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Raja Smith Jun 2019
Set Free

I begged.
I cried.
I stayed.
I tried.

13 years
I hoped.
I longed.
For your love for me.
A place to belong.

Finally Free

After what you said to me
How much you love another
After taking advantage of me.

Your lips on mine.
Your hips ****** to me.
All of it was just your sick thrill.
We still won't ever be.

******* fool.
You had so many chances.
But not as many as I had to walk away.
So 13 years and you and all the stupid poems for you
In the past they can stay.
*language*
Raja Smith May 2019
Its long overdue.
Its always been true.
My first lover
My worst habit.
Time to get over you.

You forgot about me years ago it seems.
I stuck around pulling at my seams.
Goodbye is enviteable;
I already know.
I just couldn't find the strength to let you go.
Raja Smith May 2019
The pain aches.
The tears drip.
The heart breaks.
The seams rip.

In its place
A darkeness blooms
Of my longing for
More memories with you.

And yet I find
As my heart breaks,
You should leave
For my health's sake.

I never thought I'd see the day
That you and I would part.
Now it's the only way
To save my barely beating heart.
Raja Smith Apr 2018
Do you to know what its like to feel the touch of an angel?
Do you know what its like to feel the warmth from a halo?

Do you know what its like to feel you near me?
I know you're gone, but you can hear me.

Every day I am blessed to feel you by my side.
Every day I'm thankful for this crazy wild ride.

Because you started my journey,
And made me soar like a bird.
To fortunes and dreams already foretold.

The blessings that came from your presence here,
Lead me down a path I hold so dear.

I thank you each day for your guiding light
I am grateful each dream I see you at night.

I love you a lot don't you ever forget
But I'll repeat it out loud and always say it.
Raja Smith Apr 2018
You came down from heaven
And held me in my bed.
You took me in your arms
And put amazing thoughts in my head.
You told me you loved me
You love your daughter too.
I know all the words we shared last night
Were meaningful and true.
I just wish you were still here,
In my heart you're never gone.
But a piece of me still feels
So broken and torn.
I miss you every day
I miss the love we shared,
Even if it wasn't perfect
I always knew you cared.
You watch over us every day
And I love the nights you visit.
I was blessed to feel your presence
I just wish she didn't miss it.
I wish your daughter knew you better
Because you were something great.
A little crazy, a little broken
But truly the best part of my fate.
Thank you again for every thing
The time that we did share.
I will teach your daughter about you
Every day, every year, we will always care.
Raja Smith Apr 2018
"I know what you're thinking,"
She said with a grin,
"Not every story has
A happy ending."




"Once upon a time
Two children traveled
Apart at first,
Then a story unraveled.

He went by car
As gypsies often do.
State by state
Not knowing where to.

She traveled not as often,
Every few years.
Fate kept them apart
And yet some how near.

Destiny would have it,
They would finally land;
In the same place
But with a very bad plan.

They met in a courtyard
Decaying but sweet;
Here is where kids
Became lovers to meet.

Fate played tricks
That made them fall away;
And some years passed
Before they saw another day.

And life went on
That sad "come & go"
To repeat together and apart
But she didn't know.

She couldn't see the future,
But she can see the past.
They never had something
That was meant to last.

They had a marriage,
A daughter, a son,
But he was no husband or father,
Just a gypsy boy on the run.

Off into the wind,
He came as he pleased,
Sometimes with lies of love;
Fate always teased.

Destiny frowned with
A heart of despair,
Further away they drifted
Yet always so near.

They didn't rekindle,
The children did grow
Without a father
To love or to know.

Three hearts went on
And found love of their own
Because Mom made the broken house
And loving, happy home."



"That's how it ends.
I warned you," she smiled.
"Real happy endings
Only come once and a while."
* Hello, Hello Poetry readers.
After seeing my poem trending I'd like to add some explanations to this.

- two children traveled -
As children, my now soon to be ex husband and I both moved a lot. We didn't know each other of course. But our families always seemed to move around the same time to the same states. From our parents growing up up North and moving as south as Florida; only return to our child hood homes of Maryland where we met. *note, I do find it fascinating he really is of gypsy descent.

- I think our story is destined. The back story of two children is too complicated and personal for this page. But after knowing him 14 years and 6 years of nothing but a tragedy of a marriage; fate has plans that do not hold happiness with him. He comes in and goes as he's pleased over the years.

The best possible note;
No matter how hard the separation has been on the children and I, we always find a way to go on. Finally we've found happiness in our broken family. And maybe, just maybe, he really isn't coming back.
Raja Smith Dec 2017
Bipolar disorder

There's sunshine today
But I feel clouds.
There's hope in my heart
But my mind sees shrouds.
There's energy in my limbs
But I feel so much pain.
There's momentum in my soul
But I can't gain.

There are two kids
Who need me.
Some days
I can't even be mommy.
There's a lover at the door
Who says he will fight for me
But a future together
We can't always see.

Try and try,
Together we fight.
Try and try again
With all our might.
Together we fail
Together we fall
But again we try
To give it our all.

Bipolar steals my days
But I can't let it win.
Some days I have no choice
But just let it in.
One day I'll conquer
One day at a time.
I do what it takes
To keep me alive.

Every day I tell myself;
A future for my family
I pray to the heavens
To just let it be.
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