It holds me down like bricks are tied around my waist
and I’m sinking in a pitch black sea
My head
My back
My feet
Are glued to this mattress
and the weight of my memories,
as heavy as the cement that is tied to me,
are sitting on my chest and I cannot breathe
My eyes fill with the same water I’m sinking in,
but as soon as I cry for help
I can taste the salt on my tongue as it runs down my throat and my mouth begins to fill until I start to drown,
I cannot scream
I cannot talk
I cannot gasp for air
And the only action my cemented body can make
is to grab these sheets that are stuck to me
and pray silently to a god I don’t believe in
that they will release me
so I can try to stay awake
instead of giving way to this darkness that envelops me
Until tomorrow
where I find myself in the exact same place
I try to feel my body and this unfamiliar skin that is surrounding me like a prison cell
and my hands feel a knot tied around my stomach
and I start to wonder
What is this tied around my waist

Sunlight peeks through entangled branches,
hinting at a cloudless sky beyond the somber maze of trees.
And just at the edge of this muddled wood,
a single flower stands.
It waits for the right moment to spread its delicate charm,
scattering pearls of color that twinkle through the network of darkness.
Like hopeful thoughts of the future,
painting a comforting blanket over the frenzied pain of the past.
A thread of assurance begins to weave itself
at the base of each looming tree.
And within the roots of this promising new life,
is where I find you.
Reminding me that all it takes to breathe light into the shadows
is one
single
flower.

I said no
And still you left me with a lifetime of
One
Specific
Memory
Because you didn't like my answer
So you erased it
And replaced it
With a yes

Painfully waiting for motivation until
Time stops altogether and the
Screams that fill the silence create
Deafening distance from reality

He stepped into my darkness,

and started turning on the lights.

Then asked if all these cobwebs

were the reason for my plight.


I, with squinted eyes,

not accustomed to the glow

said, “these cobwebs are a part of me,

but I’m not ready for them to show.”

“Within them are my secrets,

I used to hide them on the shelf,

Tucked away within my mind,

I even kept them from myself”


Then I panicked at the thought,

Of another standing in this room.

So I pushed him toward the door,

And quickly ran to get the broom.


“No reason to fear,” he said,

“I have cobwebs too”

Then he grabbed my shaking hand and said,

“In fact I’ll share mine with you.”


So he showed me his collection

And it looked a lot like mine

Then he pointed out the differences

And a “No Trespassing” sign.


Suddenly he smiled,

started tearing down the wall.

“There’s no need for two

when we could share it all!”


They told me that love

would fly me away from the gloom,

but I never did feel comfort

until I shared my room with you.