with a lilt and a tilt
Ha, I shall go the while
roving over bush and meadows

with a hop and a jump
like a kangaroo
I’ll be away the while
avoiding the roads

with a zzzzz and bzzzzz
like a busy bee
I’ll fly the while
over flowers and gardens
and the free open space

with a bounce and a quiet look
I’ll crawl and hide
in quiet burrows the while
like introduced rabbits
chased by farmers

and with a swing and a flip
a light somersault in the air
I’ll be back before you can say:
“dolphins and whales”

with a lilt and a tilt
Ha, I shall go the while
roving over bush and meadows

there’s this gum tree
that stands alone
its skin and bark white as bone
and its leaves
quivering in the wind
shimmering
in the sun;
and it’s so pretty
and tall and proud
the blue sky says:
“I'll come stand
guard over you
embrace you
full of blue love”

I was going on my walk
random and with no purpose
and I walked down the path
when this gumtree said:
“Hey, look at me! Look at me!
Don’t you dare ignore me-
Just look at me!
Don’t you think I’m pretty?”
I laughed and I said:
“Yes…yes…I’m sorry I ignored you…
Now that I look at you, yes, you’re certainly pretty –
and I’ll do better than look at you;
I’ll take a picture of you
and I’ll write words to go along”
And the gumtree stood straight
and gave a wide smile;
and then the cheeky gumtree looked
at the image in my camera and it said:
“You’re not a good photographer;
I hope you turn out better as a poet…”

see our skies
are wide, immense
and expansive;
and our skies point
to the open, to the all-inclusive
and yet
we cut ourselves off
we confine, we restrict and narrow
and lock ourselves
in manufactured identities, in dogma
in barriers
in differences
and squares, in boxes, in stifling corners

sleep gentle mother
sleep in the public dump
that is your grave;
and the child in your womb
you shall be its grave
O sleep sinful mother
the wise Taliban gives you rest
for we think it’s best for you

I was walking in the area
when the elders made it known:
“there’s a woman here
a widow of years
she’s enjoyed the body of a man
and she should answer for adultery”

and so we called for the woman
and I made things out clear to her:
Bibi Sanubar
48 years old
woman, and guilty of adultery;
justice gives you
over 200 lashes
and bullets in your body

and so we took the accursed
Bibi Sanubar
to public view
and let the whip kiss her over 200 times;
and as her illicit lover put his seed in her
we put bullets in her chest and head;
and this accursed Bibi Sanubar
we dumped in government land
******* with *******
dirt with dirt


sleep gentle mother
sleep in the public dump
that is your grave;
and the child in your womb
you shall be its grave
O sleep sinful mother
the wise Taliban gives you rest
for we think it’s best for you

let’s love the lawn
sweetheart
let’s trim the lawn;
let’s get it cut
and neat and fine;
let’s do the groovy lawn dance
baby
so the neighbors will be
green as nourished grass


let’s feed the lawn
sweetheart
all chemicals and fertilizers;
let’s read the warnings first
baby:
keep away from eyes
wear a face mask
and spread generously
on lawn


let’s keep the lawn beautiful
and pleasant
like the ancient fields of Albion,
sweetheart;
it’s time for the ****-killer sprays
and conscientious as we are
we use only enviro-friendly
so let’s read the instructions
baby:
Keep spray away from drains
and eyes and skin
and do not spray before rain


Ah, come on
ladies and gentlemen
of our distinguished
blue ribbon suburbs;
out all with your chemicals
and all our pesticides
to **** the grubs and such pests



come all, Old Ken
and newly-weds Lily and Peter
and new-arrivals Tan and Goh
we’ll show you how;
come sweethearts
come let’s dance in the fields of cherished suburbs
and let the earth yield a great big burb


this is the way
we spray chemicals
this is the way we **** our weeds;
this is the way we fertilize our lawns
this is the way we spray pesticides
early morning
every Spring and Summer
this is the way we do it
early morning
every Spring and Summer

so let’s love the lawn
sweetheart
let’s trim the lawn;
let’s get it cut
and neat and fine;
let’s do the groovy lawn dance
baby
so the neighbors will be
green as nourished grass

on Planet Urrrgh
they don’t go: Burrrp!
instead it sounds: Sluuurp!

there are no people there
just plain blue shadows
that enjoy media discourse on
when the light will bring back
the substantial bodies they never knew

and on Planet Urrrgh
they don’t say: I love you!
they say: I love I!
they don’t wake up
they crawl and creep
and never go to sleep;
they don’t say: Good day!
they just mumble: Oh, no - not me again!

on Planet Urrrgh
they don’t have fancy words
so they call a ***** a *****
so the females and males don’t make love
they just enjoy ***

on Planet Urrrgh
their vocabulary consists
of just five words:
Sluuurp!
Iiiithnuu
Urrrrgh
Prrrghhhjjuu
Dooohnttrtrre
whic­h loosely translated in earthling language are:
Burp!
I love I!
Oh do that again, baby!
And again!
O ****!

and if you ask me
how I’d know all of this
about despicable Planet Urrrgh
that’s cos I’m from adorable Planet Trrrrkkkik;
and if you dispute
what I say about Planet Urrrgh
then I say unto you: Trrrrkkkik!