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Rabbit Oct 2012
heart permanently broken
tears constantly rolling
creativity consistently flowing
but i don't want this
i had walked away from this
taken the back roads hoping to get lost
so i'd never have to return here
i left no note
or clothes behind
i was gone from here
i know you're wondering why
but even though the fruit is the sweetest
the air is the thinest here
and the juice just aint worth the squeeze
i know plenty that have thrived from here
living a life that was truly derived from here
media loves it
tales from rags to riches
triumph out of the slums and depression and despair
but i didn't want to come back here
here my heart rate slows do to lack of love and happiness
here my eyes swell and are red from forcing out my bitterness
here my mouth utters the most profound words of expression
here i write
not about some roller coaster life
but a constant decline
where i am only anticipating the splat that follows whistling
misery loves company
but i fight it
because to pull you down here
is a crab culture of which i cant participate
i dont want to be here
i dont want to write
but if i discard my pen and paper
then i will only exist here
it will consume me
restrict me from showing love
and creating a smile
it will **** me
so i write
hoping to get to a place where i have nothing to say
a place where i wont need to escape
i allowed you to bring me back here
i walked behind you on a path that i thought would only take me further from here
i gave up my control
covered my eyes
and listened only to your voice
and i followed
and when i know longer could here you speaking i opened my mouth
calling out your name
yelling my regret
voicing my fear
and then i opened my eyes
stained ink on white paper
fighting for each breath
i was here again
Rabbit Oct 2012
the worst part is the judgement
the looks of disappointment
the sighs that you try to hold in
the shaking of your head when i mention
his name followed by mine and any form of happiness i show on my face
you don't get it
and i understand that
you haven't felt this
you can't imagine it
the honest conflict between my head and heart is asinine
to you
i suppose you feel how the angels felt
watching God forgive the devil
because as merciful as my God is
and with him making me the way that i am
i know
that there is no way the devil messed up Once
and was thrown out of heaven.

i'm sure the devil ****** up
disrespected God's creations
spoke against his power
and the strength of his nation
but i believe God forgave him
and believed that he could turn the other cheek
be wiser
and reget his defiant spirt
because they say we are in his likeliness
so how could He create this forgiving heart in me
and not have that same compassion in Him
and the other angels watched in frustration
i'm sure.
not understanding the relationship between the two
not understanding why God would allow such things
i'm sure the angels felt like you
you who from the outside looking in
only love me and want the best
from your view
and can really only see the tears, and heart break and unbalanced misfortune i go through
you know i deserve better
and you are right
i know i deserve better
and the mistakes have occurred more than once
and i do not know how to explain my heart
or my head
or why i stay
but what hurts more than the pain i allow from him
is the disappointment i see in you
as you
look at me.
Rabbit Oct 2012
i want to be in love like the movies
but then again dont we all

i want you to be my best friend
then suddenly
become something more

but you are just someone i know
close enough
but no best friend

i want you too kiss me
like your lips were meant for mine
and i'd like to here music in the background
...fireworks too

but the best i've gotten
was tripping over my purse
and falling on your face
as you studied on the floor

i want to argue
then you buy me flowers
and

BEEP BEEP BEEP

morning already
hope i see you again tonight.
Rabbit Oct 2012
my kindness is my weakness
not mistaken
but taken for exactly what it is
and you
you peeped game
recognized that nothing in me would allow life to hurt you
so your shield i became
taking every bullet
every sword
every bill collector trying to put you in chains
handling things the way your woman should
the way your woman could
the way your woman would
if your woman was me
but it's not cause i'm crazy
content with being less than anything
no title
no name
no definition
just occasional **** to prolong my *******
i'm itching to get to snitching
and tell all of your women
that it's
no competition
The Problem's coalition
all on a mission to handle all of your business

you're welcome

but i'm not thanked
no gratitude or appreciation shows on your face
your clothes are washed
you're well fed
and your bills, all paid
at this point
every ***** is wondering why does she stay
but my ladies know
we see our men as what they really could be
if they didn't have
3, 4 or well
15 on the team
so you have no time to worry about my needs
cause what i wont do she will
and she does
and she's never done but
she'll do it for you
you lucky ******* fool
the world is in your hands
and i'm Pinnocio for you
my girls know
how my nose grows when i lie
and say i don't care

cause everytime i'm ready to exhale
and exit this hell
of living in the balance with you
you smother me
sucker me
cover me with a pillow of sweet words
and gift me
with a hope filled rillo
you season my chicken
with new found understanding
and pour me a tall glass of
tall tales of how you hope this **** last

and i stay

so for my unhappiness
who else can i blame
but the good in me
for hoping that eventually you will change.
Rabbit Oct 2012
know that i am your best friend
your stronghold
the metal rod to your stop sign
the short hand
to your long hand
as we tick, tick, tock
counting the minutes
and moments in hours
measuring our life together
You
are my family
more important than
polls,prices, and *******
all rising and falling but we
we're going steady
Rabbit Oct 2012
your sympathy is not enough
your empty
"how are you feeling" questions
followed by "tough it out you're strong"
is not enough
i am crying
head tilt worshiping the porcelain god
but i am sober
i am a ******* projectile and these are not some high tech effects
i am trying to survive but i am dying
i am to afraid to ask you to hold my hand
or rub my back
or rub my arm cause it's sore from this morning
because imagining that you wont do it
it much better than
asking
hoping
and being disappointed
i see my body changing
this is not worked out this is forced out
because my body now hates me
and Mary Kay cant cover that up
and i guess when I leave team natural
to see what Amber Rose is talkin about
then the infamous rabbit bun won't cover it either
and i am strong all day
but right now i am praying
infront of this porcelain god
hoping that my God can hear my defeat
and will send you to save me
because i am to afraid to ask you
i am the strong one
and if this is to much for me
this is to much for them
but i am weak with you
so be strong for me
let me lay my head on your chest just to hear a heartbeat
let me know that you care and are scared just like me
hold my hand
not because i asked you
but because you realize one day
you might not be able to
let me come home one day to
breakfast cooked and movies ready
just in case i cant go to class
because somedays i need you and a blanket and a comedy to make me forget
or remind me to laugh
your sympathy is not enough
what i need is your love.
Rabbit Oct 2012
the problem is honestly my lack of commitment
i do not want to do my homework
write this essay
learn this language
or this math
but i want to know it
i have every desire to be informed in conversation
to be seen as wordily as possible
but not in a pompous bossy way
but genuine knowledge
like your favorite librarian
or your uncle with more stories than the Turner Classic Movies channel
but first i need college
and this moment to learn
and to commit
but once again that is the problem.
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