Far, far away, in a kingdom long ago,
There lived a ***** King who had a **** made out of gold.
He ****** his royal Queen, he ****** his royal Knights,
He shoved it in the Chambermaids, and up his Horse--did twice!

From the Page-boys down, to the Peasants in the fields,
He even ****** the Flowers whilst reaching for a feel,
-Of his farting ****, to scratch up and down,
'Then he headed through the forest to **** the whole ****** Town!

If you seem to wonder why this King continually ****** and Farted,
Perhaps this poem will teach you a lesson on how Government was started!

Nothing could be worse
than waking up with your eyes sewn shut
from an ex-lover
with bad grammar
and a horrible taste in music.
From an ex-lover
that you still think about
but you don't know why.

Nothing can be worse
than a chunk of sour apple
logged in your throat,
in a room full of armless people
with no names,
(which wouldn't matter if they did
because they wouldn't be able to help
anyway).

Nothing will be worse
than trying to examine yourself
under a microscope,
with everyone you ever knew
watching and laughing.
Staring at you like an animal.

Nothing was worse
than saying goodbye
ten days before you left,
ignoring your calls,
your knocks,
your notes.

Nothing is worse than falling out of love.

I'm not afraid to fly,
Except when I have wings;
And then, you see,
Is when I'll be
A fearful, flighty thing.

i was'nt very clever
at maths at park st school
thick as **** when adding up
a mathematics mule

but i was quite good looking
girls where always there
counting not a problem
with gelled black streaky hair

puberty and progress
next stage after kissing
discovered that my *****
was'nt just for *******

then came my dilemma
a valley ****** vexed
blod the bike from blaina
begging to be sexed

how'd you want it bloddwyn?
oooh!....ten inches would be nice
i counted for a minute....
then i shagged her twice