i hate that we only understand each other
when we are exposed,
standing in no man’s land

when we’re pressed together,
all weapons put aside,
your arms tight around me
and my fingers digging into your skin,
hands frantically exploring every inch
they can find,
breathing in every breath
the other lets out

that we’re only in sync when
our bodies move together
as one carnal being

that without our ceasefire
every word between us turns into
a biting bullet

they say love is a battlefield
and if that’s so
then my body is a warzone
and you’re the friendly fire

but we continue with this modern warfare
because it’s the only way we know how

tonight i was going to tell you
that the universe exists in your eyes

that yours are the only words
i’ll let into my head
curling around my brain like smoke
and settling into the dark corners
who have never heard something
so beautiful before

that love isn’t just a placeholder anymore
for the moments you make me smile
but rather a creature that
dances, dances, dances with a purpose

that someone somewhere
is looking down on us
smiling at the beautiful mess he created

tonight i was going to whisper
all these things softly
into the small space on your neck
where my lips find solace

but you weren’t ready to hear them

from the moment
that we met,
from the first time
you breathed my name,
something inside me
had burst into flames,
was born again.
you didn’t know it yet,
but i had tied a string
around your wrist
with the other end
around mine,
and although
it’s been a few years
and it’s been stretched
and twisted
and tangled
and frayed,
it has never broken.
somehow i knew that
in the end
you were my one,
and i’d always have to
be able to find my way
back to you.

there’s someone new
in my life currently,
a boy who has taken over
your role and acted it out
better than you ever could.
you made me afraid
to dive headfirst
or march into love
with a blindfold over my eyes,
but i see now
that you were a warning
and not an example.
his gentle hands
and gentle eyes
show me what it means
to love and be loved,
a lesson i would have
never learned if
you hadn’t taught me
exactly what love wasn’t.
(every day i am stronger.)

i could write a million different combinations
of letters and words, a thousand ways
to tell the world how i feel about you,
and you’d still have only the one.
you say i love you and all i feel is
a stabbing pain in the middle of my chest.
you see, i find it unfair that my words
blossom and expand and touch the sky,
and yours are as predictable as a hurricane,
noticeable from a thousand miles away.
i’m supposed to be in love but it feels like
the scales are tipped in my direction,
and what a peculiar thing to be worried about
when i have someone who would
take the stars out of the sky for me.