I'll only tell you this cause very soon I'll be asleep and I'll forget I ever made this for you but anywho: I've always found people like you throughout life and they've always had the same damning effect on me. They make me feel like I have a reason to walk this earth to be alive other than just to breathe part of that joy and that's all I've ever sought to be honest I've never cared for anything else before or after that one goal and I've always found that no matter what I do after I leave that person they seem to have been tainted by me, so flee I might be sweet but you'll find someone someday so much better who'll reduce me to nothing in comparison but for now you should keep a distance between us because I am not like you, I doubt I ever will be and as such if you don't keep your distance I'll ***** you out and leave you feeling like I do I'll leave you feeling like nothing, good night

There are no words for how you make me feel
Because it's a surge of emotions
I know I'm blind and hopeful, how else would I have so many reasons to live?
To wish to see that smile upon your face and enjoy having made it for just a little while
To wish and dream of holding you, of being what you want
So sad, so sad that I'm not
That I have to bear the weight of being told what you want, who you love and ask myself all the while
Why?
Why not me?
But at the same time you make me happy
Because you're happy
That's all I want, I'm fine with that
Because I don't know how else to love
Than with my whole heart
And soul
And to take out chunks and offer them out, at the price of my pain. At the price of my loss
There are no words for how you make me feel
When you
Just talk to me for no reason
Makes me feel special
Makes me feel loved
Makes me feel hopeful
Makes me feel numb
Because I know its nothing to you
Nothing special
Just being nice
Plunging in a knife
Deep into my chest
And turning it while smiling
And saying
This is for the best

I like how you're not here for me to touch, to feel, to see, to hear
Because then I have the right
To take it upon myself
To imagine all the places you could be at
The fun you could have
And it makes me wish I were there
But not there
Here
And not me
But you
And then I realize
I've never been too far from home
Yet
I can imagine such beautiful scenarios in which I would love to roam
And
I like the fact that you aren't here, nor there, that you're everywhere
That, like a ghost or a spirit, you dance and wade through the foundations of life
Living on endlessly
Aimlessly

While the whole world crumbles down I don't expect that you'd make a sound
No, not you who can keep your head held high when all others around you lose theirs in the stretch of time
Because you can say it'll be all-right, it'll be okay
just keep moving cause today's just another day where
life holds our heads underwater and expects us to breath
So just let the snow drift unto the ground and watch as the earth shakes and life tumbles down because
it's just another one of those days when life tries to pull you down
So hold onto your sanity onto humanity onto what's out or reach and don't let go
Because its just another one of those days and we can turn it around

I wish to write you the most beautiful thing you've ever read
I want to burn it into your mind and engrave it into your soul
I want that to be the only thing that I leave behind when I no longer exist
No tears for tomorrows which I have missed just one piece
Of words flowing with emotions packed to the brim with the stuff of dreams and overflowing energy
I want it to be my name
I want to give it to you and you alone
I want you to mumble it in your sleep I want you to quote it in your dreams I want it to be the single most inspirational thing you've ever seen
I want it to be better than the artwork at a museum
I want it to be deeper than the concept of human emotions
I want it to shine brighter than the stars and I want it to be there
Forever
In your arms
Not in your hands
Because I want you to embrace it all night and day because my existence will one day fade away
And I don't want to think back
Last second wondering why
I ever held back from you
When you are the world before my eyes
So I want you to know that no matter where I go I want that poem to procede me in utters and mumbles and for no-one to hear it
I want to be able to smile and mean it
I want to give my soul to that poem
I want to put all that I've got and give what's not mine to give in that poem
I want you to be in its finest lines and contours
I want it to paint the subtle image
Of you and your smile
I want it to mean as much to you as the whole world entire
I want it to be so much that I feel sometimes that I cannot aspire to reach this humungous goal
But
If I wait for the world to take action so I can start to move
I'm afraid I won't even be a small fraction of what started to move
I'll be playing along and that's not right
So I want to give you this poem before my life begins
Because so far I'm existing and I've got so much left to give
So
I want to get rid of it all
And lay it in arms I can trust I want to label it off as
"Something I must"
And I want life to begin shortly after I write it
And my existence will fade
And it will be called progress I'll give you this much and then make a promise
To never hold back and not only go forward
But
Learn from the past and keep going onward
So
I can feel right in myself
When I see your smile
When I hold you in my arms and whisper things like a child
I must write the greatest thing I'll ever make
And I hope it will make you smile

The dream's no longer ephemeral
Its now a metaphysical manifestation of all my upsetting worries
It now takes priority over breathing, thinking, existing
Staying true to a goal, staying true to myself
The budding flower that grew no more is ever as much a part of me as is the flower long-since bloomed
And long-since dead
The plastic roses and make-shift smiles shoot endorphins into eyes for miles and miles
Not a single eye lays rest to the tears that they hold though.

They just turn red.

Crying blood, crying shame, crying.

The tears that roll down my eyes are not the dream, the lake that they make though, when gathered, glimmer like a thousand crescent moons
And shine silently
The dream is now real,
the dream has grown quiet.

And I, I have grown lost and weary.

I am that which cannot be broken
The untamed spirit
Of a wandering soul in a weary sack of bones
Floating endlessly through cycles of longing
And loss
I am that which cannot be tamed
The wilds of a forest
The passion of love
I am that which is blessed
With the curse of life
And of strife
I am that which cannot be explained
The random mutation
And spontaneous creation
I am both the poem and the poet
The rhyme and the time spent and made
I am not but a memory of a figment of a fraction of the sight
Of all you have seen in your life
I am that which I claim to be
I am that which you make of me
To myself I am nothing more than a tapestry
Worn down by time
Worn out by life
And still exuberant
The untold stories and unseen glories
I am that which cannot be broken
I am the will and the way
I am.