised you'd love me forever.
that you wouldn't leave me.
that we'd make it work.

but that didnt last, did it.?
you left quicker than anyone else ever had.
you don't love me.

*did you ever love me?
Miranda Jul 2013
Once upon a time, this guy I knew
fell for me and I fell for him, too.
We talked all day and sometimes all night.
Soon enough I loved him with all of my might.
I learned his favorite color and the size of his shoe,
his favorite book, movie, and rock band, too.
I told him things I'd never said before.
We had those fights about who loves who more.
He'd sing me songs when I couldn't sleep.
He'd hold me when I was sad and just let me weep.
He would remember even the smallest of things
like how I dreamt of being an angel with beautiful wings.
He'd take me on long walks, holding my hand.
He made me feel like I was flying and never would land.
He made all of the colors look so much lighter.
It was as if the sun was shining ten times brighter.
He'd give me his jacket whenever I got cold.
He told me he'll love me when I get old.
I promised him our differences would never tear us apart.
He alone holds the single key to my heart.
It's crazy to think we began as just friends.
Hopefully, my love, this never does end.
350 · Jul 2013
Untitled
Miranda Jul 2013
When I was lost
When I was broken
When I was empty
When I was alone
You saved me.

When I hated myself
When I thought I'd never be good enough
When I had no reason to live
When I pushed you away
You loved me.

When I was sad
When I was upset
When I was angry
When I was overwhelmed
You comforted me.

When I missed you
When I needed you
When I wanted you
When I longed for you
You were there.
343 · Jul 2013
Untitled
Miranda Jul 2013
after all of the
I love yous
the I hate you
was a stab right in the back.
it was something
I would've had
to have been psychic
to know it was coming.
339 · Jul 2013
What are we?
Miranda Jul 2013
I know
we used to be
lovers,
but now
are we even
friends?

Do you still
think of
me?
Because
I definitely
still think about
you.

You know
I love you,
but do
you love me?
327 · Oct 2013
Only you
Miranda Oct 2013
There's a boy here.
He says he loves me.
It'd been a while
Since I'd heard that.
It used to be you.
Actually,
It was only you.
He treats me well I guess.
A little too well, honestly.
I mean, he's great.
I truly mean it.
But when it comes down to it,
I still love you.
I'll always love
Only you.
I'm writing about you again. Then again, which of these poems aren't about you?
323 · Oct 2013
Untitled
Miranda Oct 2013
I'm tired
and missing you
288 · Oct 2013
I give up.
Miranda Oct 2013
You came back,
Replied to that message.
The one I sent you 2 months ago.
The one that said
God. I miss you.
You answered,
I miss you too.
I asked if you really did.
You told me
I don't know. Maybe.
That was all I needed to walk away.
281 · Sep 2013
How do you ice a heart?
Miranda Sep 2013
These bruises covering my body are nothing
compared to the ones all over my heart.
They're all because of you.
279 · Sep 2013
please (5w)
Miranda Sep 2013
I miss you.
Come back.
263 · Jul 2013
A haiku for you
Miranda Jul 2013
Thought of you today,
Even when I was sleeping.
You were in my dreams.
258 · Jul 2013
Untitled
Miranda Jul 2013
Every morning I wake up
Wishing for you
Hoping for you
Longing for you
Waiting for you
And you're not there.

— The End —