I see you sitting there comfortably blue
shin resting on your knees
mid sigh
why is everything i write caught in a sad moment
done

peel me like an orange
please
i want to feel open

To compare thee to a summer wind would be quite outrageous
frankly to compare you to a tornado may be more apt
because rather than just rustle the leaves on various trees
you rip through town and trash all that resides in your crowded path
unorganized you shred apart anything and everything

To say you remind me of a butterfly would be simply false
you are much closer to a mosquito
because rather than land and add color and beauty to peoples life
you **** every bit of blood from surrounding bodies so they are nothing but husks of what they used to be
so that they are as empty as you are

continuing on to a different point

I want to run my fingers through you're greasy smoky hair
to gently stroke your bruised ashen cheeks
and kiss the ****** space where your fingers were

gently love you though thats not what you would want to do to me or anyone for that matter

You are more for clawing my frizzy hair from my head and pulling me hard around
to punch my rosy cheeks until they're cut gory and swollen
bite and grasp my neck until its black and blue
and utterly tear me limb from limb

Though I love you so deep inside myself i know
if we carry on with this escapade Ill end up just like the others
with poison on my lips a bullet in my chest straight between my two *******
in a coffin underground as empty then as i am now

lani outstandi putting shreds of egocentric sludge
on the table shoving mushing into a glob of pulpy info
everything you you say matters more than the point of everything its self because you understand it so much better
---
Jim jam Morrison head
you know better than me the doors are your ****
loose lips and rotting teeth from all the conspiracies you spit
get your jaws in line buckeroo all you want is to be a white lighter too
---
hey listen close taunt her taunter
get me to say things thinking youre the king
never admit that youre the **** because people just know that about your oh so sly self thinking you trick me and leaving me out to dry you play it so friendly im not surprised

Bring your A game suckers
******* airhead egos
egocentric allied liars
lying about all their passions
passionate about calling out posers
posing as someone much better than their own
owning everyones aggression in a ten mile radius  
radius of lonely people begging for a break
breaking hearts and hurting eyes
eying brilliant bodies watching them writhe
writhing into conversations
conversing about boredom
bored. im bored

Hi

Hey :)

What's up ?

Just on a dinner date w my parents

That's really awesome
When you get home can we talk

About what!

I don't know I'm just in a weird mood sorry if I'm bugging you

No no no astor I'll be home soon

Thanks so much

Sorry to bug you are you home yet

I'm on the way home right now baby what's up?

I dont know I'm just sad

About what little one

I just fall on people so easily and it's never returned, and that's one thing but at the same time I'm always used but never wanted
I don't know I'm just being dumb

Baby girl you are so loved. And you're not dumb at all! Are you sad about Elise?

Kinda but more than that I look at people like you and her and I see people so wonderful and beautiful no one wants me except for nudes

astor sweetheart love is so fickle, but I promise you on my whole heart that it will find you. You are smart and important and beautiful and worth so much love, you just gotta wait for it to find you. Lovely child I swear to you

How can that be true though not as good at people think I am, and I'm a ****** still

Virginity is overrated and it doesn't even exist
You are so good! And you're so little you have so much time
I'm sorry you feel lonely let me hold you

I'm just being dumb and whiny, but like it just feels like ever single one of my friends has done things and people on hell think of me as a little weird girl
I Just want to be wanted

I feel you astor, I wish I could give you a whole world full of boyfriends and girlfriends and support and love

That's you. But I jut want someone just for a little while to love me
I know I'm not the best looking person out there but I want someone to love me even for a minute

I promise you you will have that experience!!
Sorry that was an accident
And idk no one has ever really wante d me
Sorru

Don't be sorry astor. I'm here for you girls
I'm just really nervous
Thank toy so might
You're so amazing

You are baby it's all you
No actually I can't believe that I am even talking to you right now youre amazing

Shhhh shh

I don't trust you

I hate this because it's a phrase that takes me to my knees

2. It's your fault

All I can say is I didn't mean to

3. I finished and its late and I don't really know what to say so thanks I guess

Utterly hollowing. I'm empty

4. Plenty of people love you. Gotta go

At least that provides some solace. This is sarcasm

5. May I interject?

No

I found the draft to my first suicide note
Isn't it ironic that I wrote it on the back of a job application

Yo

Hi

You know your one of my best friends right

Aw thank you

Your welcome

Hehe
How are to
You

wana call or somethin

I can't I'm decomposing

oh ok
Sorry

no no its ok dont worry
What are you right now

Rolling around in my basement

No I don't mean what are you doing I mean what are you

A happy panda

That's good

Yeah

Yep

Im happy because I'm talking to you my friend

Thanks pal

Your welcome

******>
yeah

I'm incredibly Atlantic

Cool

Ya

Yup

So tell me

About?

Anything

What is YOur favoret thing to watch

Movies without plots

You?

The Isle of Man Ty race

That's cool

Yeah

Tell me more

Well I don't really have friends who would hang with me so I spend most of my time alone

That's nice

But when I feel sad I go for a long run
But I will admit it gets to be very lonely sitting alone all the time

I know what you mean

I would ask you to hang but we don't know each other very well and I don't want to be creepy

I feel you, I do the spends all my time alone thing to but I do it for funsies

Do you want to hang THO

Potentially I am kinda a loner by choice

Oh

I write a lot of poetry
And art

Yay
So what are you doing right now

Looking

Cool

Yeah

Your awsome

Thank you

Your welcome

What are you doing

Pretending I'm a ninja and throwing knives at my punching bag

Cool cool

yeah

Tell me something

Um ... I really like your hair
It's my second favoret collor
Thanks

Tell me something

Wanna know what my 5 least favourite phrases In the English language are?

Yes

1. I don't trust you
2. It's your fault
3. I finished and its late and I don't really know what to say so thanks I guess
4. Plenty of people love you. Gotta go
5. May I interject?

Yeah I feel you

I'm decomposing

Why

Why not

True
Can i decompose with you

I wouldn't recommend it

Oh ok

It's not really a fun thing to do at parties friend

Well if your going down in going down with you

Be careful where that takes you

Ok I will be thanks

So how do I do this

Lie down close your eyes and feel yourself pulling apart. Maybe cry idk do what you feel.

Oh ok

I'm lying in a puddle of myself empty as the day I was born but decomposing is subjective


Im sinking lifeless in a sea of fear and sadness

Invert that and imagine your swimming in the eyes of someone you love

Ok I'll try

What do you love

Art .. You .. Julia.. Um ... Death and soda

That's nice

But when I say you I mean that I um...

?

Never mind

Okay

I feel my self falling into pieces

I told you

This is awsome

It's not half bad
Sometimes

And now there are hungry wolves as im falling apart

I've been losing memories

Wait really

Yes

Well I'll be air for that

What

Most of my memories are bad and sad so I'll gladly loose some

I took pictures so they aren't gone

I don't feel like me

I feel achy and weepy

I feel ... Lifeless I don't feel anything anymore

I'm cold

So am I
Things are getting blurry but I don't want to stop

Close your eyes and go to sleep

I can't sleep

Close your eyes and recite then sounds of your favorite place

I love falling apart like this it feels like death

It felt like falling asleep

That was awsome

Yep

1.You were real before and you're real now

do you remember

2. You are baby its all you

i get the shivers

3. I love you too

this validates me

4. wanna come with me?

i do

5. hi whats your name

this is just a beginning to something potentially new

I dont feel as empty when I think about you, I hope you feel similarly

look realistically i shouldn't be sad
but now I'm small and shaky feverish and empty
I just wanna be held in the arms of someone who thinks they're tinier than I am
I wanna be pretty and little
and happy and creepy

In all honesty I have a headache and its my own fault
I cried all night
my throat hurts
but thats because I breathed through my mouth
sat stagnant pulling papers and now im still sad