It was something different today.
It made me happier than some of the gloomy days,
We sometimes had in our lives.

Genuinely, I noticed that I love you,
Not because we are perfect in our imperfections,
It was because you are perfect enough for me.
A longing emotion attached to that feeling I had towards you.

Truely, I realised that I love you,
Not because you smile and laugh every time we talk and meet,
It was because the sincerity behind all those actions you did.
A sense of trust and hope clinging to that feeling that I had towards you.

Certainly, today, I figured out that I love you,
Not because of all the brokenhearts we had,
In solitary or in togetherness.
It was because I said your name in my prayers for all this while,
That we will be one forever,
Even after everything has come to pass.

Today I felt the truest and the most authentic,
Indescribable syllabus to the phrases of “I love you”
and for that I thank you.

Dear you,

Believe me, the calmness within;
It was anything like I have tasted ever before.
It was something that I adore purely the most.

Believe me, when I say;
That I dreamed about you twice tonight,
but it was rather a magical feeling
or subconscious obnoxious thoughts,
- they left out traces.

Believe me, when I say;
Some people have the brightest smiles,
but they hide in them thousands of wonder pictures,
millions of living emotions,
- their broken pieces.

But truly believe me, when I say;
To indulge in life is to savor both sad and joy,
to delve deeper in the dark deep wells,
to swim in cold stormy seas,
to fly away in black night skies.

True, time would not heal anything,
it merely creates a sensation of curing,
it merely deludes one to think it does heal something,
yet even wounds leave scars,
- that are meant forever.

It is about how you write your chapters in your life story
& how you shape the ending,
either sorrow or exuberance,
if it has one.

With regrets and foolishness,
(3:03am, 10th August 2017)

Dear you,

Today I realized something new,
too much oxygen can suffocate a living soul,
like too much feelings can intoxicate you.

Today I realized something new,
don't put high hopes on something that could fall,
like one's heart falling in love with the smile of yours.

It was a surreal yet a wishful dream,
to be writing this just for you.

Shelves of books and you, I imagine,
could light up the whole room,
could enchant the whole world,
captivating those who surround it.

Motion pictures, fixated cameras,
moving billboards & neon lights,
they are living proofs,
- that colors have meanings.

But wouldn't it be idiotic to say:
what is the meaning of this black and white life,
if I am without you?

Yet it is not the matter of patching up the pieces,
or even filling up the empty void.

It is the matter of how you live the life as it is,
to create memories and,
to cherish them, with everything.

The sun will always rise and set at the end,
just the way it is for thousand years,
The moon will always shine and dim at the end,
just the way it is for thousand years.

But what is there for us,
the broken & senseless souls?

With regrets and foolishness,
(1:31am, 14th August 2017)

Dear you,

I don't really know why,
Yet I am still writing to you,
Hoping that you'll read this.

But to my fear,
I hope you don't.

Days have becoming longer,
The sunrise feels dimmer and the moon is covered by white giant clouds.  

The flowers are blooming beautiful,
Just like you when you donned the
majestic blue dress.

I don't really know why,
For me to still waiting for a miracle,
For us to be in synonymous, I guess?

It's too early to call but some say,
Late is better than never.

I think I'll grow tired of this feeling,
But I hope I'll never cease from writing to you again.

So that you'll know how I feel all this while,
Only for you not to notice.

With regrets and foolishness,
(1.21am, 18th August 2017)

Dear you,

It feels like I am rafting into a mystical land that is full of evil and dark creatures.

There is no moon and the skies are pitch black. No sign of anyone, including you.

I keep on going, like I always do. But this time it is different.

Because I know that at the end of this journey, it would be worth it.

Yet I may be dead by the end of the day but at least I could smile remembering how you were there for me, at least.

With regrets and foolishness,
(1.42am, 29th August 2017)

It is a contradictory paradox.
It is a conflicting oxymoron.
The half of my reasoning thinking that
you want to be mine,
the other half of my sanity thinking that
you just want to be of use or at least to be using me.

It is not easy,
for both me and you to be in unison
and all the reasons are in the state of plateau.

Maybe I am taking too much caffeine and nicotine,
Maybe I am lacking too many hours of sleep,
Maybe I am lacking of you?

But there is one thing I am very sure
and that is,
I did fall for your treacherous smile, again.
I did fall for your deceptive but cute expressions, again
and again.

I never knew that pain is this addictive
and your ignorance is my drug, forever.

Yesterday was something.
It was the day where i felt like
if i were reborn, into
something new,
something different,
something more beautiful
than ever.

Yesterday was something,
everything was beautiful
and nothing hurt.

Yesterday was something,
you were as radiant as the sun,
striking out the ray of love, nonchalantly.

Yesterday was something,
you and me,
we crossed the lines, we shouldn't cross.

It wasn't supposed to happen,
at the first place,
to love,
to fall,
to create,
memories, hopes
& dreams.

Out of all things in this world,
you revived me
to be me
again,

This time, a better me.