I am a *******.

My hands are not my own,
my words are spoken for me.
I do not have a choice
in where my legs drag me.

If not a *******, then what?

I fall beneath the wings
I hang above the chasm
I let my resolve crumble

Breathless whispers bring forth
enticing thoughts of snow globe worlds
As useful as paper weights

I fear the collision of worlds
I wait for the ringing to stop
I allow the peace of destruction to befall

Covering the world
in satin trimmed words
Pretending the tides would shift for the better

It's an echo of a scream,
lost in the midst of thousands.
All of whom just need one chance
to live a life dictated by their own hands.

Plaster poured upon bowed heads,
forever to be frozen as beggars.
Not one whisper to be said
from those immortalized together.

There are choices
Choices to be good
to be someone who cares
Who does everything possible
to please the plethora of people
asking for your soul.
Choices to be bad
to be someone who is selfish
Who does everything possible
to please the heart that
resides within.

Release me from this hell hole
Of feelings not yet felt
Of words not yet said
Of people not yet met
Of relationships too soon set

Release me from this hell hole
I beg of you, please
I cannot sit here and listen
To the petty problems of
Society. Especially when they
Fall out of my mouth.
How could I be affected
By crap that has no meaning?
Why do I pretend that any of this
Will matter in the end?
Why am I so ignorant of
The life I should be living?
How could I take part in being
A normal teen, when that right
Was taken at birth?

There are issues and problems
And then there is my life.
The embodiment of disappointment,
My life serves the perfect example
Of what happens when cultures are
Mixed by the hands of inexperienced
Adults, that think they know best.

I feel a bit lost,
I feel like I'm drowning.
I feel as if the world
is looking at me, frowning.
Everyone must think
that I'm a fool for letting myself
reach the brink
for someone that only looks to me
when he can't see himself.  

I care too much
I care too fast
I make mistakes
with consequences that last
I don't take chances,
I take risks
and that's all the difference
that matters in the end.

I wish you luck,
I wish you joy.
Please don't look back
and notice the quiver
of unspoken thoughts
hanging in the air
as I say nothing
and think everything.