Sleep eludes me
Monsters chase me
Morning wont come
Mind ticking over

Brain so tired
dreams are lost
day is two hours away
dawn to far

Palest moon
smiles down on slumber
sleep though not for me
slowly goes the night....

Don't look at me
your eyes burn
Look away
your eyes dig deep into me
they seem to peal away the layers of my mind
they seek to reveal my secrets

Do not look at me
your eyes hurt me
Turn away
you will free me
and yet when I close mine, I still see your eyes
rattling the doors of my mind,
trying to unlock what I dare not.

Look away and don't look back
Because I am weak
Avert your eyes
I am failing fast
you have exposed my weakness
and know my soul
I beg you not to give it away as the
consequences I cannot face.

My resolve is crumbling with each
open and close of your eyelids
I am succumbing to your call
So Young
So free

Look away, don't look at me

The end of summer has finally come
the lily lies lonely in the torturous sun
a last wish before life her leaves
to multiply again after winter’s release.

Gently she lays down her lily white head
this hard earth, her final bed.
Bright white color slowly draining away
Breathing labored, she fades to grey.

Her fighting spirit gives way to death
her seconds are numbered, short in length
A wish is whispered to the deity of blooms
to once again blossom with the summer moon...

I moan as the pleasure goes through me,
He loves me, he said so.
Thirteen is so much fun, I am so in love, he is so cute
The passion of his body as he shares his love with me
in me
over me
on the smooth top of the car.

I sob pitiful tears as I hold my hair back
I try to throw up the moving in my womb
It clings to life and wont let go.
Holding on to my pelvic sides
Body shivering
Body retching
No release as it gently survives

Oh my heart is broken
The scalding hot bath numbs the isolation.
I don't see my love any more, someone else has his love
Still it wont release my womb from within
It holds on to me
clings to me
claws at me as I feel him grow.

The embarrassment of my parents
Mother cries bitterly, Father hangs his head in shame
I cannot keep this "******* child"
I will lose those alive I love
So lonely
So confused
I must give up if I want their approval

The pinch of the needle as it enters my skin,
The chair, the nurse, the forceps.
I stare up at the florescent light that beats my body
hurting me for the child within
probing me
cutting him
Through the blur , I’m sure I hear a scream

The ache as I see my baby go
No life,
Just pieces of left over life
His pain is gone he feels no more
Free
Unknown
Incinerated

Antibiotics my health slowly restores
My memory still at thirty one is torn
would my son, who never was
looks a little like my daughter who
now is holding my hand
loving
trusting
forgive me for my decision of say farewell

Alone

His Fiance said goodbye today,

This life was not for her,

she left with barely a hug

her loss she could not bare.



He tried to talk

He tried to reason

He tried to beg

He even broke down and cried



Her friends say she has changed

her clothes,

her hair

her makeup,

these are all on the outside new

but inside she has darkened,

hardened,

steeled her heart against feeling.



She wants a new life

not happy with the old

She wants adventure now

their happy five years have faded



Maybe she has cheated,

(TELL ME PLEASE)

But she will not confess



Maybe she has started using drugs

(God know the signs are there)

But she says no



All she wants is her freedom.

her indepandance

(but she is moving back with her parents)

She wants fun

(a promotion and more work is not the way)

her home town calls for her

(but she left it because she hated it)



So confused.



The big cities bright light

it reels her in

She is leaving him now

to explore on a whim

the lights of her past,

the fun,

the laughter,



But did they not have that,

He did everything for her

For nothing did she want

He loved her intensely

In April they would have wed



Now the winter looks bleak for,

His heart, it has a hole.

inside that whole is a block of ice

freezing his very soul.



He yearns for her

night and day

and even in those inbetween times

when night and day greet and part ways.

He yearns for her with all his being,

His heart has no more blood to keep it warm.



This is the end of life



I am now truly



Alone