R A Sanders

R A Sanders Sep 2012

My words sharpened by my tongue,
Reach out and cut you,
With every intention to tear you apart,
I was cold,
You have frost bite,
I didn't think,
I just took everything you had left,
I was cruel,
I meant every word,
But in my best moments I don't,
Now you're mad,
What did I expect,
Why am I hurt,
When I was the one who caused this,
You just got the receiving end,
You have the right to play victim,
I'm the monster tonight.

R A Sanders Sep 2012

Me.

I'm stubborn,
You'll never be right,
I'm temperamental,
Even on my best nights,
I'm cold-hearted,
Even when I try,
I'm not anyone you want to meet.

I take chances,
I run away from my fears,
It's a new place every night,
I can't be controlled.

I can't admit to what I need,
I can't ask for your arms around me,
I'm a mess,
How could you love me,
I love that you love me.

R A Sanders Sep 2012

Some days..

Some things have to happen,
Some days have to be terrible,
Not because you deserve them,
Or want them,
Because those days lead you
to the days that you do deserve,
and you do want,
They teach,
You learn,
And most importantly..
You appreciate.

R A Sanders Sep 2012

Return Love.

My eyes are still burning,
My rigid body is still yearning for you,
A thousand miles apart,
Yet so close in my heart,
Sometimes I fool myself
I think that you're here,
I'm awoken by my own hopeless tears,
When your life leaves,
What is there to wake up to,
Nothing, but these empty bottles of *****,
These months feel like years,
Return to me love,
Make me whole,
Don't let these pieces shatter anymore,
Be where you want to be,
Be here with me.

R A Sanders Sep 2012

Harper Lee

Little fingers brush against my face,
Little feet kick softly at my sides,
Your sweet little smile,
Those blue eyes staring up at me,
Everything inside me loves you.

The day you were born
I didn't know what to expect,
It was a surprise to me,
I didn't know I could love anything.

You taught me things,
Much more then I could teach you,
I'll show you how to ride a bike,
Maybe tie your shoes,
I still couldn't catch up to you.

Only four short months ago,
You were coming into this world,
It was a long nine months,
You changed my whole world,
I can honestly say,
I'll give anything for you,
I just want to watch you grow,
I'll protect you from danger,
Encourage you in doubt,
The world is yours,
My sweet little girl.

R A Sanders Sep 2012

"Little Man"

I apologize,
I love your everything,
but you deserve more then me,
We were together for so long,
but it felt so short,
One night when we thought things couldn't get worse,
You made some bad decisions,
I did to,
There you were wrapped up in her,
Your hands in her hair,
You didn't make love to her,
but you tried,
Even if you wished it was me,
It wasn't us that create a being.

I thought I'd stop loving you,
Then I saw that little child,
I thought I'd hate him to,
Instead I wished he was mine,
and by "mine" I mean ours,
He's everything that's right in this world,
His mother,
Your one night,
Decided she couldn't do it this time,
She left both of your sides,
But not I,
She doesn't know what she's missing,
That little boy takes everything I have inside,
and I thought I could leave,
I'll make promises this time,
He means more to me then I imagined,
I love that he's a part of you,
I love everything he does,
He's a miracle,
How could you walk out on someone like that,
When he reaches for me,
I can't turn away,
It's not just you I'm staying for.

Trust me, I'm not mad,
I never was,
Our mistakes brought him to the world,
Would you have been there that night,
Would you have been so upset,
All those things we said,
The screaming,
Would you of gone to that party,
Would you have drank so much,
Would you have created that beautiful boy.

I apologize,
Not because I don't love you,
Not because I don't love him to,
Because he needs a mother,
Things I can't do,
I love him like my own,
I want, us three to be a home,
but I'm just to young,
to give him what he needs,
he deserves more then me,
I apologize.

R A Sanders Sep 2012

Would You

Would you think of me as weak..
If I cried for a moment,
and through those tears tried
my best to smile;
if I bit my lip,
and tried to keep my eyes open,
even if every memory was killing me;
Would you think any less of me..
If I covered my eyes with these bruised hands,
and wiped away the tears;
or if I just walked off,
and tried to pretend like it didn't happen.
I'll tell you the truth,
I'm trying really hard,
but the tears find there way down my cheek,
I can only imagine what you think,
please don't think any less of me,
I'm just trying to get through.
What would you rather me do?