Yeah! - we win!
We Aussies win
the CoreData 2011 award:
each household will spend
an average of more than $1000
on gifts, food and deco for Xmas
Yeah! - we win!
China? $400 only
The French? $600 only
The Kiwis? $631 only
America? $644 only
The British? $815 only
Britain beats France - but
Yeah! - we Aussies beat 'em all!
Yeah! - we win!


We Aussies also win
the IBISWorld 2011 award:
Australia will spend $1.2 billion
on ***** just in December
Yeah, we win! And throughout 2011!
the UK? they drink only 10.58 litres
average year round
the USA? a paltry 8.42 liters average
And Down Under? - 10.61 litres this year
Yeah! - we win! we win! we win!

it is end of day
the moon glows, the birds head home
the boats sway in their own random dance
and you see
life slows to its lame walk

travelers stop at Shinagawa
and they have needs;
our duties done
you pack your samisen
and you will go
and  I shall change into clothes
best for some rest and sleep
and we shall meet again
another day
as our days flow
like dispassionate rivers

1
zzzzz.....zzzzz...shhh.....zzzzz.
shhh....be quiet!.....zzzzz....
it’s the quiet of night
and everyone’s asleep...
so be quiet....zzzzzzzzzzz...

he-body is in bed
and see, beside is she-body
and both owners are fast asleep
but bodies speak even in sleep
shhh....be quiet!.....zzzzz....
zzzzz.....zzzzz...shhh.....zzzzz.


2
one turns in sleep
click! the neck says
ssssuuu!
a big toe scratches the mattress

silence

hmmm...mmmm...hmmmm...
that’s the in-breath, out-breath
as the bodies communicate


growl! it’s an empty tummy
and tchk! says the tongue
as it feels thirsty;
swwwwwirl!
says the blanket
as she-body pulls more of it



3

zzzzz.....zzzzz...shhh.....zzzzz.
shhh....be quiet!.....zzzzz....
it’s the quiet of night
and everyone’s asleep...
so be quiet....zzzzzzzzzzz...


rrrr....rrrrr.....rrrrrr...
that’s he-body snoring
rrrr...rrrr....rrrr...rrrrrrrr...
yes, he snores like a saw


ttttttttttt! yes, she-body kicks

bp!bp!bp!bp!
he-body ***** his thumb


zap!
a noise travels
from lung to gut
hmmmm....hmmmmmm....hmmmm...
there is heavy-breathing
the nose is blocked


4
zzzzz.....zzzzz...shhh.....zzzzz.
shhh....be quiet!.....zzzzz....
it’s the quiet of night
and everyone’s alseep...
and bodies talk....listen


prrrrtttt!
yes, that’s he-body
everybody knows this rude sound
Plattt!
yes, that’s she-body
with an instinctive kick
Baam!
that’s he-body
as it hits the floor


rrrrrr......rrrrrr....rrrrrr.....rrrrrr....
prrrrrrrrrrr­rrrrtttttt!
that’s he-body again, I’m afraid,
blissfully unaware
and asleep like a baby on the floor


Hmmmmm.....
that’s she-body dreaming of Prince Charming
who never showed up


zzzzz.....zzzzz...shhh.....zzzzz.
shhh....be quiet!.....zzzzz....
it’s the quiet of night
and everyone’s asleep...
so be quiet....zzzzzzzzzzz...

1
The Old Miser
my husband is dying
and he makes me promise
I must put all his money in his coffin
when he dies

O my legal third wife
the only one surviving -
you must put all my money
secretly in my coffin

Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!
You made me suffer all my life
and now in your death
you want to bring away all the money
Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!


2
Now, he’s dead
and I’ve arranged for his funeral
and while everyone’s busy
with all these preparations
I dutifully take all his money
from the hiding place
which he whispered to me
with his last breath
and he bit my ear and he snarled:
Put all my money
in my coffin


Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!
You made me suffer all my life
and now in your death
you want to bring all the money away
Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!


3
So I take all his money
and bring it to the bank
and deposit it in my name
and make a cheque out for 10 million
and put the cheque below his head

Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!
You made me suffer all my life
and now in your death
you can take all the money away
Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!

Kron joins the monastery;
he must stay in isolation
and is allowed to say 2 words
every three years


3 years pass
and Kron is brought before
the Elders
and he is allowed his 2 words
Cold room, he says


3 years later
again Kron is brought before
the Elders
and he is allowed his 2 words
Bad food, he says


3 years later
again Kron is brought before
the Elders
and he is allowed his 2 words
I quit, he says


Not surprising, say the Elders
*All you have done since you came here is to complain

I will tell you a story, Most Reverend One
how 300 fairies transported me
to the Mountains of Peach Lands
and how I denied them each my heart -
but ha, ha - I can see, you laugh;
you do not believe me...

but I have more reasonable stories -
for example
of how the Earth was created;
it’s true, O Most Reverend One
there’s such a Being up there
eating chicken dumplings
and poking His nose
in trivial and very grave human affairs...
O he, he, he...you see my tales are but fancy
and do not believe such a Creature can exist...

but am I done, most Reverend One?
Is my list of tales and myth and stories
so limited? - No, I have a list of stories
as long as the tail of the Divine Monkey
that first whipped all stars into position
and with its Monkey hands squeezed each planet into solid mass
O there you are, you laugh and make me happy
you encourage me, O Most Reverend One

I will study your mood
and I can tell you a tale
of how your ancestors
shaped this land
and how they brought that chair you sit on
from the Diamond Palaces of faraway India -
oh, **, **, ** - you didn’t know that?
and generations of your clan have sat there on that chair
and so do  you - and you never knew its story...
I have long lists of stories and tales
all true and collected from lands far and wide -
ah you laugh, Most Reverend One -
and you encourage me...


My story itself will interest you
for I was born of noble family with great wealth
and pomp and estate and attendants
but when my mum died,
she said to me:
Go you forth
and collect the world’s stories
and so I gave away all my possessions
and I travelled all abroad
and have come to my current itinerant state...
See, my life itself is a story -
worthy of our operas and and street theaters
with much comedy and adventures...
ha, ha, ha - O **, **, **
you laugh and you are pleased
which pleases me...

Call then your clan together, O Most Reverend One;
set up a platform
and I will shine like a sun on this platform
and I will tell these tales
in the gentle light of the moon and torches
and I shall spin tales of the moment
for each man and woman
and each child of your most revered clan, O Most Reverend One...
you laugh, and you nod
you are pleased - oh, oh, ha....ha...ha...
that’s good Most Reverend One...

But now, Most Reverend One,
I never start without terms...
*shall we first talk about my accommodation, food, facilities
and payment?

O gentle ones
dear butterflies that have come in my garden
did you see?
I waited today in my lonely confine
prescribed to me by time and life
though I too tried, like you, to fly
but the years given me are too long
and not seven just like yours
and time has chained me to a single place
and no one comes
and in unquiet silence I sat in the shadows

and you flitted in

you flew in like a happy crowd of children
a cheerful procession of revelers
and you flew straight to the flowers -
the flowers! ah, dear butterflies
I had not even noticed them
and now I do...
all of it -
your gentleness
and your grace
and the charm of the flowers
and the beauty of the day;
and now that you are come
I too am cheerful
I am happy too
since you flew in