I want to get on a boat and sail away.
Far, far from the shores that are binding me here.
Being at the winds mercy blowing where it may.
I want to leave because of what happened dear.
I do not hold a grudge against you though.
I could, and for myself, I probably should.
Alas I do not, and this you should know.
I almost loved you, you were my Robin Hood.
But now you are nothing but a person to me.
Just another ripple in my sea of dreams.
You lied, and used me, this you can agree.
Now thoughts of you just blend with the streams.
I want to get on a boat and sail away.
Being at the winds mercy, blowing where they may.

I have been told
I have a devious
Smirk

That it gives away
My ill intentions

My smirk is nothing more
Than the
Thoughts
I have

When you have no idea what I'm thinking

My words come pouring out of my mouth so fast I cannot stop them.
I want them to stop though....
because...
They are telling you the things that I don't wish for you to know.
Then, after my mouth has let these words slip by,
there is silence.
And now my heart hurts.
It literally hurts for my heart to keep me living.
I wish my mouth could have kept the words my heart wanted to say silent.

I cannot keep spilling my heart out to you like this.
It hurts.
And you just laugh.
You already know I want to be with you.
Stop playing with me and give me an answer.
Do you want to be with me too?

I want to
SCREAM
I want to
YELL
I want you to
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Stop telling me how to live my life and let me live it!

I have always loved the sound of storms.
The pounding rain and theatrical booms of thunder always put me to sleep.
The violence of the storms somehow puts me at ease.
It is as though I am in the eye of a storm,
But nothing can touch me.

I am a sucker for:
The sweet boy
The loyal boy
The boy in uniform
The boy who can talk to me
The boy who treats me well
The boy who is ready to be a man
But really,
I'm just a sucker for you.

I don't feel empty anymore.
Nothing has changed between us.
But there someone new.
He is sweet
nice
and sees past the fact that I look like I rolled out of bed just 10 minutes before.
I should have never started anything.
But now,
I may have someone to love.

You are cute.
Not the, "wow look at his abs" cute,
but the sweet cute.
You said I have a pretty face.
I just had to laugh.
You called me pretty lady too.
I smiled like a small child.
It was sweet.
Pure sweetness.
And,
Well,
We all know,
Sweetness is my weakness.

I have a tattoo.
I am going to get another one.
I don't do drugs.
I don't drink.
I have never been in trouble with the law.
Just because I have pictures on my skin doesn't mean I am a bad person.
I want to be a wife one day.
And maybe a mother.
Just because I have tattoos,
Does not mean I am going to hurt you.
I am just like you.
I just remember things differently.

You wrote things on social media.
Okay, like that is anything new.
But you wrote them about me.
Again, nothing new.
But I saw them.
And you know what they did?
They just made me remember things I tried so hard to block out.
Yeah, so thanks.
Because I just relapsed,
Right back into be afraid again.
Some protector you turned out to be.

They say you have found
L O V E
When you find someone to
C O M P L E T E
you

When that someone
F I L L S
in the
C R A C K S
left by those before them

This person is your
O T H E R
half, as if you aren't
W H O L E

But what happens when two whole people fall in love?

I don't care what you say.
I really don't.
I just want this.
I don't know why.
I can't give you a logical reason.
All I can give you is my heart.
And hope you don't break it.

This is it.
I'm done.
I refuse to live my life in fear of anything or anyone.
I will not cower in the dark corners of life and watch everything go by me.
So I challenge you Life,
Give my your worst.

You say you hate
Liers.
You say you hate
Two-faced people.
You say you want
Truth.
But to get
Truth,
You have to stop
Lying first.

Today is better than last night.
I don't feel as empty.
But now, I'm full of something like hate.
I don't hate you.
But I don't want to be around you either.
Even though today is better than last night,
Today, still is not as good as that short amount of time.

You were my best friend. The first person I ever let get close to me.
You and I were closer than any boyfriend I ever had. Even the one I was going to marry.
But,
Today, you broke me.
You made me drive you away.
You were right. I cut off the people I get close to.
I wanted to badly to keep you around.
But you started manipulating me again. Started to push the buttons you know not to push.
I told you to stop. I was almost pleading with you.
I want my best friend back. But not anymore.
I can't do it.

Please, I'm begging you, just let me lay in your arms tonight. Act like you love me even though i know you never will. I feel like this void that is where my heart is supposed to be is getting bigger. So please, I'm begging you, please, just hold me tonight.

There are things you don't think to do for yourself
Like pick up your towels
Or close the bottle of pain killers
Like take time away
Or reset after a lot of stress
But I want to be the one to do those things for you
But I almost feel like I don't know how.

I sometimes think of the flow

That seems to be everywhere

How the energy I feel

Comes from people

Who have no idea

How powerful they are

My best friend,
Well other than you,
Brought something to light to me the other day.
I have the story book relationship.
Well,
Kinda.
I am dating my best friend.
We have been though some things.
Things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
But now,
I have you.
And God am I lucky.
I am just having a hard time understanding.
I guess..
It is just weird to think about....

But, then there he is.
Someone new.
Someone that I think will treat me like a
Queen.
He is respectful in a simple way.
Never getting loud,
Never pressuring me into anything,
Wanting to legitimately be there for me.
So why am I having a hard time deciding what I want?

I miss you so much it hurts and I want to cry, and you know I don't cry, ever. I miss our friendship, how we used to laugh and goof around. How we smiled when we started dating. I loved knowing I was the reason for the smile on your face, it made me feel amazing. When we broke up, it was hard, on both of us. Then you told me that you wanted to marry me, you were so close to getting a ring. You said you knew the second we started dating, you wanted me all to yourself forever, you want to be my one and only. Then you hurt me, you took everything away from me. You forced yourself on me and you broke everything that I was. I don't miss you I now realize, I miss what we had, what we represented, true friendship, true love, true trust.....too bad you did what you did....I was going to say yes....

Why?
Why do I want you?
Why do I put myself through all of this?
Why do I like the quirky things you do?
Like the face you make when you are thinking.
Or when you make that heart-melting smile.
Or when you look at me with those fierce, ice blue eyes.
Why do I **** myself wanting you?
Why do I want you?
Why?

On the outside
I look happy
As can be.
But you know
What is sad?
No one knows
How deeply you
Have hurt me.
I would have
Loved you.....without
Reservation

I need to cut myself off from you..
But you,
You,
Have become an addiction.
And I don't know if I am strong enough to break it.

I knew I shouldn't have let myself be optimistic.
And now you told me.
You don't feel the same.
I say it doesn't hurt,
But deep down,
You have just killed me.
I want to cry.
I want to be held.
I want you to leave so I can heal....
But we both know that will never happen...
I have the luxury of time as you say,
but now all this time,
is just more time for me to mourn.